


Their Halcyon Days

by Chie (Chierafied)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts, Marauders' Era, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:32:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 79,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4256529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chierafied/pseuds/Chie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before they gave birth to a legend, they were just students, trying to hold on to hope as the war threatened to tear their world apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Start

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER** I do not own _Harry Potter_ or its characters, nor any of the song lyrics featured in this fanwork.  
>  I am writing this for fun, nor for profit.
> 
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> * * *
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> Kudos and a big hug to [lordmaru](http://lordmaru4u.deviantart.com/) for making this lovely banner! ♥  
> Also a huge thank you to my betas, [gryffindormischief](http://gryffindormischief.tumblr.com/) and Maz, for their help and all the hard work. ♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The spark for this story was born around December 2013, when a few months in to my stay in England, I was struck with the sudden urge to re-read the Harry Potter series. However, my copies of the books were safe in my bookcase back home, thousands of miles away, so instead I turned to fanfiction. Specifically, JamesxLily fics.  
> And pretty much from that point on it was a slippery slope: the more stories I read, the more I started to think how I would do it.  
> Before I knew it I was up to my ears in background research, wanting to pour my headcanons on the paper even though any and all plot bunnies were blatantly absent.  
> And then one night when I was trying to sleep, the opening sentence popped into my head. More sentences followed.  
> So here we are.  
> 
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> * * *
> 
>   
>  _What if you would know that it all ends tonight?_   
>  _And what if you would know that you can’t win this fight?_   
>  _Would you have regrets, someone to miss_   
>  _Or friends to say goodbye?_   
>  _Or would you tell the one you love_   
>  _It was the best time of your life_
> 
> \- **The Giant Leap:** The Best Time Of Your Life

* * *

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_It’s such a shame for us to part_  
_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one ever said it would be this hard_  
_Oh, take me back to the start._  
     
**\- Coldplay:** The Scientist

* * *

 

 

Their sixth year at Hogwarts started on an overcast Wednesday, first of September 1976. The air carried with it a slight promise of rain, as witches and wizards congregated in London to see off their children. People were usually complaining how it always rained in Britain, yet this summer they had had record droughts of the century, a sweltering heatwave that had seemed to stretch out forever, so rain would be a welcome sight.

At the Platform 9¾ of the King’s Cross Station, the scarlet engine gleamed as the train sat placidly amidst the restless crowd. People were huddled in small groups, some of them chatting cheerily, oblivious and excited. Others were fidgeting uneasily, casting furtive glances around or ushering their children straight on board of the train. Many of the adults – and some of the older students – were wearing expressions ranging from grim to harried and worried. Several of them seemed to have a habit of keeping their arm tightly by their side, as if ready to pull out their wand any second.

One of such small groups consisted of Mr and Mrs Potter, who stood near the entrance, bidding goodbye to their son and his best friend.

James Potter was not paying much attention to whatever his parents were talking about, however. He was preoccupied, casting furtive glances towards a mother and daughter who had just passed them by. His eyes specifically sought out the daughter of the pair, a slim girl with dark red hair.

Even though he could only see her back, James decided that Lily Evans was looking even more radiant than the last he had seen her.

He watched her greet her friend McKinnon, bid goodbye to her mother and then start for the train with her trunk in tow. Then, for a fleeting second, Evans turned and looked straight at him.

The second his and Lily’s eyes met, Sirius nudged him rather unkindly and James once again focused on his parents, offering them a lopsided grin.

“Off you go then,” Mr Potter told them, with a small smile.

“Thanks a million for letting me stay over, Mr and Mrs P! See you at Christmas!”

“We’re happy to have you stay with us,” Mrs Potter said kindly, hugging Sirius.

“Bye,” James muttered as his mother squeezed him in turn.

“Try to stay out of trouble,” Mr Potter said, with a knowing look.

James shrugged and Sirius laughed heartily. The two boys waved one last time and started to head for the train. The trunks clunked along after them.

“So, still mooning after Evans?” Sirius asked teasingly.

“Shut it, Padfoot,” James grumbled, ignoring his best mate’s mirth at his expense.

It was a great source of fun for Sirius that James had had the ill luck of setting his sights on the one girl in the entire school who was not impressed by him but rather found him to be an arrogant toerag. Sirius – and his other friends, too – seemed to be endlessly amused by James’ hopeless, failing attempts of wooing Lily Evans.

It hadn’t been love at first sight. He didn’t think that now, five years later, it still was love, exactly… But the fact was that James had always taken notice of Evans’ existence – her red hair was easy to spot even in a crowd, she excelled in most of their classes and was well-liked by all the girls, as well as more than a few boys, in their year. Lily Evans was pretty, popular and a brilliant witch, all in all, the kind of a girl everyone noticed.

James, however, had always particularly enjoyed the way her bright green eyes would spark in anger as well as the sound of her laughter, so he had made a habit of pulling pranks in her presence – and especially during their first few years at Hogwarts, the pranks were often pulled on her.

But at the start of last year, he had begun to notice her in a different way: a way that filled his stomach with nervous flutter. Evans had changed over the summer; she had grown taller and it didn’t escape James’ curious eyes that she had grown in certain other areas as well. He had been glancing at her throughout the Welcoming feast, and afterwards, when they were leaving the Great Hall, he had been captivated by the swishing of Evans’ hips as she hurried to gather the first years around her and Remus.

Fairly soon after that, James had realised that while before he might have had a bit of a crush on Lily Evans (in their fourth year, he had convinced Sirius that they should hex Bertram Aubrey after Aubrey had had the gall to take Lily to Hogsmeade) this time it was something entirely different. It had taken a little more time, though, until he fully acknowledged his feelings. But finally, he had to admit that all the signs, such as spending many sleepless nights thinking of Lily Evans, the continuous nervous somersaults his stomach seemed to perform solely in her presence, the inability to steer his eyes away from her and the frustrating habit of his gaze fixating on certain parts of her anatomy, made it rather clear that he, James Potter fancied the hell out of Lily Evans. After he had accepted the fact, he embraced his feelings and wasted no more time dwelling on them. He commenced to ask Lily out every chance he got, but to his chagrin, she would always decline with increasing levels of annoyance. Of course, he would still ask her out the next time – even if she turned him down, he could still have the chance to see that angry spark in her bright green eyes, the twist of her pink lips, the sway of her hips as she purposefully stomped away from him. Still, the fact remained that the girl he fancied remained unperturbed by his charm. And so Sirius continued to laugh at him.

James scowled irritably as they entered a train compartment occupied by their fellow Marauders, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, as well as two seventh year Gryffindor boys.

“Hi James, Sirius!” Peter greeted them, grinning excitedly.

“What’s got you in a bad mood so soon?” Remus asked, taking in James’ glum expression.

“Not what, who,” Sirius laughed, plopping down next to Peter.

“Snape?” Peter guessed.

“Nah,” Sirius replied. “Evans.”

“Oh no. What did you do?” Remus asked.

“Nothing!” James insisted, taking the seat next to Remus. “And it’s him that got me annoyed,” he continued, jabbing a finger at Sirius who was sitting across from him.

Remus fixed Sirius a look, but Sirius simply shrugged, his long hair brushing the side of his neck.

Sensing the potential argument brewing, the seventh year Gryffindor prefect Benjy Fenwick turned from his conversation with his friend towards the Marauders.

“Hullo, lads, how was your summer?” he asked jovially, promptly changing the subject.

“Great. The best summer of my life,” Sirius beamed. “Probably because it’s the first summer I didn’t have to spend in that abysmal, grim old hell hole.”

“Mine was good, despite the fact that Sirius was staying over,” James quipped, earning a rather rude gesture from his best mate.

“How was your summer?” Remus asked politely in return.

“Not bad,” Benjy smiled.

“The usual,” his friend Marcus McKinnon spoke. “We went on a holiday to Greece, but mostly it was trying to avoid my annoying sister as much as possible and missing Quidditch. Speaking of which, do you know who’s been made the captain after Dorcas?”

“That’d be James,” Sirius supplied, while James ran his hand through his hair.

“Sweet! Congrats, mate. I hope I’ll still get to be on the team,” Marcus grinned.

“It’d be tricky, finding a better Keeper than you are, McKinnon, so I figure you’re safe,” James replied.

Benjy stood up and straightened the front of his shirt.

“Anyway, duty calls, see you later,” he smiled.

Remus, who also was a prefect, rose to follow Benjy, though before he left, he gave his friends a pointed glance and told them to behave themselves.

“Tell Evans Prongs says hi – Ouch, what was that for, mate?”

Remus shook his head as he walked through the door.

“Your friends are lively as ever,” Benjy laughed as they walked along the narrow corridor towards the prefect compartment at the front.

“You have no idea,” Remus sighed, though a smile tugged at his lips.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Mrs Evans was blissfully unaware of the tense and gloomy atmosphere surrounding the Platform 9¾, as she escorted her daughter through the magical barrier.

“You have everything with you?” she asked her daughter.

“Yes, mum,.” Lily replied, with a small smile.

Mrs Evans studied her daughter out of the corner of her eye. For some reason, she seemed a little nervous, but maybe that was just because of the new school year starting.

“Your father was so sorry he couldn’t come see you off.”

“I know,” her daughter offered.

“Lily!” A short witch with shoulder-length light blonde hair made her way over to them. She was grinning.

Lily waved in response, smiling in return.

“Hey Mrs Evans,” she greeted as she came to the halt before them.

“Nice to see you again, Marlene,” Mrs Evans said, smiling kindly at her daughter’s friend.

The blonde witch turned to talk to Lily.

“We saved you a seat – Mary and Gwen are already on board. Are you ready?”

Mrs Evans shared a glance with her daughter. Then, she pulled her into her arms.

“Have a nice school year, sweetheart. We’ll see you at Christmas, alright? Don’t forget to write us!”

“Thanks, mum. Take care, and say hi to dad for me.”

With one last smile, Mrs Evans turned to leave, and Lily grabbed her trunk and followed Marlene towards train. As she made her way across the platform, she could feel her spine tingling. Stopping at the door of a train car, she glanced back, only to meet the hazel eyes of James Potter. The corners of his lips instantly twitched upwards, but the next second he was turning away, to speak to an elderly couple that could only be his parents.

“Everything alright?” Marlene asked with a raised brow.

“I thought I felt someone staring at me, but it was just Potter,” Lily shrugged, bending to hoist her trunk onto the train with Marlene’s help.

Marlene grinned again.

“Hasn’t got the hint yet, then,” the blonde witch murmured as she boarded the train.

Lily followed her and grabbed her trunk again.

“We’re talking about Potter here. He will never get the hint,” she said wryly.

Marlene shrugged.

“Anyway, Potter aside, I need to get to the prefect compartment,” Lily told Marlene. “Do you mind taking my trunk and Augustus to our compartment? I’ll come over as soon as I can.”

“Well, I do mind,” Marlene started with mock seriousness. She glanced at Lily’s trunk and the cat carrier perched on top of it. “But I will do it anyway, because I’m such a good friend.”

Lily rolled her eyes.

“Thanks a million, Mar. See you later then!”

Marlene gave her a small wave as she took a hold of Lily’s trunk, and then the redhead was walking briskly along the corridor, towards the two compartments at the front of the train that had been reserved for prefects.

It was almost half-full when she arrived. The freshly appointed Head Boy and Head Girl were already sitting at the front. Lily broke into a smile, seeing the gleaming badge pinned to the front of Alice Morgan’s cardigan.

“Congrats on the promotion,” she told her, and Alice smiled in return.

“Thanks, Lily!” her round cheeks flushed in delight.

 Lily had always been on friendly terms with Alice Morgan. But then again, everyone liked Alice, she was hard-working, loyal and friendly; the very definition of a Hufflepuff.

“How’s Frank?” Lily asked, enquiring after Alice’s boyfriend, a former Gryffindor who had graduated just last year.

“He’s fine. Very excited about the training no matter how gruelling it is.”

Lily plopped down on the bench next to the seventh year Gryffindor prefect, Cynthia Jones, whom she greeted with a smile. She then let her eyes wander around the compartment, taking in both the familiar and unfamiliar faces. She answered the Head Boy Connor Matheson’s smile with one of her own and waved at two Hufflepuff prefects; Jonathan Davies and Bertram Audrey, with whom she had gone on a few dates back in their fourth year.

Finally, she turned to the dark-haired witch sitting across from her.

“Hi, Emmeline,” Lily greeted the seventh year Ravenclaw.

“Hello, Lily,” Emmeline Vance replied with a graceful nod. Two fifth years were sitting next to Emmeline, new prefects. Lily was a bit surprised that she recognised both of them – Dirk Cresswell was one of Slughorn’s favourites so she saw him in the meetings. Lily didn’t know the name of the blonde witch sitting between Emmeline and Dirk, but she could swear they’d met her before.

“Hi,” the Ravenclaw girl said, noticing Lily’s eyes on her. “Kat Whyte.” She offered her hand and Lily leaned forward to take it. “Thanks again for helping me out last year, you know, with the frogspawn incident.”

Lily let out a laugh, when suddenly the scene from last autumn came to her vividly. The girl – Kat – had been running an errand for the Potions Master, carrying freshly delivered potion ingredients to the dungeons, when Sirius Black, chased by Potter, had practically steamrolled her, resulting in the entire corridor – Black and the girl included – being covered in frogspawn.

“No problem,” Lily grinned. “Did Slughorn give you hell?” she asked, suddenly curious.

“Nah,” Kat grinned back. “He just laughed.”

The compartment door opened, and Benjy Fenwick and Remus Lupin entered, followed by seventh and sixth year Slytherins. Remus plopped down next to Lily, and she greeted him with a warm smile, which he returned.

“Hello, Lily.”

“Hi, Remus. How was your summer?”

“Uneventful. Yours?”

“Boring.”

They both shared a wry laugh.

The compartment door slid open again to admit the new Gryffindor prefects; Shaelyn Bell and Tiberius McLaggen whom Lily knew to be an obnoxious git based on what she had seen of him in the Slug Club meetings. Bell seemed to know this, too, as she appeared to be disgruntled by her partner, taking a seat as far away from him as possible.

The rest of the prefects dribbled in during the next five, ten minutes, and then finally the meeting was able to commence. The Head Boy and the Head Girl began by introducing themselves to everyone, and after that they went around in a circle having everyone introduce themselves in turn. Their duties and responsibilities were explained to them – the first briefing for the new prefects, and a good reminder for the older ones. Passwords were handed out for the Houses’ common rooms as well as to the prefect bathroom. The first week’s patrol schedule was established.

Lily noted that Connor and Alice made a good team, complementing each other. Alice was likable, easily winning people over and therefore everyone looked up to her. Connor was calm and decisive, both good traits for a leader. They got through their order of business efficiently, and had a good control over the meeting, although Lily thought that some of the sneering Slytherins, like Avery in her year, might want to make trouble at some point.

But it seemed even the Slytherins did not want to cause ruckus on the first day of the term, and the meeting progressed smoothly.

“Now, lastly, although we are not at Hogwarts yet, the term has already begun. Therefore you prefects will need to patrol the corridors here on the train,” Alice said, smiling at everyone. 

“We thought the best way to do that would be by forming groups of four, pairing two of our new prefects with two older ones,” Connor continued.

“And so that everyone could get to know one another better, we mixed it up so that the new and older pairs come from different Houses.”

Lily shared a glance with Remus. She really liked the idea of promoting solidarity, especially during these dark times. She only hoped that the Slytherins would keep on behaving themselves. 

In the end, Lily and Remus were paired up with the new Ravenclaws. They volunteered for the first patrolling shift – the sooner the better was Lily Evans’ motto. Tackling homework and other duties early also meant she could finish them early, and thus have more time for herself, free from fretting over to-dos.

The meeting ended and the prefects started to line out, leaving to sit in compartments with their friends. Lily, Remus, and their new Ravenclaw protégées were among the last to leave. Remus flashed a brief smile and Lily gave a small wave to Alice and Connor when they exited the prefects’ compartment.

The patrol was a standard ordeal, having already been prefects for a year, this sort of thing was routine for Lily and Remus. They strolled along the corridors, keeping a sharp eye out for trouble, while idly chatting, occasionally greeting old friends, happy to see the familiar faces again after the summer. Half an hour went past very quickly, no one was eager to cause trouble, and soon enough the four of them said their goodbyes.

All in all it had gone without a hitch, the students seemed to be too eager to catch up with their mates to cause much trouble.

A friend of the fifth year Ravenclaw, Kat, bumped into them just as the four patrolling prefects were parting their ways. They immediately launched into a familiar banter, and Lily took that as their cue to leave, linking her arm with Remus’.

“Well, we’d better get going,” she told the Ravenclaws cheerfully. “Play nice, kids.”

“Lively bunch,” Remus commented evenly once they were out of earshot. 

“I think that’s a good thing,” Lily mused. “As much as I loathe stereotypes, Ravenclaws are too subdued much of the time. I mean there have certainly been several occasions when I’ve wished that our House would be less rowdy, but I don’t think burying yourself in books is the right answer either.”

“I happen to like reading,” Remus replied indignantly, but the slight glimmer in his warm eyes belied his amusement.

Lily smiled.                        

“As do I, but there is such a thing as ‘too much’.”

“Says Lily ‘The Bookworm’ Evans,” Remus quipped, earning a light laugh.

 And then, they were rudely interrupted.

“Here you are, Moony! You were taking ages, so I came to find you.”

“You mean James kicked you out?” Remus dryly remarked.

“Nuh-uh, I just came to see if you were all done with your prefecting,” Sirius Black said. He was trying to school his features into feigned innocence, but his grey eyes still sparkled mischievously.

“Hullo, Evans,” he added, as if as an afterthought.

“Hi, Black,” she responded neutrally.

“James sends his best,” Sirius continued smoothly.

Remus’ eyebrow twitched.

“No, I’m fairly sure James told you to piss off, judging by that punch earlier,” he informed Sirius.

“I loathe to admit,” Lily chimed in, “but I’m tempted to agree with the toerag on that.”

“Please don’t, Evans,” Sirius said, his eyes twinkling, “the day you agree with James marks the end of our world.”

Lily’s lips twitched.

“That might be,” she acquiesced.                                            

“Also, the toerag would like to let you know that from now on, you should address him as the Captain,” Sirius grinned.

“The Captain?” Lily asked, raising her eyebrows.

“James was made the team captain,” Remus explained.

“Right. Of course he was,” Lily muttered.

“A-nyway,” Sirius cut in, “I’m stealing Moony back now.” He stepped forward and looped his arm around Remus’s.

Remus used his free hand to swat at Sirius, but it did nothing to deter him.

“Have a spiffing day, Evans.”

With that, Sirius Black dragged Remus Lupin off, ignoring his mate’s muttered protests.

Lily stared after them for a few seconds, then shook her head. She had better find her own friends.

 

* * *

 

 

When Lily slid the compartment door shut, she let out a breath she had not realised she had been holding. The tension left her shoulders when she faced her friends. She had not even noticed how much she had dreaded seeing Snape again, not until she found how relieved she felt now that she had not met him in the corridor during the patrol. He had been her best friend for years until the sorry incident at the end of the last year, when Lily had put her foot down. It had been due for a while, and she knew she had had little choice in the matter, but the loss of the friendship still hurt, and so Lily had spent most of her summer moping in her room. Finally she had decided that she would waste no more time or tears on Snivellus, but it was easy enough to boast how she and Snape were finished and she was done caring when she was safely cooped up at home. Now she would actually have to face him; see him at the meals, go to classes with him... She wasn’t sure what to make of that.

All four of her dormmates were sitting in the compartment. Mary MacDonald, a sweet and petite muggle-born witch with brown hair and soft smile. Marlene McKinnon, a pure-blood blonde witch who was very much a tomboy and always butting heads with Gwen Douglas. Gwen played Chaser in the Quidditch team and was the neat freak to Marlene’s lazy slob. The fourth witch was a small and pretty Indian girl Bethany, a popular and sociable person.

Lily greeted everyone and then took a seat between Mary and Augustus’ carrier. She crooned to her cat briefly before turning to her friends.

“I got you a cauldron cake from the trolley earlier,” Mary offered, handing the treat wrapped in a napkin.

“You’re a life-saver, Mary MacDonald,” Lily sighed gratefully, taking a bite out of the cake.

“So, who made the Head students?” Bethany asked eagerly from the bench across. She had always had a nose for gossip.

“Alice Morgan from Hufflepuff and Connor Matheson from Ravenclaw,” Lily replied after she had swallowed the bit of cake. 

“Well done Alice!” Marlene exclaimed.

“Ooh, Connor deserves it,” Betty chirped. “He’s so dreamy.”

“Shame it isn’t Benjy, though,” Gwen commented.

“I did hear another piece of gossip, straight out of a Marauder’s mouth,” Lily continued.

“Did Potter bug you again?” Marlene asked, her brow raised.

Lily shook her head.

“So what’s the gossip?” Betty asked, leaning forward in her seat.

Lily looked at Gwen.

“Potter’s been made the Captain.”

Bethany let out a girlish squeal, causing Marlene to grimace.

“I knew it!” Gwen grinned, enthused. “Potter’s going to brilliant,” she declared.

Lily kept her opinions to herself, and chose to eat the rest of her cauldron cake instead.

She leaned back on her seat and studied her friends. Bethany and Gwen were talking about Quidditch players while Marlene was feigning a yawn. Marlene didn’t really care that much for conversation topics such as boys, clothes or gossip, so girly girls like Betty typically had her making faces. Although, after sharing the dorm for five years, Marlene had learned to tolerate her.

Gwen had unsurprisingly spent a lot of her summer outdoors. Probably on a broomstick, Lily mused. She had worked up a nice tan, which made Lily quite envious of her friend. The closest she would ever get to a tan was sunburn, but what little colour she would gain – various unflattering shades of red – would peel off the next day or so, condemning her to the pastiness she started with.

“This year’s going to be brilliant,” Marlene grinned, jolting Lily out of her thoughts. “We have more free time but no N.E.W.T.s yet. We’re turning seventeen and we’ll learn to apparate. This is our year, girls!”

Lily smiled at Marlene’s enthusiasm.

“I’m gonna miss History of Magic, though,” the blonde witch continued.

“You failed History of Magic, Mar,” Gwen reminded her pointedly.

Marlene shrugged. “It was a rubbish subject. But the lessons were perfect for after lunch naptime.”

“Well, you have your free time now,” Mary reminded, while Lily shook her head.

The conversation soon evolved as Betty enquired about what grades everyone had got for O.W.Ls.

“Lily has a neat line of O’s, and no one’s surprised,” Marlene said with a teasing grin.

“Liar, I did get two E’s, you know,” Lily countered, crossing her arms across her chest.

“You should have got an O from Defence, too,” Gwen said, shaking her head. “You aced the theory portion.”

“Yes, well, I didn’t do so well in the practical exam.”

“Yeah, but that was because S-” at a quick warning look from Mary, Marlene coughed. “I mean the shite examiner probably shafted you.”

Lily shrugged. She tried to ignore the way her stomach had sunk just a little even though Marlene never mentioned the sore name in the end.

Mary sent a quick, sympathising glance at her way and quickly steered the conversation into what subjects they each were pursuing for N.E.W.Ts, and the awkwardness soon lifted as everyone happily chatted about the classes.

“Seems like we’ll all be taking Defence and Charms,” Mary summarised with a smile.

“And you four will be together in Transfiguration, too,” Bethany chirped.

“I’m surprised Marlene qualified for N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration,” Gwen quipped.

“Gwen,” Lily admonished.

Marlene shrugged. “I’d be offended, but frankly I’m just as baffled that McGonagall gave me an E.”

“Could’ve been an accident.”

“Gwen, really,” Lily hissed, torn between exasperation and amusement.

“Please don’t be at each other’s throats before we even get to Hogwarts,” Mary pleaded. Without her expert skills as a mediator, Gwen and Marlene would have throttled one another long ago.

The two of them were like oil and water. They didn’t actually dislike each other, although they could have well fooled others with their constant bickering. They were actually rather fond of one another, but chose to show their affection in the form of frequent arguments. Lily suspected that was because although in many ways the two witches were polar opposites, they both had equal amounts of ego and attitude.

“Well, I’m going to see Florence and Vickie,” Bethany announced when the talk finally came into a lull. “See you guys later!” she waved cheerfully and left the compartment. Betty was very sociable, and had friends in all Houses and years.

The rest of the Gryffindor girls continued catching up and discussing their summer holidays and class schedules. Lily was grateful when she told about her plight of having to stay in all summer in the fear of running into Snape if she left the house and received sympathy from her friends rather than I-told-you-so’s. Each of them had warned her about Severus one time or another, but now that the worst had happened, they were there to console and support her.

Marlene’s wild account of their family vacation in Greece had everyone in stitches. Gwen excitedly told about the Quidditch games she had been to during the break. Mary recounted how she had helped in the preparations of the annual summer fair in her village.

The girls chatted and joked and bickered and laughed, and the hours sped by as the Hogwarts Express steadily journeyed north.

 

* * *

 

When they were getting near Hogsmeade, everyone started to turn to their trunks and change into the school robes. Bethany returned to the compartment just as Gwen was shimmying out of her shorts, causing her to shriek a quick apology and quickly pull down the blinds of the compartment window.

Lily grunted as she pulled her trunk down from the luggage rack. She changed out of the flared jeans and short-sleeved jumper and into her robes, and pinned the shiny silver badge on her chest.

“Mary, could you be a darling and look after Augustus for me? I need to make sure we all flock out of this train in an orderly fashion.”

“Of course, Lily,” Mary smiled.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be good little sheep,” Gwen supplied.

“Thanks, that makes my job easier,” Lily grinned. “See you in a bit!”

The first person she saw out in the corridor was Remus. The sandy-haired young man was leaning against the wall, watching the people start getting ready to exit the train. They were shuffling in the compartments, and peering out of the windows, waiting for the train to stop.

“You know, Remus,” Lily teased, halting beside him, “we’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

Remus flashed her a small smile.

“Would that I could.”

The train slowed down and then finally stopped moving. Students began to exit the compartments and file down the corridor. Lily waved to Mary as she passed her with Augustus’ carrier, and smiled when she noticed Benjy Fenwick offering to carry Marlene’s owl cage for her as she stepped off the train.

As per Gwen’s snarky promise, the students were obedient and orderly as they filed out of the train and onto the platform. Soon their car was all but empty, and Remus and Lily left the train. Their friends were waiting for them on the platform, chatting together. Sirius’ joke reached its punchline just as they reached the group of sixth year Gryffindors, welcomed by Gwen and Marlene’s laughter.

“Thanks, Mary,” Lily said as she took Augustus’ carrier from her friend.

“Any time,” Mary smiled at her.

Lily felt eyes on her and knew right away what she would see, but she chose to raise her gaze and meet the twinkling hazel eyes.

“Potter,” she acknowledged with a curt nod.

“Evans,” he returned with a quick, crooked grin. “May I say you seem especially radiant on this fine day?”

“You may, but it seems my knees fail to be feeling weak. Also I’m curious, when did you swallow a bad romance novel?” Lily quipped.

James’ grin widened. “That was an unfortunate accident. It all started with a poorly timed, impromptu game of tag in the library. You see – “

But Lily had stopped listening to Potter’s impromptu jape because right then, across the platform, she spotted the familiar greasy black hair in the crowd of students and her stomach gave a sick lurch. She shrank a little and stepped closer to Remus, as if to hide herself from sight.

Potter had stopped talking. He was looking at her and his eyes suddenly seemed guarded.

“We should get moving,” Peter spoke up finally, into the awkward silence suddenly reigning over them, and the group started down the platform and towards the waiting carriages where it split to two, the girls getting into one and the boys to another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The Frogspawn Incident” referenced in this chapter actually exists a separate-but-related oneshot. So if anyone’s interested, feel free to check it out!


	2. Back To School

* * *

_The broken locks were a warning_  
_You got inside my head_  
_I tried my best to be guarded_  
_I’m an open book instead_

 **\- Lifehouse:** Broken

* * *

Lily had been more silent than usual during the ride from the Hogsmeade train station to Hogwarts. She had taken her place at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, sitting down between Mary and Marlene. She had purposefully avoided looking over to the Slytherin table as the Sorting Hat had sung its song, urging for solidarity between the Houses, reminding them to find strength in unity. The Hat had made its songs around a similar theme for four years now, as the war had grown more destructive and started tearing their world apart. Lily had watched the sorting together with her friends, and she had tried so hard to concentrate on it and shut out the could-have-beens whirling on her mind.

She tried to shake it off the best she could, listen attentively to Dumbledore’s welcoming speech, enjoy the delicious feast, joke around with her friends, but through everything she still felt like her stomach was in knots. She thought she had made a convincing show of acting normal, until she accidentally caught Potter staring at her. He quickly averted his gaze, but the frown on his face remained. Lily sighed, and attacked the chocolate pudding with fervour.

After the feast, Lily, Remus, and the other Gryffindor prefects showed the first years the way to the Gryffindor Tower and helped to herd the rest of their House across the castle. She had just settled down in her favourite arm chair by the fireplace in the common room, when her friends arrived.

They spent at least an hour there, just chatting, basking in the warmth of the fire and occasionally giggling. Finally they left upstairs, and Lily’s dull mood briefly broke when she entered the dorm room. Here, finally, she felt like she had come back home. The friendly chatter finally died as the girls prepared for bed and crawled under their blankets, Gwen and Marlene drawing the curtains of their beds shut.

But Lily just lay there, staring at the dark canopy of her bed, listening to Marlene’s soft snores and Gwen’s even breaths. Augustus was curled up by her pillow, sleeping lightly. She had resigned to staying awake, and imagined she was the only person losing sleep, when a whisper carried from the neighbouring bed.

“Lily?”

“What is it, Mary?” Lily replied in an undertone.

Mary was quiet for a moment, though a rustle told Lily she moved.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Whatever it is that is bothering you. You were awfully quiet all night and seemed a bit distracted.”

Lily turned under her blankets to face Mary, and hummed to herself.

“I didn’t think anyone noticed. Well, except for maybe Potter.”

“What is it?” Mary’s voice was quiet and kind.

Lily bit her lip. She propped herself up on her bed, supporting her weight with her elbow.

“I saw Se – Snape – on the platform today,” she started hesitantly. “Just noticed him in the crowd. He didn’t even see me. But… the sight of him, it just instantly brought everything back, so vividly like I had a film running in my head.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Lily.”

“I know I need to move on. And I won’t forgive him or make any more excuses for him. But it still hurts, because we were so close.” Frustrated, Lily combed her hair with her fingers. “You’re my best friend, Mary, but Severus… He had been my friend for the longest.”

“It will take time,” came Mary’s reassuring answer.

“You know what’s the worst part?”

Mary shook her head.

“Severus was the only friend I had left whom I had known before I came to Hogwarts. It’s like… every year, I feel more and more divided. Every year there are more things I can’t tell my parents because they couldn’t understand or because I don’t want to scare or upset them… Every year I feel like I’m drifting further and further away and that scares me.”

“I know,” Mary said. “I feel the same way sometimes. I haven’t told my parents about the war either. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong to either the muggle or the wizarding world.”

“Yeah,” Lily sighed, succumbing to the gloom, “we can’t go back to how we were before we came to Hogwarts, and yet there are people in this world saying we’re not real witches and shouldn’t be allowed to _live_.”

Mary hugged her knees.

“It’s awful,” she whispered to the dark room.

“I just want to find somewhere to belong,” Lily confessed, her voice shaking slightly. “Hogwarts feels like home, but we only have two years left now. What then?”

“I don’t know,” Mary said, her voice small and helpless in the dark.

And the two muggle-born girls fell silent, both lost in their thoughts as the night around them deepened.

 

* * *

 

 

James felt decidedly glum when he and his friends – sans Remus – made their way up to the Gryffindor Tower. He couldn’t have helped but notice how withdrawn Lily had become, ever since that fleeting moment when she had seen Snape on the Hogsmeade platform. She had of course put on a show of normalcy, seemingly enjoying the Welcoming feast and laughing with her friends, but none of that was in earnest. Her bright green eyes had been dull all evening, lacking their usual lively sparkle. It was obvious that she was still hung up over how her and Snivellus’ friendship had been torn apart.

The last thing James Potter wanted in the world was seeing Lily Evans unhappy, and it turned his stomach to know that her current misery was ultimately his doing.

Trudging up the stairs leading to the boys’ dormitories, he mulled over his options and as the three Marauders entered their dorm, James grimly came to a decision.

James blurted out his epiphany, not even pausing to greet Remus who had already made himself at home in the dormitory.

“I’m giving up.”

“That’s splendid, Prongs. What are we talking about again?” Peter asked absentmindedly, digging through his trunk.

“Evans,” James replied matter-of-factly.

“Of course we are,” Sirius muttered glumly.

“She hates me, so I’m giving up.” James sank into his four-poster bed with a heavy sigh.

For a moment, the three Marauders merely stared at James in silence, before Peter scoffed and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Good on you, Prongs.”

“Yeah right.”

“I could do with a little more support. You’re rubbish mates, you lot,” James said indignantly.

“This isn’t exactly the first time you’ve said that, Prongs,” Remus reminded him kindly, sitting at the edge of his own bed. “You’ve ‘given up’ on Lily dozens of times.”

James glared at his friends.

“Well, this time I mean it.”

“You’ve said that before, too,” Sirius told him. “And Evans has always hated you.”

“But she hates me _more_ now. She must, after what happened in June.”

“You mean when we hexed Snivellus?” Sirius chuckled. “Good times.”

“No, I mean what happened _after_ that, him calling her the M-word. Their friendship ended and she cried and it’s my fault.”

“James,” Remus started patiently, “Snape burned his bridges all on his own. You did not force him to insult Lily.”

“But I was involved in it,” James insisted.

“Yes, you were,” Remus agreed, “but it still wasn’t your fault.”

James didn’t reply. Remus sighed; he could tell that his friend still felt guilty about it, no matter how much reason he would try to talk into him. James could be infuriatingly stubborn.

Sirius crossed the room, plopped down into James’ bed and clapped his best mate on the shoulder.

“Well, if you’re really giving up on Evans, I can only tell you one thing.”

James looked at his friend, who had schooled his face into a sombre expression.

“And that is?” he prompted.

“I am so very proud of you, Prongsie-boy,” Sirius said, breaking into a grin.

Personally, Sirius Black had never understood what James saw in Evans. Okay, the girl did have a good pair of legs on her and a fantastic bum, but she was too much of the stick-in-a-mud-stickler-for-rules-wand-up-her-arse kind of a heartless bitch and butcheress of everything and anything fun, for her eye-pleasing physique to be a redeeming quality.

Remus shook his head. He wasn’t really convinced that James could stay true to his word this time. James obviously cared a lot about Lily, and you could not simply put a stop to fancying someone like that. He looked at James, who was now laughing about something with Sirius. Giving up on Lily could be a good thing, Remus concluded, though not in the way James intended. Maybe he would quit trying so hard around her now. That would give Lily a chance to see the real James, the James who wasn’t making an utter arse out of himself while trying to show off for her benefit.

Well, one could hope, at the least.

 

* * *

 

 

It was the morning of their second day back and the Hogwarts rumour mill was already in full swing. One of its well-oiled cogs, Lily’s dormmate Bethany Narang, was more than eager to share the juicy gossip she had picked up.

“Did you hear about Professor Harkins?” she asked the moment Lily, Mary and Marlene sat down next to Gwen at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.

“No,” Lily replied as she poured herself a cup of tea. “What about him?”

“He won’t be teaching anymore.”

Lily’s gaze shot up from the scrambled eggs she had been spooning onto her plate and gaped at Bethany. She had been so dazed at the Welcoming feast last night that she had not even noticed the change at the staff table.

Marlene seemed disgruntled as well, she groaned as she speared her slice of bacon.

“Don’t tell me we’re getting a new Defence teacher again?”

Lily bit her lip and frowned at her eggs.

Every year, they would have a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Lily found it quite ridiculous. Half the student body actually was in the firm belief that the job was somehow jinxed. Whatever the reason though, it really upset Lily that their education in the subject was so disjointed and lacked consistency. After all, at this moment, with a dark wizard fanning the flames of war, Defence Against the Dark Arts had to be one of the most important lessons in the whole school. What they learned in the classroom could very well save their lives one day. Really, it was the one subject where they could not afford to have subpar teaching, Lily pondered, glumly moving her eggs around her plate.

The red-haired witch snapped out of her thoughts when Bethany leaned across the table, her dark eyes flashing.

“Apparently Professor Harkins spent his Christmas in France last year and through mutual acquaintances met a woman.” Bethany giggled. “They kept in contact, sending letters back and forth all spring, and when the school year ended Harkins informed Professor Dumbledore that he had applied for a position at Beauxbatons.”

“That’s sweet,” Mary sighed.

“I hope things work out with him and this lady friend,” Marlene noted with a dry smile, swirling her goblet of pumpkin juice.

“Any news about the new Defence teacher?” Gwen asked.

“Not much,” Bethany confessed. “Just that her name is Quirke and that she seems fairly young.”

“Well, we’ll have to see for ourselves when we have Defence, I suppose,” Marlene shrugged, and went back to her bacon.

After the breakfast was over, the sixth years lingered at the Gryffindor table. Professor McGonagall had come down from the staff table to distribute the timetables for everyone, but since sixth years’ schedules were the trickiest, she was saving them for last. McGonagall had to check everyone’s O.W.L. grades to make sure they were eligible for their chosen lessons.

“Of course, you have nothing to worry about,” Marlene told Lily rather snidely.

“I’m glad you’re so happy for me,” Lily snorted.

“She’s just jealous,” Gwen shrugged. “Ignore her.”

“She shouldn’t be,” Betty chirped, smiling. “Lily is brilliant, but we all know she also works hard.”

“Whereas you don’t,” Gwen added helpfully, “You’re not stupid, Marls, just lazy.”

Mary saw Marlene roll her eyes and decided to put her foot down.

“Please, girls, don’t start fighting now.”

Marlene looked like she wanted to retort, but held her tongue in the end. Mostly because Professor McGonagall had just turned away from James Potter and his friends, and was coming over to them.

“Alright, Miss Douglas,” she said briskly as she looked through her notes. “You wanted Ancient Runes, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration?”

“Yes, professor,” Gwen replied.

“Well, everything seems to be in order,” McGonagall said, tapping the timetable with her wand to fill it and then handed it to Gwen.

“Now, Miss Evans, Ancient Runes, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions and Transfiguration are all fine, here you go.”

“Thank you, professor.”

Lily studied her timetable as Professor McGonagall continued to distribute them to her friends. It seemed she had Runes in fifteen minutes.

When they had got their timetables, all five girls walked back to the Gryffindor Tower. Lily and Gwen fetched their schoolbags and rushed off to their Runes lesson, leaving the others lounging comfortably in the common room, enjoying their free time.

“How’s yours?” Gwen asked as they walked towards the classroom.

“Surprisingly nice,” Lily replied. “Wednesday and Friday are going to be very laid back.”

Gwen made a face.

“Thursdays are going to be bloody annoying,” she said. “I have Runes at eight and Defence at two and nothing in between.”

“Well, from what I’ve heard from Alice Morgan and Emmeline Vance, I doubt we really get to enjoy all this spare time. N.E.W.T. lessons are hard.”

Gwen nodded.

“Yeah, it probably won’t be as laid-back as Marlene boasted.”

“We can always hope,” Lily smiled. “But I think we’re in for a rude awakening.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Lily’s statement turned out to be truer than either of them had even realised. Gwen seemed to actually be in shock when the two witches emerged from Ancient Runes an hour later, buried up to their ears in homework.

“She’s gone mad,” Gwen announced with a rueful shake of her head.

“Well, Professor Babbling has always been heavy-handed with homework,” Lily reminded her. The Runes Professor was young and enthusiastic, having started teaching only three years ago.

“Not like this,” Gwen muttered under her breath.

The girls parted ways when they reached the staircases, Gwen headed up to the Gryffindor Tower while Lily went down, hurrying to her next class, a double lesson of Herbology.

Mary and Marlene were already outside by the greenhouses, idly conversing with the Gryffindor boys when Lily arrived. It appeared that all of them except for Peter were taking Herbology. Remus and James greeted her with friendly smiles and a wave of hand, but Sirius Black only deigned to give Lily a curt nod. She didn’t mind. He wasn’t exactly her favourite person, either.

The six Gryffindors made some small talk about timetables and lessons, until Professor Sprout appeared, wearing her patchy hat and dirt-spotted robes as always, and announced that they would be in greenhouse five.

They had actually never been in that particular greenhouse before, and Lily felt a surge of curiosity as the students began to file in. She noticed how in front of her, James Potter very gentlemanly gestured for a Ravenclaw girl, Dana Watson, to step in before him. The girl repaid his courtesy with a quick smile and flash of dimples.

Time always seemed to fly in the greenhouses. It was such a change of pace from the usual textbooks and sitting in a classroom. There was actually something rather relaxing and satisfying about burying ones hands in the dirt. Or, well, there would have been if the plants they were handling weren’t occasionally violent and potentially deadly. It certainly was a very different walk in the park from Lily’s mother’s meticulously cared-for flower garden.

Lily and Mary were still trying to clean the dirt out from under their fingernails, when the girls sat down at the Gryffindor table for lunch. Gwen announced that she had taken advantage of her spare time to get a head start with her Rune translations. Lily commended her for her hard work, though Marlene only sniffed in disdain.

After lunch, Mary and Lily made their way to double Potions. As they descended into the dungeons, Lily’s previously contently full stomach began to knot and sink. She loved Potions, it was her favourite lesson together with Charms, and she was quite fond of Professor Slughorn, too. But Potions had always been her and Sev’s thing. They had shared a table during the lessons, experimented a little together, taking liberties with the stuffy instructions in the books.

In the torch-lit corridor outside the Potions classroom there was no sign of Severus Snape, however, and the tension Lily hadn’t even noticed she was carrying left her shoulders. In fact, they were early, since apart from two Slytherin girls lounging about the corridor was empty. At the sight of Lily, the tall dark-haired girl nudged her friend, who quickly shot Lily an ugly glare. Then, the tall girl, Adeleine Blastock, decisively turned her back to her.

Such a lovely greeting from a fellow prefect, Lily thought dryly, and then promptly ignored the Slytherin girls in turn.

Other students began to appear in the corridor, and soon enough the girls were joined by two gentlemen.

“Hello, ladies,” a cheerful voice greeted. “We meet again.”

The bespectacled boy grinned as he plopped to lean against the stone wall, next to Lily. Remus shook his head.

“Potions, Potter?” Lily asked mildly, her brow quirking in surprise.

James only offered a one-shouldered shrug.

“It’s a staple subject,” Remus spoke. “Although it isn’t exactly my strong suit, either.”

“Not all of us can be brewing geniuses,” James sighed regretfully, though the smile still played on his lips.

“Oh, I suppose not,” Lily replied with a light tone, making James grin wider.

As Remus and Mary began to converse in soft tones, Lily glanced around at the students congregated in the hallway. Her heart did the familiar, sickening jolt as she spotted Severus. The class seemed significantly smaller than last year, besides their little group there were four Slytherins, three Ravenclaws and only two Hufflepuffs. Finally, Professor Slughorn arrived and flashed a fond, jovial smile Lily’s way before he unlocked the door and followed his protruding belly into the classroom. The students quickly filed in, gathering around the tables. There were four seats at each table, which suited the four Gryffindors perfectly. They sat down and then the familiar rummaging began. Professor Slughorn patiently waited until everyone was finished pulling out their textbooks and adjusting their scales, and then launched into an introduction of the Advanced Potions class.

And while Lily felt completely enraptured by the lecture, a part of her felt uncomfortably conscious of the table at the back of the room where the Slytherins and her former best friend had chosen to sit. She couldn’t completely shake off that bothersome, painful awareness or banish Severus from her thoughts. She bit her lip and squeezed her quill so tightly her knuckles blanched.

But when Slughorn finally wrapped up his lecture and the time came to actually start the brewing, Lily found her lips twitching into a smile. A moment later she was laughing, the sour bunch of Slytherins and dear old Snivellus completely forgotten. Shaking her head, she met the twinkling hazel eyes and felt for a moment very grateful that James Potter was there, cracking his stupid jokes until he managed to coax a smile onto her lips.

Idly, Lily wondered whether these were his usual antics, or whether he was doing it for her benefit. Lily had noticed before that James Potter was much more perceptive than most people might have thought, so she could not fully discount the possibility that his animated japes were purposefully designed to take her mind off of the painfully wistful remembrance of her lost friendship.

Lily powdered the asphodel root with vigour and then dropped it into her cauldron. She carefully adjusted the heat and stirred the concoction, staring down at the swirling pale vapours with a small smile.

Perhaps, Potions lessons without Severus wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

 

The most memorable lesson of the first school day of the year, however, was Defence Against the Dark Arts. The anticipation was high before the lesson even began, the corridor outside the classroom was filled with animated, eagerly speculating students who were curious to see what the new teacher would be like.

Soon, they were all sitting at their desks in the classroom, a hushed silence reigning over them as the class and the teacher quietly examined one another.

Lily’s first impression was the voice with which the woman spoke; clear and carrying with a slight Irish lilt.

“My name is Professor Quirke,” the witch introduced herself.

She was wearing dark blue robes and a solemn expression.

“I can see from the notes of your previous teachers that you’ve been subjected to quite a number of teachers who have all had their own ideas of suitable curriculums. At the end of the day that leaves you with quite the patchwork of an education. I’m delighted to see that so many of you did well enough on your O.W.L.s to continue on to these advanced lessons of Defence Against the Dark Arts.”

The classroom was hushed, and Lily listened with rapt attention like many of her fellow students. Even the marauders were sitting still and paying attention.

“Defence Against the Dark Arts boasts a long history, but it has never been as relevant as it is today. That is why I want you to know, that my job is not about preparing you for your N.E.W.T.s.”

Whispers immediately erupted from that peculiar statement, but Professor Quirke paid no heed to the confused looks her students were giving her.

“My job,” she continued, her voice firm, “is to prepare you for the war raging outside these walls.”

The whispers died and the classroom fell into such deep silence that one could have heard a pin drop.

Professor Quirke waved her wand and words appeared on the blackboard behind her. The room quickly came alive again, with the sounds of rustling parchment, ink bottles popping open and a dozen quills scratching, as the students hurried to take notes.

“Here is our curriculum for this school year. As you can see, we will devote most of the autumn term to curses and counter-curses, the emphasis being on non-verbal spells and duelling…”

Forty minutes later, the five awed sixth year Gryffindor girls were walking to the Charms classroom and their very last lesson of the day, when Marlene finally found her voice.

“She’s amazing,” she blurted out, in a respectful tone.

The others were quick to agree.

“That was a powerful little speech she did there,” Gwen said. “Made quite the impression.”

“It was very impressive,” Lily said. It had been only one lesson, but she already liked Professor Quirke. Like Gwen said, she had made an impression. Her thoughts seemed to coincide much with Lily’s own, and she couldn’t help but to admire the new teacher.

“She is clearly better than Harkins was,” Bethany Narang chirped, and Mary nodded.

 

* * *

 

 

The small table before her plump chair was covered with rolls and sheets of parchment and piles of books. She had been furiously writing just a moment ago but now she was holding up the parchment and inspecting it. There was that adorable little crease on her brow and she was biting her lip, her green eyes narrowed in concentration.

“I thought you were giving up,” Peter’s puzzled voice remarked, bringing him back to reality. James Potter tore his gaze away from the red-haired witch, and ran a frustrated hand through his black hair.

“I am,” he replied firmly. Then he sighed. “It’s a process, you know? I mean, I can’t just flip a switch and stop caring.”

“I guess,” the plump blond boy acquiesced. He studied his friend, then glanced across the room where the witch was studying. “Did you ever think about becoming friends?”

James gaped at Peter.

“Friends? _Me and Evans_? Were you hit over the head again, Wormy?”

“Why not?” the small boy countered. “Remus told me about Potions. You got along okay today, didn’t you?”

“I suppose…” James frowned. He very much would have liked to be friends with Lily Evans, but befriending the witch had never really crossed his mind – not as a serious consideration in any case. He didn’t think it would really work out, though, she had been pretty upfront about what she thought of him at the end of the last school year. Still, Potions lesson that afternoon had gone all right.

Lily and James shared a House, most of their lessons, and a few of their friends – namely Remus, Marlene and Gwen. Therefore it wasn’t uncommon for them to spend time together or hold a casual conversation every now and then. But they weren’t really friends and James didn’t know her that well. They never actually spent time alone, just the two of them. Usually when they interacted it was in a group of friends.

Of course, he would continue to be friendly to Evans, even now. His decision to give up on her was restricted to pursuing a relationship with her. But pursuing a friendship would be a whole other matter, and wouldn’t really contradict his intent of giving up on her. Rather, it could actually further his agenda, reassigning Lily Evans from “the girl he really fancied” to “just a friend”.

“I’ll have to think about it,” James said at last, earning a weak smile from Peter. The messy-haired boy straightened in his seat and picked up the Transfiguration textbook.

“Now which part were you having trouble with, Wormy?”


	3. Schoolwork Blues

* * *

_We're all fighting growing old_  
_In the hopes_  
_Of a few minutes more_  
_[…]_  
_But you need to lower your standards_  
_Cause it's never_  
_Getting any better than this_

-        **Fall Out Boy:** Rat A Tat

* * *

 

They had all thought that the O.W.L. year had been bad, but once again hindsight proved to be 20/20. Already after their very first N.E.W.T. lessons, the Gryffindor girls were wistfully longing for the peace and relaxation of their previous year. The first Transfiguration lecture had Lily’s head spinning and Marlene moaning about how she was going to fail. Professor Babbling was no longer the only teacher who was overly generous when handing out homework assignments and to Marlene’s disappointment, after-lunch naptime was completely out of the question; the free time allotted to them in their timetables was spent studying. Trying to stay on top of their piling homework was a struggle, and felt much like panicked last-minute cramming for an exam – only now that was on a daily basis.  A lot of their teachers seemed to feel that the textbooks alone weren’t enough and recommended books for auxiliary reading, resulting in frequent library visits. Also non-verbal spells had come to stay, and were included in the curriculum for Charms and Transfiguration as well, on top of Defence.

It was a definite step up from their previous years and the workload had increased significantly. Still, Lily couldn’t help but feel exhilarated; even though it was hard and more than a little overwhelming, she fully embraced the challenge.

The Gryffindor boys weren’t faring much better than the girls. James found the mountain of homework a pain in the arse and it didn’t help that he now needed to find a precarious balance between his schoolwork and his new responsibilities as the captain of the Quidditch team. He had always loved the sport, it had been a great way to blow off some steam, but all of a sudden it dawned to him that now he could no longer just play for fun. If they wanted to win – and James loved winning – he would have to step up and be a _leader_. He would have to start taking it more seriously, go over strategies, keep a close eye on the other teams, make sure that all his players got along and worked well together. So even though they were only a few days into the term, James was convinced that sixth year would be troublesome.

Peter was in the depths of despair already after their first lessons and had squeaked in a voice verging on panic how he hadn’t understood a third of what McGonagall had been saying despite Transfiguration being one of his best subjects. Remus was grumbling and looked even paler than usual and spent hours practising non-verbal spells in their dormitory.

Only Sirius appeared unconcerned, but even he was starting to realise to his displeasure that talent and natural charm only went so far. He had never put much effort in his schoolwork, but had still managed to top most of his classes. Now he very quickly realised that while he still might breeze through the N.E.W.T. lessons without picking up the textbook, he would actually have to _work_ if he wanted grades better than Acceptable.

All in all, their sixth year at Hogwarts was proving to be a very different experience from their previous years.

 

* * *

 

 

It was Saturday afternoon, and the Gryffindor girls minus Bethany were all cooped up in their room. Lily absent-mindedly petted Augustus who was curled up in a ball. Then, she glanced around the room and saw Mary frowning at her parchment, Marlene chewing at the end of her quill in despair and Gwen muttering under her breath as she took notes from the textbook.

Lily closed her book and tossed it aside and hopped up from her bed.

“We’re going out,” she declared. All the eyes in the room snapped to her.

“We’re doing what now?” Marlene asked, incredulous.

“We’re going out,” Lily repeated matter-of-factly. “We’re stuck in our dorm doing schoolwork on a Saturday afternoon, and you guys all look bloody miserable. So it’s time for a break. The homework will wait until the evening or tomorrow.”

“Well, if Lily is saying it’s time to take a break, I guess it’s time to take a break,” Gwen shrugged. She stood up and rolled her shoulders.

Ten minutes later, the four girls were strolling across the grounds to their favourite spot at the side of the Lake. It was not one of those warm and sunny early autumn days. It was overcast, the clouds carrying a promise of rain, and the wind that made their cloaks flutter was cool. None of them seemed to mind, though, the fresh air had perked them all up considerably. When they sat down on the grass, the tension had already left their shoulders, the frowns and wrinkles disappeared from their foreheads. They looked over the lake, enjoying the companionable silence. Lily threw her head back, looked up at the clouds and smiled.

“I need to get back on the broomstick,” Gwen sighed. “Potter had better hold the tryouts soon. I’m going bonkers without Quidditch.”

“Don’t we know it,” Marlene retorted, rolling her eyes.

“We’ve only had two days of school and I already feel so overwhelmed,” Mary moaned, hugging her knees to her chest.

“I know,” Marlene lamented. “There’s so much work, I think they’re trying to drive us mad.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Just for the heck of it I suppose.”

“I think the non-verbal spells are going be the death of me,” Gwen groaned.

“Me, too,” Marlene echoed, for once agreeing with her friend.

“Yeah they seem to be very difficult to cast,” Lily chimed in.

“Says the witch who actually succeeded in casting them,” Marlene complained.

“Only twice,” Lily countered. “I failed more times than I succeeded.”

“But you succeeded nonetheless,” Gwen insisted. “That’s well done, Lily.”

“Still, they’re certainly pushing us very hard this year,” Lily mused.

“Yes they are, and you’re totally enjoying it,” Gwen accused, rolling her eyes.

“Well…”

“Eh, we all know about Lily’s competitive streak,” Marlene shook her head. “Of course she’s loving this torture.”

“That reminds me, it’s been quite a while since our last poker game.”

“ _No_ , Lily.”

“Nuh uh, we’re not playing with you.”

“Come on, where’s that famous Gryffindor courage?” Lily pouted.

“It’s not cowardice, it’s about picking your battles,” Gwen replied sagely.

“Yeah and we have no desire for getting our arses kicked by you,” Marlene added. “Again.”

“And how would you know I get the winning hand when the cards had not even been dealt?”

“Because you always win in the end, Lily.”

“For a little miss prefect, you’re a terrific liar.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment.”

“Of course that was a compliment,” Marlene grinned.

And like that, the girls spent most of their afternoon outside, enjoying the fresh air, each other’s company, and the idle talk. The break was welcome and saved the girls from reaching their wits’ end.

In the end, the promise of the dark clouds held through, and the pouring rain drove the four giggling girls back into the castle. By then it was time for dinner so they walked into the Great Hall, their cloaks and hair damp, and took a seat at the Gryffindor table. Their dormmate Bethany was already there, and gaped at the sight of them.

“You look like you could use some hot soup,” she told them, and ladled some tomato soup into bowls.

Lily accepted the offered food gratefully.

“Cheers.”

“A drying charm might also be a good idea,” she offered.

“It’s just a little rain,” Marlene waved her hand dismissively. “It’ll dry.”

“Alright,” Bethany agreed. “How was your afternoon?”

“It was great. The break from studying was very welcome.”

“I told you so,” Lily grinned, and tasted the soup.

“How was your afternoon?” Gwen asked as Marlene and Mary started to pile food on their plates.

“Oh, I had a nice chat with Florence and Vickie,” Bethany answered. Lily looked over to the Ravenclaw table to steal a glance of Betty’s friends, but instead her eyes met Connor Matheson, the Head Boy, who gave her a solemn nod.

“I did hear something interesting from Florence, though,” Bethany chirped in that tone of hers that promised gossip. Lily’s gaze snapped back to her dormmate.

“Oh?”

“Apparently, Cynthia Jones asked Benjy Fenwick out. And Benjy turned her down!”

“Why?” Gwen wondered. “Has he _seen_ her legs? I mean, they’re very hard to miss since they seem to be going for miles.”

“You’re one to talk,” Marlene muttered into her mashed potatoes.

“Please, Marls, I’d kill to have your tits,” Gwen retorted.

“Seconded,” Lily said, reaching for her goblet, “though I really wish we weren’t discussing anyone’s tits over dinner.”

“What I want to know is how the Ravenclaws knew gossip regarding Gryffindor students before we did.” Gwen pursed her lips ponderously.

“Cynthia must have told Florence herself,” Lily shrugged as she helped herself to some quiche.

“I guess. They’re both prefects so they could be close.”

“Oh yes, the secret sisterhood of prefects,” Lily quipped dryly. “I guess now is as good time as any to confess that Adeleine Blastock is actually my best friend.”

Marlene almost choked on her pumpkin juice. Mary giggled while Gwen’s eyes instinctively flitted towards the Slytherin table at the opposite side of the room.

“Very funny, Lily,” Marlene grumbled as soon as she had recovered.

“Aren’t you friends with Emmeline Vance, though?” Betty asked Lily.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Well, there’s the great secret then,” Gwen smirked. “This sisterhood of prefects only exists between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor.”

“What about Hufflepuff?” Mary asked.

“Hufflepuff doesn’t count,” Marlene replied. “They’re friends with everyone, there’s no secret in _that_.”

“That’s a fair point,” Mary conceded with a smile.

“Woah, Evans. Try to drown yourself in the lake or something?”

The girls’ heads swivelled to glare at the four boys who had just appeared in the Great Hall.

Lily rolled her eyes but didn’t have time to retort before her friends jumped in.

“Funny, Black,” Gwen drawled coolly. ”You have me in stitches.”

“Why the hell are you singling Lily out anyway when all four of us were rained on?” Marlene demanded with an arched brow and a bite in her voice.

“Because he’s a twat,” James huffed, levelling his friend with an annoyed stare.

“Ignore him,” Remus shrugged, taking a seat next to Mary. “That’s what we do.”

James plopped down to the free spot on Lily’s right.

Sirius finally sat down at the opposite side of the table next to Betty, and glowered at Lily and James.

The bespectacled young wizard paid him no heed.

“Pass me the potatoes?” he asked conversationally, turning to Lily.

She looked at him and her lips twitched as she folded her arms across her chest.

“I don’t think I heard the _magic_ word.”

“Please?” James grinned.

“Here you go.” Lily reached for the bowl of potatoes and then set it on the table before the marauder.

“Cheers.”

“So what were you talking about before the unfortunate interruption?” Remus asked.

“The secret sisterhood of prefects,” Gwen smirked.

Remus’ brow quirked and he turned to Lily.

“Why wasn’t I informed that we have a secret society?”

“Because it’s a _sisterhood_ , Remus,” Lily replied with a sweet smile. “We’d love to have you, but rules are rules.”

“Also,” Bethany chirped, sensing her opportunity to further spread her gossip, “we were talking about how Cynthia Jones asked Benjy Fenwick out.”

“Forward. I like women who aren’t afraid of taking the initiative,” James commented, his hazel eyes laughing.

“Benjy declined, though,” Betty continued.

“What?” Sirius gaped. “Why? That bird has a great pair of legs on her – “

Marlene’s fork dropped. It made such a loud clatter that Peter jumped in surprise.

“Enough about the bloody legs already!” the blonde witch snapped.

Sirius stared at her.

“Bloody hell, McKinnon, what’s got your knickers in a knot?”

“Nothing,” she retorted, scowling at her plate.

Sirius opened his mouth to respond but only an angry hiss escaped his lips when Gwen promptly stomped on his toes to silence him.

Peter saw the chance to change the subject into something more neutral than Cynthia Jones’ legs.

“Is anyone else having trouble with the non-verbal spells?” he piped up, and then sighed in relief when murmurs of agreement broke out following his question. Peter was glad that he had managed to restore the peace; conflicts made him uncomfortable.

 

* * *

 

”So did you finally decide when you want to hold the Quidditch tryouts?” Sirius asked his friend as the two exited the kitchens later that evening, their bellies full and their mood light and cheerful.

“Sometime next week I think. Saturday, probably, if the pitch isn’t booked.”

“Saturday sounds good. It’ll be big day for you, Captain! Do you want me to tag along? Moral support, y’know?”

“I think I’ll be fine, Padfoot,” James snorted, rolling his eyes. “What’s that basket for, anyway? Didn’t you eat enough already?”

“This? I got a slice of treacle tart and some hot chocolate. It’s for Moony. He was looking a bit pale so I figured a little pick-me-up might do him good.”

“Good thinking, Padfoot.” James grinned.  “Moony’ll appreciate it. He’s probably just stressed, only a few days left before, you know…”

“Wednesday, yeah?”

James nodded.

“Need to remind Peter,” Sirius muttered to himself.

“Alright,” James spoke briskly.  “We still have some time before curfew, but better be safe, right?”

Sirius grinned. James stopped walking and fished a blank piece of parchment from his sleeve, then pulled out his wand.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

Thin lines of ink appeared on the spot his wand touched, spreading out across the parchment to form a map. Sirius peered at it over his friend’s shoulder.

“Looks like our way’s clear,” James decided after a quick glance.

“Ooh look who’s skulking about in the dungeons!” Sirius cackled gleefully and jabbed at a moving dot labelled _Severus Snape_. “Fancy a detour?”

James felt his lips twitch into an answering grin, when suddenly he recalled the stricken expression that had flashed on Lily Evans’ face at the Hogsmeade platform four days ago. Even the memory of it made his gut twist painfully, and the beginnings of his cheerful smile turned into a frown.

“Nah,” he replied after a moment, both his voice and his expression glum. “I’ll pass. You can go if you want to.”

Sirius’ eyebrow rose and he gave his friend a long stare.

“Since when have you ever _passed_ on the opportunity to hex Snivellus?” he demanded incredulously.

“Since I realised that hexing him hurt other people,” James retorted. He wiped the map clean and shoved it back into his sleeve.

“Hurt Evans, you mean,” Sirius spat, his voice sharp.

James stayed silent. His shoulders were tense and he crossed his arms, glaring at his friend out of the corner of his eye.

“Do you really think she’s gonna give a crap anymore? Evans and Snape are over.”

“Yeah, because of what happened the last time we decided to have fun at Snape’s expense!”

“No, you stubborn git,” Sirius hissed, gritting his teeth. “Because Evans finally realised what a pathetic little creep Snivellus is!”

James didn’t reply.

Sirius scowled at him and took in his dark expression, the grim line of his lips, the clench of his jaw, the stiffness of his neck, his balled fists.

“Fine.” Sirius finally relented with a sigh. He was clearly not going to win this battle; there was no convincing James, pig-headed as he was.

“We’ll leave Snivellus alone.”

 

* * *

 

 

On Monday evening, as he and Lily were walking down the corridors and staircases heading to a prefect meeting, Remus broke the companionable silence by clearing his throat.

“I’m not sure if I should tell you this,” he began, his tone slightly hesitant, “but since I was not sworn to secrecy and it involves you, I thought you deserved to know.”

Lily quirked her brow and her lips twitched.

“Well you have to tell me now, after just saying all that to spark my intrigue.”

“James has decided to give up on asking you out, since you hate him so much.”

Lily frowned. Remus’ statement left her with mixed feelings. While she was mostly relieved, a part of her felt slightly disappointed. James Potter’s obvious interest in her had been unwanted, but nonetheless quite flattering.

There was, however, one great flaw in his logic, which she felt obligated to point out.

“I don’t hate Potter,” she told Remus. “Never did. Well… Okay, maybe for a while in second year because he kept pranking me on a weekly basis, but it’s not like I never retaliated…”

“Yeah well, I suppose we can all be excused for how we used to behave when we were twelve,” Remus replied, smiling benignly.

“I’m not a great fan of Potter, I confess,” Lily said. “But ‘hate’ is too strong a word. If anything, I hate the way he _behaves_ sometimes, you know?”

Remus hummed in agreement.

“I mean he can be a right bully, and he is just so sickeningly _obnoxious_ sometimes… But it’s not like that’s all there is to him. He is also quite brilliant in most of our classes, and he can be very funny, too.” Lily paused, then glanced at Remus. “I trust you not to relay this to him, though. He’d only get his hopes up.”

“He probably would.” Remus agreed.

“Well, I suppose it’s a good thing he’s giving up,” Lily sighed, a light frown still creasing her brow. “I didn’t enjoy always having to reject him.”

“Well, I’m sure you enjoyed it _some_ of the time,” Remus said with a sly grin. “I remember some very snarky come-backs, I’m sure you put a lot of thought into them.”

“Yeah… But he would always just grin and act like he didn’t care, but I think he must have. Rejection always hurts.”

“So why didn’t you just go out with him?”

Lily pursed her lip and absent-mindedly ran her hand through her dark red hair.

“He’s not bad-looking,” she started ponderously. “He’s funny and rather brilliant and he has his own kind of charm. _But_ like I said, he can also be annoying and mean and just obnoxious. The good I can see in him doesn’t cancel the bad aspects of his behaviour. And I know going out on a date doesn’t mean you’re committing in a relationship but I just felt… I don’t know, that if I agreed to go on just one date with him because I felt sorry for him or to get him off my back, it wouldn’t be fair to him. Rejection hurts, but it’s infinitely better than false hope or pity.”

“I’m a bit surprised you’ve put so much thought in this whole matter,” Remus confessed quietly.

“If they’re serious in asking me out, they deserve to be taken seriously,” Lily shrugged.

James had been smirking in that crooked manner of his each time he had asked her out. He had tried to be cool, always tried to radiate confidence, charisma and casualness. But Lily could tell that he was being serious, that he really wanted to take her out on a date. She had spotted the disappointed flicker in his hazel eyes he had tried to hide. She had noticed that after each time she had turned down his offer, it had taken him longer and longer to ask her out again. There were times her heart went out to him, but still she couldn’t really bring herself to _like_ him.

“To be frank, out of you four, it’s Sirius that I like the least. Potter might get on my nerves from time to time, but at least he likes me.”

Remus grimaced. Sirius was neutral towards Lily on a good day, horribly rude on a bad one.

“I’ve tried telling him several times that you’re not so bad but he refuses to listen.”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”

“I don’t think all his dislike stems from you, though. I think in part it’s ‘cause he’s jealous.”

“Jealous?” Lily echoed, incredulous. “Of _me_?”

Remus nodded. “Of all the attention James gives you,” he clarified. “I think he feels threatened, like he’s afraid that if you and James ever did get together, he’d be cast aside.”

Lily stared at Remus, her bright green eyes sceptical.

“That may well be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”

“Our fears never are rational,” Remus said mildly, and shrugged.

The two rounded the corner. The door of the empty classroom assigned for the prefect meetings was already open, and Lily and Remus walked right in. They seemed to be rather early, only a few prefects were in attendance. The Slytherins in their year gave the two of them a long stare, and Avery sneered while Adeleine Blastock sniffed. Lily promptly ignored the both of them, and instead walked over to the front of the room to greet the Head Girl.

“Alice, you should have warned me that N.E.W.T. lessons would be the death of me,” she grumbled to her friend, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Suck it up and persevere,” Alice laughed. “Seventh year is going to be even worse.”

“Oh joy,” Lily rolled her eyes. “Thanks for the empathy.”

“I’d be more empathetic if I actually believed the N.E.W.T. lessons to be the death of you.”

“She’s right,” the Head Boy, Connor Matheson chimed in. “You’ll be fine, Lily. More than fine, I imagine. You really are a brilliant witch, enough so to put some of my housemates to shame.”

The compliment was surprising but nonetheless welcome, so Lily flashed the Ravenclaw a delighted smile.

“Thank you, Connor.”

The Head Boy returned the smile.

“Go take a seat,” he suggested. “We’re starting soon.”

Lily nodded and went back to Remus. The room had filled out while she had been chatting with the Head students. She gave a small wave to Emmeline Vance at the other side of the room.

A few more prefects filed into the room and then Connor called the meeting to order.

“The first order of business,” Alice said briskly, “are the patrol schedules from this week onwards. I have a list here I’m going to hand out. Please fill out the times and dates you are unavailable for patrols, so Connor and I can work out the schedule.”

“Wednesday’s not good,” Lily muttered to Remus when the list reached them. “I have a Slug Club meeting.”

“Alright,” the marauder replied with a curt nod, filling out their information on the parchment. He glanced at the witch out of the corner of his eye.

“What’s put you in such a good mood, anyway?” he asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

“Connor Matheson of all people,” Lily grinned. “He told me I put some Ravenclaws to shame.”

“Well… you do,” Remus commented, raising his eyebrow.

“I know, but it was awfully nice of him to say it.”

Remus laughed and passed the list forward. Then, both still smirking, the two Gryffindors quieted down and turned their focus back onto the meeting.

 

* * *

 

 

It was Tuesday evening, and Lily was feeling determined though exhausted. Tuesdays and Thursdays were the longest days on her schedule, and today had been a full day of classes; from nine to four. Lily had already learned to utilise her free periods for studying, but as she had had none today it meant that all of her homework was still waiting.

So after a quick dinner, she had rushed to hole up in the library together with Mary in order to get some studying done. She wanted to get started on her homework as early as she could, else it would pile up until she’d be crushed under the mountain of work she should have got done yesterday. Marlene was already discovering that her earlier strategy of postponing things until she absolutely had to tackle them was not working out too well for her.

In her mind, Lily equated N.E.W.T. level work to the hydras of Greek mythology. Trying to stay on top of her classes was much like fighting one – any time she finished and turned in one essay, two more would be assigned.

It hadn’t been even a full week yet and Marlene was already convinced she would die of overexertion, while Gwen had taken to swearing in Welsh. Mary was no stranger to hard work, and seemed to have resigned to her fate.

Lily made the final revisions to her translation for Ancient Runes and then leaned back in her chair and stretched. She rolled her shoulders and glanced at Mary. The brunette witch across the table was worrying her lip while reading _Advanced Potions_. Lily smiled a little and then looked at her notes. They had Defence again tomorrow, she should probably read up on curses.

“Going to get a book,” she told Mary and then got up and headed towards the section with the Defence Against the Dark Arts books.

Walking felt wonderful after spending two hours perched on the hard wood of her chair. Lily could barely feel her arse. Along with the cosy atmosphere, the plush and comfortable armchairs were one big reason why she preferred to study in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Finally Lily found the right row and slipped between the shelves. She ran her fingers along the leather spines as she slowly walked, her head tilted to the side so she could better read the titles.

“Curses, curses...” she muttered under her breath, skimming over the books. “A-ha!”

She pulled _A Compendium of Common Curses and Their Counter-Actions_ off the shelf and flipped it over, about to read the back cover, when a familiar voice called her name.

Lily’s heart plummeted all the way to the pit of her stomach and her shoulders tensed. Hugging the book close to her chest, she slowly turned around to face the black-haired, hook-nosed boy.

 


	4. Friends And Foes

* * *

_You don't have to say you’re sorry_  
_Save your sympathy_  
_With a friend like you_  
_I don't need an enemy_

**\- Simple Plan:** Last One Standing

* * *

 

 

Lily stared at the pale boy, her stomach heavy and twisting into knots.

“What do you want?” she asked, her eyes hard and guarded.

“We need to talk,” the boy implored.

“Do we?” Lily countered. “I think we’ve already said all there is to say.”

“Lily, please.”

“Then talk,” she relented, her voice clipped and tight.

“I’m sorry about last year. You know I didn’t mean for it to happen!”

“You’ve told me all this before.”

“But Lily, you have to forgive me! I will do anything –”

“First,” she cut in, her green eyes blazing, “I don’t _have to_ do anything. Second, if this is about you calling me a mudblood –”

The sallow boy flinched.

“– then I’ve already forgiven you.”

He gaped at her, hope starting to glimmer in his dark eyes.

“So then,” he said, his voice eager, “we can go back to how we used to be.”

“No,” Lily spoke, unyielding. “We can never go back. My forgiveness does not change anything, Severus. This is about more than you insulting me to my face.”

The boy’s shoulders sagged. His face had grown even paler and bore a stricken expression.

“You chose your path long ago,” she told him firmly. “And I will never be able to forgive you for becoming a Death Eater.”

And with that, Lily Evans whirled around and walked away.

 

* * *

 

James stifled a yawn and rubbed his eyes but they remained bleary.  

“You’ve got dirt on your cheek,” Marlene McKinnon informed him helpfully from across the table littered with compost and flowerpots.

James grunted. He had chosen to sit with the girls today, since Peter wasn’t taking Herbology, Remus was still indisposed after last night’s full moon, and Sirius was skipping the lesson, as James had been unable to drag his snoring arse out of the bed.

“Are…Are you all right?” Mary MacDonald asked in a soft voice, worry shining in her eyes.

“You do look a bit peaky,” Marlene agreed.

“I’m fine,” he told the girls, cracking another yawn. “Didn’t really get much sleep last night.”

“Bad dreams keep you up?” Marlene snorted.

“Nah, there was just a bit of marauding about,” he lied easily, ruffling his hair.

“Ah, I suppose that also accounts for Sirius’ and Remus’ absence?” Marlene guessed.

“Yup. We had an exploding snap tournament and the stakes were high. Kept us up well into the wee hours.”

“Sounds fun.” Marlene grinned.

“It was,” James agreed. “Until Remus had to go to the Hospital Wing. He lost, and whatever was in the drink Sirius mixed for him as a punishment didn’t agree with him. I almost overslept this morning so I didn’t have the time to check up on him, but he must still be there since he didn’t come to the lesson.”

“Poor Remus,” Mary sighed.

“What about Sirius, then?” Marlene asked.

“He was finally defeated by Peter, so he got his just desserts. I tried to wake him up before I left the dorm but he refused to budge.”

“His loss.” Marlene shrugged.

James nodded. He felt a bit more awake now thanks to the conversation, and he was proud of himself. Tired as he was, he had been able to come up with such a good story on the spot to explain away his friends’ absence. None of the girls looked the least bit suspicious. Not even Lily.

James allowed his gaze to wander across the table where Lily was listlessly jabbing at the dirt in her pot. He suddenly realised with a jolt that she hadn’t been taking part in the conversation at all; then he noticed the downward turn of her lips. James frowned. Now that he thought about it, Lily had been acting weird yesterday, too. He briefly wondered what could have happened, and he almost wanted to ask her.

He turned to give Marlene a pointed look – one eyebrow raised and all – but she silently shook her head.

His jaw clenched, he fumbled with the pot, tossing in handfuls of dirt before handing it over to Marlene, who forcefully shoved the struggling plant into the pot. On the other side of the table, Lily was swearing under her breath as she and Mary fought to plant their sapling together, wary of its venomous fangs.

Maybe it was for the better that Evans didn’t seem very approachable, James decided with a yawn. She still was a bit of a sore subject to him, and he really didn’t have the energy today to deal with her or the rampant feelings he was trying his hardest to smother. It wasn’t just that he was physically exhausted, even though running around all night long in his animagus form always took its toll. He felt completely drained mentally as well. He had seen Remus transform a dozen times by now, but the gruelling ordeal never became any easier to witness. It made him angry that someone as kind and good as Remus had such a cross to bear.

After the lesson, James made his way to the castle and the Gryffindor Tower alone. He had a free period before lunch, and weighed the pros and cons of a nap in his mind, as he shuffled through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor Common Room. But then, he noticed Gwen Douglas reading a magazine on the sofa, and instead of his inviting bed up in the dormitory, he made his way to her.

“ _Quidditch Quarterly_?”

Gwen looked up.

“Yeah, the new issue. Have you read it?” she asked.

“I’ve leafed through,” James grunted as he sunk into the sofa next to her. “Haven’t had the time yet to read it properly. But that reminds me; I’m holding the tryouts this Saturday, at noon. I want the whole team to be there.”

“Aye, aye, cap’n,” she replied dutifully. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Good.” James nodded and flashed her a quick, weary smile.

“I hear Glen Abbott was made captain of the Hufflepuff team, that was a bit surprising.”

“I don’t know. I mean, I suppose he is younger than the other captains, being a fifth year student. But he’s got a good head on his shoulders.”

“True,” Gwen agreed. “And one should never underestimate Hufflepuffs.”

“Learned that lesson the hard way,” James grumbled, still bitter over a match lost three years ago.

“I hope we’ll be able to find a Chaser that is a good fit with you and me,” Gwen said.

“Me too, but what we really need is a stellar Seeker.” James frowned. “Slytherin has Black and he has a good eye for the game. And Ravenclaw’s got Watson.”

“That girl has got some wicked moves on her.” Gwen shook her head.

“She has an exceptional control of the broom,” James agreed. “And we need someone who can keep up with her, and Black.”

Gwen patted his shoulder.

“Good luck.”

“I don’t need luck,” James countered, a grin touching his lips. “I need talent.”

“True, but even so a little luck won’t hurt,” Gwen smirked. “By the way, you have dirt on your cheek.”

James laughed.

 

* * *

 

 

Betty had scarcely rushed off to her Astronomy lesson, when Marlene shook the peaceful Friday night in the Gryffindor girls’ dormitory by hopping off her bed and making a big announcement.

“Ladies! I suggest that tonight, we will engage in a game of Truth or Dare!”

Marlene’s eyes were sparkling with mischief and enthusiasm, and her wide grin filled Lily with apprehension.

Gwen groaned.

“Truth or Dare? _Really_ , Marlene? What are we, twelve?”

“Well, maybe more like Truth or Truth,” Marlene said. “Anyway! It may sound lame, but fear not ladies, I happen to have something that will put a real _spin_ on things.”

Smirking victoriously, Marlene pulled a small vial out of her pocket.

Mary was confused and Gwen’s stare was blank, but Lily let out a small gasp.

“Marlene,” she said slowly, trying to keep her voice calm. “Please don’t tell me that is what I think it is.”

The blonde witch nodded eagerly, and Lily couldn’t hold back her groan.

“What is it?” Gwen asked, instantly curious.

“Illegal, that’s what it is,” Lily muttered, obviously exasperated with her friend. “Where did you even get that? It was on the curriculum just this week but you’re not taking advanced potions!”

“I have my sources.” Marlene grinned.

“Veritaserum,” Mary gasped in sudden realisation, her mouth hanging open.

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Gwen asked, sceptical.

“Yup, it was nicked from Lily’s cauldron.”

Lily’s eyes narrowed and her lips twisted into an indignant pout.

Gwen was slowly starting to mirror Marlene’s wide, wicked grin.

“You have my attention,” she told her.

Mary looked back at forth between the two smirking girls, before letting out a small laugh.

“I’m in! Let’s play Truth, The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth.”

“Well done, Mary, that’s a lot better name that ‘Truth or Truth’,” Gwen giggled as Marlene rolled her eyes.

Three heads turned to stare at a certain, scowling red-haired prefect.

“Come on, Lily,” Marlene coaxed.

“You know you want to,” Gwen added.

Mary was smiling encouragingly at her.

Lily fought to keep her face stern, but the corners of her lips had begun to twitch.

Soon enough, everyone was sitting on Marlene’s bed, holding a glass of water. Everyone had unanimously agreed that Lily was the most trustworthy out of them, so it was she who carefully measured two drops of the seemingly unassuming, clear, odourless potion into each glass.

“On the count of three,” Lily murmured as she picked up her own glass. “One…Two…Three.”

Simultaneously all four witches raised the glasses to their lips and downed the drinks in one quick gulp, as if the potent truth serum was no more than a shot of firewhisky.

Immediately, Lily felt a pleasant haze bubbling in her mind, like her head had been securely wrapped in a thick warm quilt. She felt relaxed, and smiled as she looked at her friends who seemed to be similarly affected.

“Okay,” Marlene said. “Let’s try and see if this works. Gwen, what colour are your knickers?”

“Black.”

Marlene leaned over, pulled at the waistband of Gwen’s pyjama bottoms, and peered in, ignoring the indignant “ _Oi!”_

“Yup,” she declared, “black it is.”

“I would have shown you if you’d asked,” Gwen muttered, glaring at Marlene.

“All right, let’s get started then,” Lily said, nipping the argument in the bud. “Mary, do you want to start?”

“Umm… Okay, what is the worst flavour you’ve ever got from Bertie Bott’s every flavour Beans?”

“Eurgh,” Lily grimaced. “Sea buckthorn berry.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Gwen frowned. “Mine was rotten egg. Haven’t really eaten Bertie Bott’s since.”

“It would sound bad if you had ever tasted sea buckthorn,” Lily quipped.

“I got blood once, that was weird,” Marlene said. “But the very worst for me was soap.”

“Soap?”

“Ugh.”

“My turn,” Marlene said. “Mary, what would you do if you had an invisibility cloak for a day?”

Mary bit her lip and her cheeks flushed.

“I would probably spy on people,” she admitted. “Also I’m kind of curious to see what other House’s common rooms look like, so I would try to sneak in.”

“Go, Mary!” Gwen laughed.

“Ask away then.”

“Eh, I don’t really have any particular question so I’m just going with the classic one, sorry Lily. Marauders, shag, marry, kill?”

“Kill Sirius,” Lily replied instantly. “And marry Remus. So that leaves me with James to shag.”

“No love for Peter?” Gwen teased.

“Peter is a sweetheart, but James is definitely more attractive out of the two. At least as long as he keeps his mouth shut. Although… I guess I could gag him.”

“Lily!”

“You _could_ gag him,” Marlene snickered. “I mean this is James, he would probably be all up for being tied down to the bed if that meant he could shag you.”

“All right, that’s quite enough theorising on that front,” Lily decided, waving away the unwanted mental image. “Gwen, from now on, if you could only follow one Quidditch league, which one would it be?”

“Oh god,” Gwen wailed. “You’re evil. I think I have to go with the nationals, as entertaining as the world cup is, I love Harpies too much to give them up.”

“You’re such a fan.”

“They’re women and they’re Welsh, what’s not to love?” Gwen shrugged. “All right, since you opened the door for hard questions… Lily, I’m sorry to bring this up but I am curious. Was there ever anything between you and Snape?”

Thankfully, the relaxation coaxed by the potion muffled the instinctive emotional responses that usually stirred whenever Snape was brought up. Lily was able to remain calm, and a small crease appeared on her forehead.

“No,” she answered. “There never was anything between us – though there was a time I thought there could be. It was before fifth year and we spent most of the summer together, and we just felt so comfortable in each other’s company that for a while I kept entertaining the idea… But then school started and he went back to his friends. Nothing really was quite the same after that.”

“Awww.”

“For the record, I’m glad things never got to that point between you two.”

“I know, Marlene. You never liked Sev – Snape. But actually that made me think of a question for you! If you had to date any of the Slytherins in our year, who would it be?”

“Nice one, Lily!” Gwen laughed. “Ooh, think of all the lovely prospects, like Avery!”

“Gah!” Marlene was making a face. “Avery is a horrid person, Snape is a slime-ball. Sedgewick is bloody scary and never really even talks…Well I guess I’ll have to go with Curtis Greengrass, he’s an uptight git, but out of the bad choices…”

“Greengrass at least has brains,” Lily hummed.

“And the Quidditch muscles,” Gwen pointed out.

“And he has exceptionally great hair,” Mary giggled.

“Right! Well then, Lily!”

“Why does everyone keep asking me?” she complained.

“Out of spite,” Gwen helpfully supplied, a grin playing on her lips. “Because you keep asking us such annoying questions.”

”Who was your first kiss?” Marlene asked, leaning forward in her enthusiasm.

“Way to waste a question, Marlene,” Gwen complained beside her, “we all know it was Bertram Aubrey in fourth year.”

But Lily had blanched just a little, she had frozen still, because her first kiss had not been with Bertram, because she had never told anyone – even Mary – about her actual first kiss, because her first kiss had really been with –

“Marcus, at the end of third year,” Lily finally blurted out, her shoulders hunching in defeat.

Gwen had fallen silent mid-complaint, and Marlene’s jaw had dropped.

“Marcus?” the shocked blonde witch echoed after a moment of awkward silence. “ _My_ Marcus? You _kissed_ my _brother_?”

Lily nodded, avoiding Marlene’s eyes. The awkward silence continued, though the corners of Gwen’s lips kept twitching as she glanced back and forth between her two friends. Mary looked surprised at the revelation, but her kind brown eyes held no judgement.

“Ewwwww!” Marlene finally burst, “My best friend and my _brother_ , ewww! Why would you ever kiss Marcus?”

Lily shrugged.

“I had a crush on him,” she simply explained.

“On _Marcus_?”

“Marlene, your brother is quite popular,” Gwen supplied, coming to Lily’s aid.

Mary stayed silent, but nodded her assent.

“Oh, ewww, not you too!”

Lily burst into a fit of giggles. The laughter was contagious, and soon enough, all four girls were giggling, rolling on the floor and clutching their sides.

 

* * *

 

 

“Potter.”

“Evans!” his thin lips curled into a crooked smile. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’m just here to let you know that I would appreciate you refraining from any potion-stealing in the future.”

The smile flickered out and a carefully blank expression settled over Potter’s features.

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” the boy replied in a polite neutral tone.

Lily’s green eyes flashed.

“How thick do you think I am, Potter?”

“I don’t think you’re thick at all,” he hurriedly answered. “Actually, I think you’re exceedingly bright.”

“Well, good, I’m glad that we agree at least on that,” she retorted dryly. “See, Marlene as good as told me that the Veritaserum in her possession was nicked from _my_ cauldron. The thing is, though, that Marlene doesn’t even take Potions.”

James blinked at her.      

“And the person in the best position to steal a potion I had brewed would be one with whom I share a table. Now, Mary is too sweet to indulge in thievery. And while Remus wouldn’t necessarily be above such shenanigans, I think he has better sense than to give a legally controlled substance to _Marlene_ of all people. And that leaves me with you.”

She crossed her arms across her chest.

“That is some impressive reasoning there, Evans,” Potter replied amicably. “But I’m afraid I can neither confirm nor deny –”

“I _know_ it was you,” she cut in, pinning him down with her stare. “And I’m not mad or anything. I’m not here to yell at you, and I’m not going to run and tattle to all the teachers. I just want you to promise me that it won’t happen again.”

Potter studied her, his lips pursed. Lily could almost hear the cogs in his head turn.

“Well I can promise you,” he started carefully, “that if I ever discover the scoundrel who stole your potion I’ll be sure to pass your message along.”

Lily rolled her eyes. If he wanted to cling to his silly little charade, so be it.

“Fine,” she said, “thank you _ever_ so much for your co-operation.”

“Any time,” he grinned at her, completely unaffected by her biting sarcasm.

Lily turned away but then she paused and bit her lip.

She glanced back over her shoulder.

His laughing hazel eyes were still trained on her.

The words danced on the tip of her tongue, and she chose to voice them.

“Good luck.”

His eyebrows shot up, his head tilted to the side in confusion.

“For the Quidditch try-outs?” she clarified. “They’re today, aren’t they?”

“Oh yeah. Right. Thanks.” A sheepish look flashed in his eyes and his hand flew to his messy mop of hair.

“Just put a good team together,” she told him, her lips twitching. “I’m rather fond of winning, you know?”

“Fear not, Evans,” he smirked at her, his eyes glinting behind his glasses. “So am I.”

Lily flashed him a smile and walked away.

 

* * *

 

 

She signed the letter with _Love, Lily_ and then leaned back on her bed, twirling the quill in her hand as she read through what she had written once more. It was just a quick thing, informing her parents that she had got to school ok and recounting her first week back, but Lily was very particular about her proofreading ever since the Horrible Misspell of 1972.

With a soft _mrowr_ , Augustus jumped on her bed and walked over, curling right over the parchment she had been reading, and Lily crossed her arms across her chest and glared at the unconcerned feline.

“I was reading that, you know.”

“You’re talking to your cat again?” Marlene asked.

“All pet owners talk to their pets,” Lily told her friend. “Besides, he knew I was still reading the letter and he decided to park his furry little bum right on top of it regardless!”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Marlene snorted. “See, he’s a cat. He parked his furry little bum right on top of it _because_ you were reading it.”

Lily’s eyes narrowed.

“I suppose he would, the git,” Lily said. She picked up her cat and deposited him in her lap. Augustus gave an indignant meow but Lily ignored him and concentrated on her letter again.

She had almost managed to finish her reading, still twirling her quill while Augustus was lazily trying to swat at it, when Gwen burst into the dormitory.

“How did it go?” Marlene asked and Lily looked up from her letter.

“We got ourselves a Chaser and a Seeker,” she grinned.

“That’s brill,” Lily said dryly. “Care to give us any more details than that?”

“They’re both female and fourth years. Holly Willoughby and Kimberly Wu.”

“Willoughby?” Lily frowned. “Does that mean she’s – “

“Yup,” Gwen replied. “One of those muggleborn twins. She and Wu are friends, I think Willoughby wanted to try out and dragged Wu with her. And boy am I glad she did, because that girl has the makings of a great seeker!”

“That’s nice,” Lily smiles.

“It is. I can’t wait for the practices to start.”

“Hey, this also means you’re no longer the only girl on the team,” Marlene realised. “Congrats!”

“Thanks, I really wouldn’t want to turn out like Talkalot.”

“You know with Slytherins often going for the big and burly types, I’m surprised they even have Talkalot on the team, let alone as their captain.”

“Well brawn can only get you so far.”

“I fully agree that intelligence wins over brute strength, but if we’re talking about Talkalot, she has more brawn than she has brains.”

“Lily’s right, Talkalot is a troll.”

“Fine,” Gwen rolled her eyes. “Talkalot isn’t the brightest, but she’s not that stupid either, Marlene.”

“I wasn’t referring to her brains, I was talking about her face.”

“You are horrible!”

“Maybe, but you’re the one who’s laughing, Lily.”

“Touché,” Lily shook her head. “Now, as much as I’d love to stay and hear you bad mouthing Slytherins – “

“As if you weren’t participating in the badmouthing,” Marlene grumbled.

“– I have a letter to post. And Marls, I’m borrowing your owl.”

“Sure.”

Lily rolled up the parchment and scribbled the address on it, before stuffing the letter into her pocket. She petted Augustus on the head and then got up and left the room.

Mary was sitting in the Common Room and Lily gave her a small wave as she made a beeline for the portrait hole, but her friend was too busy frowning at her Transfiguration textbook to notice. Lily smiled to herself and stepped out to the corridor.

Lily didn’t see many people as she made her way to the Owlery, but since it was late Saturday afternoon, that was only to be expected. Most people would be hanging out in their Common Rooms or perhaps holing up in the library to get some studying done. Lily had some studying to do herself, a couple of translations for Ancient Runes due Monday, but she just couldn’t be arsed to get cracking on that today. She had better things to do. Like indulging herself. Writing a letter home. Devouring that potions book Slughorn had lent her out of his personal collection.

That book had made the Slug Club meeting on Wednesday evening worth attending. It had been a tedious affair, with Slughorn trying to catch up with everyone after the summer break. The only other Gryffindor there had been McLaggen, the pompous prick, with whom Lily wanted nothing to do with.

Normally, Lily would have chatted with Andrew Buchanan, a Ravenclaw boy who was in her year and a genius in Ancient Runes, or maybe Dorothy MacMillan from Hufflepuff. But that night, she hadn’t much felt like socialising, and it hadn’t improved her mood one bit that Slytherin’s very own Irene Selwyn hadn’t wasted any opportunity to toss disdainful glares into her direction. The food had been great, though Lily hadn’t been able to fully enjoy that either; she had been too busy mulling over how Snape had accosted her the day before.

How dare he? She had made perfectly clear that they were _done_. It had not been easy, but she had let go. Why couldn’t he do the same for her?

Frowning and deep in thought, Lily opened the door to the Owlery and walked straight into something solid.

“I’m sorry,” she said, taking a step back to find the Head Boy smiling at her.

“Hi, Lily,” he greeted her jovially.

“Hey Connor,” she said, returning his smile.

He stepped aside and motioned for Lily to step in. She nodded at him gratefully and walked into the circular, drafty room, her feet scuffing at the straw-covered floor, and turned to scan the perches for Marlene’s owl.

“Marvin, I have a letter for you to deliver,” she called out to the bird. Marvin ruffled his feathers but flew down, sitting still while Lily tied her letter to his foot.

“You have a handsome owl.”

Lily’s head whipped to look over her shoulder. She thought Connor would have left already, since he had been heading out when she had come barrelling in.

“He is handsome,” Lily agreed, “but he’s actually my friend’s.”

Connor walked over and fished an owl treat from his pocket. He offered it to Marvin who snatched it and then spread his wings and took off.

“Thanks, should have thought of bringing some treats myself,” Lily said, impressed by the generous gesture.

“No worries,” Connor said, “I have plenty.”

“Your owl must be delighted then.”

“He is, and well-fed,” Connor laughed.

“I have a cat,” Lily told him. “Easier to explain to the neighbours, you know.”

“Ah, right.” Connor nodded. “Because of the Muggles.”

“Yup.”

“Well, if you ever need to send a letter and can’t use your friend’s owl, you’re free to borrow mine.”

Lily blinked, taken aback by the offer.

“Thank you,” she smiled, “that’s very kind of you.”

“So it’s almost time for dinner, are you heading down to the Great Hall?”

“Yes,” Lily said. She had been planning to go back to her dorm, but now that Connor mentioned dinner, she was starting to feel a bit hungry.

“Me too.” Connor grinned. “We can walk down together then.”

“Sure,” Lily agreed.

“Ladies first,” he said courteously, gesturing at the door.

Lily shook her head, but couldn’t help the smile that touched her lips.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ah, Severus, there you are,” a silky voice spoke the moment he stepped into the Common Room.

Snape looked up, to see his friends lounging on the sleek green sofa and a pair of armchairs.

“What is it?” he asked, disquieted by their stares.

“We just heard something very disconcerting from Valerie Travers. She said she was in the library the other night and overheard you talking to a certain Gryffindor mudblood.”

Severus grew very still, his face becoming stone as he stared back at Rosier, Avery and Mulciber.

“We’re worried, Severus,” Avery spoke. “We thought you had outgrown that foolishness.”

“I have,” Snape said coldly.

“I wonder,” Rosier intoned, unconvinced.

“I’m not sure we can really believe you,” Mulciber spat.

“Not until you prove yourself, anyway,” Rosier smiled.

“Is that really necessary, Evan?”

The men turned to the girl who had spoken. Adeleine Blastock stood to the side and frowned at them, a silver and green Prefect’s badge gleaming on the front of her robes.

“I’m sure Severus has learned his lesson,” the girl continued. “He’ll steer clear from Evans from now on.”

“Yes,” Snape bit out tonelessly. “I won’t approach her again.”

“So you say,” Avery said. “We’re just asking you to show us.”

“We need to know where your loyalties lie,” Mulciber growled.

“With you,” Snape insisted, his dark eyes flashing.

“Good,” Rosier said, a cruel smirk playing on his lips. “Then you won’t mind proving that to us.”

Snape’s jaw clenched.

“This is not a good idea,” Adeleine scoffed. “That mudblood is the teachers’ pet. Everyone loves her. If you go through with this, you’ll get in trouble.”

“The only one in trouble will be you, if you don’t shut up,” Mulciber snarled, earning a quick glare from Rosier.

“Yeah, we don’t remember asking for your opinion,” Avery added. “And while you’re at it, you should stop defending the mudblood.”

“I’m _not_ ,” Adeleine hissed, her hands balling into fists. “I’m trying to look out for you guys!”

“I appreciate your input, love,” Rosier said, promptly ending the argument, “but this doesn’t concern you, Adeleine.”

She stared at them hard, her hands still clenched at her sides, but in the end she bowed her head and walked away from the young men.

“Now, Severus,” Avery purred, “here’s what we had in mind…”

 


	5. Fight Or Flight

* * *

_Where did I go wrong?_  
_I lost a friend_  
_Somewhere along_  
_In the bitterness_

-        **The Fray:** How To Save A Life

* * *

 

The flock of owls arrived, bringing the post like every morning, hooting softly and gliding on soft, soundless wings, swooping down to find the awaiting recipients. There were a lot of them, as always. Parents worried as they were wont to do, and wanted to keep in regular contact.

Lily set down her tea and scanned the crowd of birds, but could not see any sign of Marlene’s owl. He must have been still on his way, or waiting for the reply from Lily’s mother.

The mood in the great hall was glum, the students’ voices hushed, their faces pale and worried. It went beyond the typical Monday melancholy. Even the usually cheerful Hufflepuffs seemed dejected.

Lily spied the Head Girl, Alice Morgan, sitting next to a second year student, her arm gently wrapped around the small girl’s shaking shoulders.

“She’s crying,” Lily noted aloud, taken aback by the sight.

Bethany looked up and followed Lily’s gaze to the Hufflepuff table.

“I guess she was friends with Bonnie Ingram,” she said, heaving a small sigh. “Poor thing.”

“Bonnie Ingram?” Lily repeated with a frown.

“Didn’t you hear? She left the school last night. Her parents pulled her out.”

“Because of the attack yesterday?” Mary asked in a soft voice.

Lily glanced down the table where Marcus McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick were sitting with their heads bent together, reading the morning’s _Prophet_. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from the front page and its grim headline, reporting there had been an attack in Kent yesterday afternoon that had claimed three lives. _Death Eater involvement suspected_ , the bold print read.

“Yes.” Bethany glanced around and then continued, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Bonnie’s older sister Colleen worked in the store they attacked.”

Mary gasped. “Oh god, is she…?”

Bethany shook her head, the movement small, tight, and full of sorrow.

“That’s terrible,” Gwen breathed. Her brow was creased and Lily guessed she was thinking of her Muggle mother back in Wales, wishing she was safe.

Mary turned her head. Her expression was forlorn, reflecting the concern and uncertainty Lily was all too familiar with. It weighed heavily on her chest even now, it shone in her green eyes as she shared a long look with Mary. They did not need to say anything, they could guess well enough what the other was thinking about – what their standing would be as two Muggleborn witches in a world that was torn by blood politics, whether the war would keep getting worse… If two years from now, somewhere out there, it’d be one of them dying at the Death Eater’s hands instead of poor Colleen Ingram.

Lily stared down at her plate of toast and scrambled eggs. Her stomach lurched, the heavy knot in her gut tightening. She pushed the plate away and leaned back in her seat, gazing up at the dark clouds slowly rolling across the charmed ceiling.

She hated it, the atmosphere of fear and doubt. The attacks and the disappearances, the violence and the death. These were not things she wanted to read about.

She was a sixteen year old girl. She should not have to worry about a group of mad extremists that wanted people like her dead.

But she did, every day.

It did not always steal her sleep or appetite, it did not always cripple her and make her insides twist in cold resignation. It did not always surface and fill her with hopelessness and insecurity.

But it was there, _always_ there, at the back of her mind, biding its time.

 

* * *

 

 

Steady rain rhythmically drummed against the castle windows, and the world outside was grey and gloomy although it was barely midday. The sixth year boys’ dormitory up in Gryffindor tower was quiet even though it housed all four Marauders inside. The hushed lull of the room was only punctuated by the scratching of a quill, rustling of paper and parchment and the occasional grunt, sigh or puff.

Sirius lounged on his bed, leafing through his Muggle Studies textbook and lazily copying down a line every now and then. He had been putting off writing his essay  for as long as he could, but as it was due in three or so hours, he had finally decided to get cracking.

Peter was sprawled on the floor, surrounded by sheets of parchment and nervously chewing on his quill as he hastily copied Remus’ and James’ notes of their earlier Transfiguration lesson.

Remus sat in the middle of his bed, frowning in concentration as he tried to perform the Bird Conjuring Charm McGonagall had introduced them to just that morning. His cheeks were puffed and face reddening as he struggled with the non-verbal casting.

James occupied his own bed, comfily propped up by a pile of pillows including one he’d borrowed from Peter. A heavy book was propped open in his lap and his hazel eyes quickly skimmed through the lines, absorbing everything he could as his hand absently mussed his hair. Though, unlike his friends, James wasn’t immersing himself in schoolwork. The volume holding his rapt attention was in fact _Quidditch Through The Ages_. Still, he wasn’t reading it for leisure; the first Quidditch practice of the season – also the very first with him as the captain – was scheduled at seven the day after tomorrow. Though James wouldn’t have admitted it to anyone, he felt nervous. Responsibility was not his strong suit, but all of a sudden it had been heaped on his shoulders, together with the hopes and dreams of his Housemates. Gryffindor couldn’t afford to lose the Cup, not on his watch.

Rain continued to patter against the windows. Peter’s quill scratched feverishly against the parchment, James muttered under his breath as he made mental notes of Quidditch formations, and Sirius let out a huge yawn.

Remus remained birdless, and finally reached his breaking point.

“Bugger it all!” he cursed, punching his pillow with his wand hand.

“All right, Moony?” Sirius drawled, glad to have an excuse to not continue his essay on how Muggles produced electricity.

“Bloody non-verbals,” Remus grumbled.

“A right pain in the arse,” Sirius agreed happily.

“Pain in the arse is right,” Peter moaned from the floor, rubbing his brow. “Transfiguration’s hard enough without them.”

“You’ve got an ink stain on your forehead,” Sirius informed him.

“As long as it’s not on my notes,” Peter replied with a small shrug. Then, with a sigh he returned to his work, his lips moving as he copied down the words.

“I’ve been practising and practising and I don’t think I’ve got any better,” Remus said, his voice tight with frustration.

“Sure you have,” Sirius grinned. “You don’t look half as constipated as you did before.”

Remus shot him an irritated glare. “I think I’ll just go to the common room and revise Charms.”

“Sorry Moony, it was a bad joke. Please stay.”

Remus’ eyebrow arched.

“I’m not helping you with your essay.”

“Not even a little? Come on, I know you want to explain these turban things to me.”

“No, I really don’t.” Remus spoke firmly and grabbed his Charms textbook. “I’m going.”

“Bye Remus,” Peter said.

“Have fun,” James wished distractedly.

“Moony, I really need your help,” Sirius pleaded.

Remus paused, one hand on the doorknob, and turned to look at Sirius over his shoulder.

“Since you sound so pitiful, I’m going to help you this much: those ‘turban things’ are actually called turbines.”

Peter chuckled, and Sirius frowned down at his parchment as the door of the dormitory determinedly clicked shut.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily was smiling to herself as she helped herself to the roast.

Bethany noticed this, and found her dormmate’s enthusiasm contagious.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” she said.

“I am,” Lily said, flashing a quick smile to Bethany. “I got Outstanding on my Defence essay.”

“You did?” Marlene said, quirking her brow. “I’ll have to go and owl the _Daily Prophet_ right away, then! Lily Evans got an ‘O’.”

“Be nice,” Gwen told Marlene, giving her a long look in warning.

“That’s great, Lily,” Bethany smiled. “Well done!”

“Thanks, Betty!”

Marlene shook her head. “I don’t see what the fuss is about. Why get so excited over an ‘O’? You always get good marks, Lily.”

“Well Quirke is a new teacher so none of us really knew what kind of marks we could expect from her,” Gwen shrugged.

“It’s not just that,” Lily said slowly. She set down her fork and frowned in thought. “I wanted to do well because it’s Quirke.”

“What do you mean?” Bethany asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“I look up to her, you know?” Lily confessed. “She really knows her stuff and she’s cool. Remember our very first lesson?”

“Yeah that little speech she gave was something else,” Marlene said.

“Exactly. She’s not afraid to stand up for what she believes in.”

“I know what you mean, Lily,” Gwen said. “I like her too.”

“She is a good teacher,” Marlene conceded. “And fair.”

Bethany nodded. “She is very admirable. I just wish she didn’t make us use non-verbal spells all the time.”

“I second that,” Marlene agreed with a grimace. “I just can’t seem to get the hang of non-verbals. They give me a headache.”

“Just keep at it. They are tricky to cast, but I’m sure you’ll both learn them soon enough,” Gwen said.

“Are you trying to rub it in that you know how to do them now?” Marlene crossed her arms.

Gwen rolled her eyes. “No, stupid, I’m trying to be encouraging. Besides I only managed them twice.”

Marlene looked like she wanted to retort but in the end she just pursed her lips and said nothing.

“I’ve been wanting to ask,” Bethany chirped up, looking at the disgruntled blonde, “is that a new lipstick, Marlene?”

“Maybe,” she replied evasively. “What’s it to you?”

“Nothing, I just thought the colour looked good on you.”

“Oh,” Marlene mumbled, staring down at her plate. “Erm, thanks.”

“It _is_ a new lipstick,” Gwen suddenly noticed, her eyes narrowing in instant suspicion. “You don’t usually wear make-up.”

“Maybe she should,” Lily said, sending Gwen a pointed look. “It looks really nice, Marlene.”

“Thanks Lily,” Marlene said. Her cheeks flushed slightly, and she cast a quick glance down the Gryffindor table.

Lily noticed her friend’s unease and followed Marlene’s line of sight. She understood her friend’s behaviour the moment she noticed her brother sitting there with a few other seventh years.

“Don’t worry,” she told Marlene with a reassuring smile. “I don’t think Marcus heard us.”

“I hope you’re right, otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it,” Marlene replied, glumly spearing her baked beans.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily was lying on her bed, feeling very cosy and mellow after the dinner. She lazily whirled her wand around, levitating a ball of crumpled up parchment for her cat to chase.

Betty was off somewhere socialising, Gwen had the first Quidditch practice of the season, and Mary had gone to study at the library.

The only other person besides her in the dormitory was Marlene, who was silently swearing as she compared the Transfiguration notes she and Lily had taken earlier that day.

“Why didn’t you talk me out of this?” she grumbled to Lily.

“Out of what, studying?” Lily asked, watching Augustus skitter across the floor after his make-shift toy.

“Out of N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration,” Marlene replied. “What was I thinking?”

“That it’s an important and useful subject?”

“It’s torture, Lily!”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Do you remember how long it took me to get vanishing spells last year? Now we’re supposed to _conjure_ stuff.”

“I remember that you had a hard time, but I also remember that you learnt them in the end. You can do this, Marlene.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Stop fretting,” Lily told her friend, levitating the ball higher in order to entice Augustus to do a backflip. “And if worse comes to worst, you can always go ask help from the Transfiguration Twins.”

Marlene’s head snapped up and she stared at Lily.

“Transfiguration Twins? You mean Black and Potter?”

“Yes.”

Marlene snorted.

“I’m sure that’s a nickname they’ll appreciate.”

Lily shrugged. She made the ball jump twice in quick succession, but Augustus seemed to have lost interest.

The dormitory door opened and Gwen staggered into the room, hair still wet from the shower and her broomstick propped against her shoulder.

“How was practice?” Lily asked, pocketing her wand.

“It was _brilliant_. And brutal. I suspect Potter may have been a slave driver in a previous life.” Gwen set the broomstick down on top of her trunk and flopped down to her bed with a groan.

“I didn’t take you for a masochist,” Marlene said snidely.

“Marlene,” Lily scoffed.

“It’s fine, I don’t expect you to get it. I haven’t been to a Quidditch practice in months. Months! I feel like I’m alive again.”

“Yeah, definitely a masochist.”

Lily rolled her eyes.

“Oh, right, Lily?”

“Yes, Gwen?”

“Pettigrew was asking after you down in the common room.”

“Really, Pettigrew? What does he want?”

“I don’t know, go ask him.”

“I suppose I should,” Lily agreed. She stretched and got out of her bed.

“No bickering, you two,” she said as her final warning as she left the room.

She found Peter tucked in a faraway corner of the common room. He was so often tagging along with his friends that it struck Lily as weird to see him alone.

“Hi,” she greeted him cheerfully.

“Hullo,” he said, his round cheeks flushing lightly.

“Gwen said you were looking for me.”

“Yes, I… Erm, I was wondering if you could help me. I mean if you’re busy –”

“It’s fine,” she assured him, sitting down on the armrest of the armchair Peter was lounging in. “What do you need help with?”

“Charms.”

“All right,” Lily said, flashing Peter a friendly smile. “Let’s get started, then.”

Their heads bent together and they immersed themselves in Peter’s homework, losing the track of time.

“That’s it,” Lily rejoiced as Peter finally got the wand movement right. “Now remember when you’re saying the spell –”

“Well there’s a combination I don’t see often,” a laughing voice cut in.

The two looked up to see James Potter, his broomstick slung over his shoulders.

“What are you two up to?”                         

“Nothing much,” Peter said, picking up his textbook.

“Just hanging out,” Lily said. There must have been a reason why Peter hadn’t gone to his friends for help. He probably didn’t want the others to know that he was having a bit of trouble with schoolwork so early to the term.

“Highly suspicious,” James insisted, and shook his head.

“Oh, Remus wants something,” Peter said and hurriedly gathered his things and got up from the chair.

Lily watched him scurry away, her eyebrow arched. She had not even seen Remus in the common room.

With just the two of them left alone, an awkward silence stretched as Lily looked at Potter and he stared back. Lily fiddled with the sleeve of her robe, while Potter shuffled his feet and messed his hair.

“So… Quidditch practice.”

“Yeah,” Potter blurted, looking a bit surprised. Perhaps he hadn’t expected her to initiate a conversation.

“I heard you were quite hard on your team.”

“Well, we have new members in the team and there hasn’t been a practice since May and we only have seven weeks until our first match…”

“That’s true. But I just thought you deserved to know that the word ‘slave driver’ was used.”

The corners of Potter’s lips twitched.

“So Gwen was complaining, was she?”

“No, she was ecstatic. She’s missed flying.”

“I know that feeling,” Potter said with a small grin.

Lily tilted her head.

“Gwen came up a while ago, though. Did you stay behind to fly some extra laps or something?”

“Nah, I just had some captain stuff to do.”

“Ooh, ‘captain stuff’. Sounds intriguing.”

“It’s… It’s nothing, really,” Potter said, suddenly finding the red carpet remarkably interesting.

“Come on,” Lily coaxed with a smirk, “I’m curious now.”

“Err, well, I wanted to take notes about the practice. So I can decide which strategies to use. And I need to assess the strengths and weaknesses of each individual player as well as the team as a whole so I know what areas we need to improve and what we need to focus on and… I’m boring you, eh?”

“No,” Lily frowned, “not at all.”

“I just mean, all this Quidditch talk…”

“I like Quidditch.”

“You do?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Lily demanded, raising her eyebrow. “Just because I’ve failed to swoon at the sight of you in a Quidditch uniform doesn’t mean I don’t like the game. I mean, I’m not fanatic about it like some people –” she cast him a meaningful glance “– but it’s an interesting sport nonetheless.”

“Yeah,” Potter blinked, “it is.”

Lily shook her head. Really, Potter could be such a dolt sometimes. And yet he took his new responsibilities seriously. In a way, that was quite impressive.

Lily folded her arms, and gave Potter a long, appraising look. “Well, seems like that captain’s badge isn’t just for show.”

A familiar grin touched his lips, and laughter flashed in his hazel eyes.

“Careful now, Evans. That almost sounded like a compliment.”

Lily got up from the armchair and smoothed down her robes.

“You’re right, Potter,” she said, meeting his eyes, “it almost does.”

Then with a final glance she left, smiling to herself as she made her way across the common room, to the staircase leading up to her dormitory.

 

* * *

 

 

People began to file out of the Charms classroom, and Marlene trudged over to Lily’s desk.

“I’m starving,” she whined, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“Good thing we have lunch next, then,” Gwen said, leaning against the desk.

Mary closed her bag and got up from her seat.

Lily stopped gathering her things and looked up ather friends, noticing that most people had already left the room.

“You guys go ahead,” she told them, rolling her parchments and pulling her textbook to her.

“We can wait,” Mary said.

“It’s fine, really,” Lily insisted, waving off the offer. “I wanted to ask Flitwick about shield charms.”

“Kiss-arse,” Marlene snorted. “Who are you trying to score extra points from; Flitwick or Quirke?”

“Well both, obviously,” Lily retorted, tossing back her dark red hair. “It’s not like I’d actually have any personal interest in the subject matter.”

Gwen snickered at Lily’s snark and then nudged Marlene.

“Come on, let’s go and feed you. Maybe then you’ll be less of a prat.”

Marlene grumbled under her breath but followed Gwen towards the door.

“We’ll see you later, Lily!” Mary said in parting, before rushing after the two witches.

Lily gave her friends a wave, then got up from her desk and walked to the front of the classroom where their tiny teacher was shuffling his notes.

“Professor?”

The sound of the voice startled Flitwick, but he soon beamed in delight as he noticed one of his favourite students standing by his desk.

“I wanted to ask you about shield charms.”

“As that is a defensive spell, wouldn’t that be something you’d rather ask Professor Quirke, Miss Evans?”

“Of course I plan to ask her too, but it is essentially a charm, and I thought you’d have insight to the practical applications of it. I understand you have an extensive background in duelling, Professor?”

“Ah, well, I do have a fair bit of experience of using the spell,” Flitwick admitted in his squeaky voice. “But I wouldn’t want to keep you from lunch, Miss Evans. Perhaps you could come see me in my office some time so we could discuss the topic at leisure. In the meanwhile…” he tore off a piece of parchment and quickly scribbled down something. “Here are some good titles that describe shield charms as well as some other defensive spells.”

“Thank you so much, Professor. I’ll make sure to stop by,” Lily promised, accepting the booklist with a bright smile.

“I’m happy to help, Miss Evans. Now hurry along before the food gets cold!”

Lily grinned and thanked Flitwick again before leaving the classroom and heading down towards the Great Hall. The corridors were empty; most students were already enjoying the lunch.

Lily walked quickly, while eagerly studying the short list she had got from Flitwick, making note of each book. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and looked up to see Snape rounding the corner, closely followed by Adeleine Blastock.

She frowned.

That didn’t seem right. Adeleine was a typical Slytherin pureblood snob. Lily had never seen her with Snape before.

Still, she didn’t think much of it. It was of no consequence to her with whom Snape chose to hang out these days, and she pointedly ignored the two as she hurried past them. The less time she had to spend near _Snivellus_ the better.

She was halfway down the corridor when something hit her back. Her left shoulder stung and her knees buckled.

Blood pumped in her ears. The adrenaline kicked in, and Lily was already moving as she hit the floor, landing in a crouch. She whirled around, wand in hand, her blazing green eyes glaring at her former friend. She supposed she should have felt hurt or surprised, but she didn’t. Her only emotions in this moment were anger and contempt.

The coward hadn’t even had the balls to face her.

Snape’s face twisted and his wand arm twitched, and Lily acted on pure instinct. The spell flashed in her mind and Snape’s curse rebounded harmlessly off the shield she had conjured without a single word.

Lily felt savage pride for the sour look that crossed Snape’s face and the way Adeleine Blastock’s eyes had widened at her non-verbal shield charm.

Lily stood up slowly, her wand trained on Snape.

Then, she broke the silence.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” she asked in a low, threatening voice. “I suggest you walk away right now, while I’m still using defensive spells.”

Snape’s dark eyes were conflicted and his jaw clenched, but he neither replied nor lowered his wand.

“What about you, then?” Lily spat at Adeleine.

The dark-haired girl crossed her arms over her chest but made no move to reach for her wand. “I’m only here as a witness,” she said, her usually haughty voice sounding glum.

“A witness?” Lily echoed sceptically. Then, a wry smile touched her lips. “Ah, I see. This is a test.” She glanced from Adeleine to Snape and back. “Your new _friends_ want proof of your loyalty.”

His thin lips pressed in a grim line, confirming her suspicion.

Lily stared him down, unyielding. And though her eyes were burning in anger, her voice was cold and soft when she spoke.

“You thought I would forgive you, but I told you, didn’t I? You’ve chosen your path. And it has led you here to point your wand at me.”

She saw his hand tremble. She saw the anguish etched on his face. And maybe she could have felt pity, if his wand wasn’t still levelled at her.

They had been best friends, but in the end that seemed to have amounted to nothing. He had chosen the people who loathed her very existence.

The tension grew as the two of them glared at one another, each anticipating the next move the other would make. Lily forgot all about Adeleine Blastock or lunch, the only thing that mattered right now was Snape and his wand. Her heart pounded madly, the blood wildly coursing through her veins in a white hot rush. Her senses were focused and fine-tuned to the slightest of movements Snape made, her mind racing and cataloguing spells, hexes, and curses she could hurl at him.

The time for shield charms was over. She had offered him a chance to back out, but it was obvious he wouldn’t. So she would switch to offense, fight fire with fire. She would not hesitate to hex Mulciber or Avery or any other Death Eater thug. Why should Snape be any different?

Finally his lips moved, his arm wound a slashing arc and Lily instantly responded in kind. She did not know what spell he had used, it cut through the sleeve of her robe and lashed her arm. She ignored the stab of pain even as she felt the gush of blood. His aim had been true but so had hers, and her hex had hit Snape right in his face. Lily felt a wild wave of self-satisfaction as she watched the large, red angry boils bubble across his sallow skin.

Snape clutched at his face. His wand veered to the side and Lily clutched hers tighter, the next hex already clear on her mind when there was a sudden movement at the edge of her vision. Another player eager to join the game. The young man leisurely strolled towards them, his wand drawn.

“Well, well,” Sirius Black drawled with a wolfish grin. “What a merry sight we have here.”

Adeleine Blastock glared at the intruder and Snape froze at the sound of his voice. His hands dropped from his face and he pried his eyes open.

“Still, two on one, huh? Wouldn’t it be fair to even the odds?”

“Do not involve me in this, Black,” Blastock hissed. She looked much less like a porcelain doll now, when the dark anger flashed on her face.

“She’s right,” Lily found herself agreeing. “It was only one on one. Though now that you are here we could make it into two on one.”

“A generous offer. I’m quite tempted to take it,” Sirius said. He was still grinning, his manner wholly casual, but his wand was pointed directly at Snape’s throat all the while. “Still, I’d hate to steal all your fun, Evans.”

Lily snorted.

Adeleine’s irritated gaze flitted between the two Gryffindors. Then, she scrambled to grab Snape’s arm in a rough grip.

“It’s over,” she hissed, turning her back to the fight. “Let’s go.”

 


	6. Discontented Youth

* * *

_‘Cause we have had enough_  
_All the violence has touched_  
_Every part of our lives_  
_Our innocence is gone tonight_

**\- Papa Roach:** Had Enough

* * *

 

“Bloody Prongs and his pansy arse,” Sirius muttered under his breath. “Should’ve hexed Snivellus when we had the chance.”

“What?” Lily asked sharply.

“Nothing,” Sirius grunted. She frowned at him but then shook her head and started down the corridor.

“The Hospital Wing is the other way,” Sirius pointed out, catching up with Lily in a few swift strides.

“I’m not going to the Hospital Wing,” she told him firmly.

“You’re bleeding, Evans. Quite heavily at that.”

“I’m fine.”

“It might leave a scar if you don’t have it looked at.”

Lily whipped around, her green eyes blazing. “Do I look like someone who cares about scars?” she snapped. She was _not_ in a good mood, and had little patience for Sirius Black and his nonsense.

“Crazy cow,” Sirius said, his own dark temper rising. “What are you biting my head off for? I’m not the one who cursed you.”

Lily’s quick, angry steps slowed and she had to stop to take a deep breath. The sharp reminder of having her former friend turn against her stung much worse than a slap in the face or her bleeding upper arm. She gritted her teeth and continued down the corridor, pointedly ignoring Sirius.

But Sirius wasn’t so easily discouraged. He hurried after Lily, cursing her stubbornness.

“So that’s the great plan? Do nothing?”

“Bugger off, Black.”

“You’re gonna go down for lunch and leave a trail of blood all the way from here to the Great Hall?”

“Does the sight of blood make you squeamish, Black?”

“Not particularly,” Sirius scoffed. “Why?”

“Because that’s the only reason I could come up with to explain why you would _care_ if I was bleeding all over the floors or not. I mean let’s be honest, we both know that you don’t like me.”

Sirius’ lip curled into a sneer.

“My personal feelings don’t factor into this. We’re on the same side, Evans.”

“And what side is that?” she snorted. “Gryffindors against Slytherins?”

He shook his head and grinned as if amused by some private joke. “Mudbloods and blood traitors against Death Eaters,” he said slowly.

Lily stopped in her tracks and turned to stare at Sirius, stunned to silence.

“And you’re right,” he continued, “I don’t like you. But James does, and so does Remus. How do you think they’ll react when you waltz down for lunch, still bleeding? Or your own friends, for that matter.”

Lily pursed her lips. Loathe as she was to admit, Sirius did have a point. The very reason she did not want to go to Madam Pomfrey was because she didn’t want to make a fuss. The fewer the people who knew about the attack the better.

“Fine,” she finally relented.

Sirius grabbed her wrist and started back down the corridor, but came to a quick stop when Lily didn’t follow.

“What are you doing?” he barked impatiently.

“I’m wondering what the bloody hell _you_ are doing,” Lily retorted.

“I’m trying to drag your sorry arse to the Hospital Wing.”

“No you aren’t. I told you I’m not going. Now let go of me so I can get my wand.”

Sirius looked at her in dark irritation, but released her wrist from his tight grip.

Lily raised her wand and turned to study at the wound on her upper arm. It was not deep, but the bleeding had barely even slowed down. A dark curse without a doubt, one Lily hadn’t seen before. Her brow creased in thought. Knowing Severus, the spell had probably been of his own design. He had always been enthusiastic about spell creation, often sharing his accomplishments with her. Though now it appeared he had been even more productive than Lily had suspected – he had never showed off any dark magic to her. But there was one spell he had taught her last May…

Lily closed her eyes and exhaled. Tracing the wound with the tip of her wand, her voice rose in the melodic incantation. Once she had finished the incantation, the blood flow had come to a sluggish stop, but she repeated the song-like spell two more times, as Severus had instructed her all those months ago.

The flesh knit together and the wound healed, leaving behind a red scar. Lily stared at it dispassionately, and then as an afterthought mended the sleeve of her robes.

“There,” she said, turning to Sirius. “Good as new.”

He looked at her, his grey eyes narrowed.

“What kind of a spell was that?” he asked.

“The healing kind,” she replied snidely. Then, she pointed her wand at him. “One more thing, Black. Don’t tell anyone about what happened. Not even your mates.”

Sirius shook his head. “Want to keep dear Snivellus out of trouble?” he spat. “Suit yourself, Evans.”

He brushed past her and soon disappeared around the corner, leaving Lily fuming alone in the corridor.

 

* * *

 

 

It was still dark; the eastern horizon was only starting to pale. Mist swirled over the lake and the grass was still wet after last night’s rain as James ran along the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Usually he would run around the Quidditch pitch but today he steered clear; green blurs were zig-zagging in the air above the pitch, signalling that he wasn’t the only one awake before sunrise on a Saturday morning.

These early morning jogs had become a habit of his over the last year, and usually they were peaceful, serving as a kind of meditation; a moment alone to sort out his thoughts. But right now, James’ ears pounded with a red-hot anger as Sirius’ words echoed in his head over and over again.

They had all wondered why Sirius had been so late to lunch the day before – and without the textbook he had gone back to retrieve from the Charms classroom. Once they had gone up to the dormitory after lunch he had finally offered an explanation, in a gruff, harsh tone of voice.

_“Snivellus attacked Evans.”_

Peter’s round face had grown pale, while Remus’ features had twisted in a dark scowl. And James…James had rummaged for his wand, the Map, his Invisibility cloak, and had been half-way to the door before Remus had caught up and talked some sense into him.

There was nothing he could do. It was not his place. He knew Lily could hold her own, even Sirius had said as much. He knew he did not have any right to exact revenge on Lily’s behalf, and he doubted she’d even want him to...

But the thought of her wounded, bleeding, attacked, because of _stupid_ blood prejudice – by a man who had once been her friend – filled him with boiling rage that threw reason straight into the bin.

James’ hands balled into fists. He gritted his teeth and picked up his pace. There was nothing he could do about it, so he ran.

The sky was lightening now, tinted with hues of pink, yellow, and orange. James’ steps slowed to a walk as he started to head back. He stopped at the bank of the lake and breathed in the cool, clean air as he watched the new day dawn.

Rage was not a feeling James Potter was familiar with. He was a laid-back person who, rather than getting angry, wasn’t afraid to turn things into a joke and laugh at himself. But this was the second time within a week that he felt the dark, alien emotion bubble in his veins.

First it had been that Death Eater attack in Kent last Sunday. And now Lily.

The war was getting more serious, and it seemed they couldn’t remain untouched even within the walls of Hogwarts. The ridiculous pureblood mania and the sheer unfairness of it all grated on his nerves. It wasn’t something he could shrug or laugh off, so James wasn’t sure how to deal with the anger and the frustration building up inside him. He wanted to do something, to fight against the discrimination and violence…but what could he _do_ , a school kid who wasn’t even of age yet?

He shook his head and stomped his feet, starting to walk back to the castle. Perhaps it was time to make use of the Prefect bathroom. Remus had always sworn by it, and as a Quidditch Captain, James was finally eligible to use it too – though he and Sirius had wheedled the password from Remus last year so they could check the place out. Still, a good long soak in a warm bath would do him good right now.

Forty-five minutes later, James’ mood had mellowed down. The bath had helped – there was a bounce in his step and he whistled as he stepped out to the corridor. It was nearing eight, so James decided to make his way down towards the Great Hall. Breakfast would start soon so there was little sense climbing up to Gryffindor tower.

He heard them before he saw them. He had not thought people would be eager to get out of bed early when they could have slept in, but there was no mistaking the gleeful laughter echoing in the entrance hall. He came to the top of the stairs and stopped still at the scene in front of his eyes. Three fourth year Slytherin girls, dressed like they had been outside, were huddling together, giggling. Behind them, he saw a small boy, first or second year, jumping and trying to reach up for something.

“That’s no good,” Parkinson laughed, “you need to try harder if you want it back!”

“It’s mine!” the boy said, his small voice cracking. “Give it back, please!”

“I don’t think so,” Selwyn said, “it’s not something a Mudblood like you should even have in the first place!”

The derogative word sent a jolt through James’ body and he started making his way to the group, ready to give them an earful. But then, as he got closer and saw that the object the girls had snatched from the boy and were levitating in the air out of his reach was his wand, James’ hot anger instantly turned cold.

He reached for his wand and pointed it at the girls’ backs without a second thought, the spell ready on his lips.

“ _Expelliarmus_ ,” his voice snapped, sharp as a whip. Four wands sailed through the air towards him, and he caught them easily with his honed Quidditch reflexes.

The three girls whirled around. Parkinson frowned at the sight of him and the third girl whose name James didn’t know blanched, but Selwyn shot him with a cold glare.

“My wand, Potter,” she demanded coolly.

“I don’t think so,” he said, the corners of his lips twitching as he threw Selwyn’s own words right back at her. “It’s not something a person like you should have in the first place.”

“Don’t you dare compare me to the likes of him,” Selwyn bristled, glancing at the Muggle-born boy. “My blood is _pure_.”

“You say that as if it was something to be proud of. Haven’t you heard what happens when you keep marrying your own cousins?”

Parkinson gasped, and Selwyn’s cheeks flushed.

“You will pay for that, Potter,” she hissed.

“By all means,” James said, spreading his arms, “hit me with your nastiest hex.”

Silence stretched between them, and Selwyn’s dark eyes glimmered with malice.

James smacked his forehead.

“Oh wait, my bad. I forgot you didn’t have a wand. Well, I guess you could run and tattle to your head of House how Potter was being a big meanie. I’m sure that will go well, given old Sluggy’s views on bullying. I’ll be sure to mention how I saw you three picking on this poor kid.”

“Stella,” the third girl whispered urgently, “we should just go.”

“I’m not going anywhere without my wand,” Selwyn snapped.

“I know! I should levitate these for you! Then you could jump up and try to reach them,” James suggested. “You three seemed to have so much fun playing that game earlier.”

Selwyn glowered at him, while Parkinson shuffled her feet, and the third girl stared at the ground, mortified.

“Or,” James said, finally growing serious, “I could just hand you your wands back –”

“You’d better!”

“– as long as you promise that you will go quietly back to your dormitory, and that you’ll never bother this kid again.”

“I’ll do no such –”

“I promise,” Parkinson cut in.

“Me too,” the third girl answered, her voice trembling.

Selwyn seethed, and for a moment James wondered if she would punch him.

“Fine,” she bit out after a terse silence, “we’ll leave.”

James allowed a small grin to touch his lips as he descended the remaining steps.

He held out the three wands and the girls hurriedly grabbed them before marching away with a few last parting glares to James’ direction.

“Such a cheery lot, eh?” James remarked to the Muggle-born boy. “Here you go, kid.”

“Thank you,” he said, his lower lip quivering a little when he finally got his own wand back.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I think so,” he said in a soft voice, his cheeks flushing pink.

“What’s your name? What House are you in?”

“I’m Tom, from Ravenclaw.”

“Nice to meet you Tommy, I’m James Potter. Let’s get you back to your common room, yeah?”

“Eh? No, uhh, you don’t have to, you already helped –”

“Come on,” James said, stooping to wrap his arm around Tom’s shoulders.

He started back up the marble stairs and Tom had no choice but to follow. James took a turn to the left, striding confidently down the halls and up the staircases, making his way towards the Ravenclaw Tower on the western side of the castle. He was glad for the distraction, because even after having fun at the Slytherins’ expense and resolving the situation, the anger was still there, slowly twisting and churning in the pit in his stomach. He no longer had an appetite, his jaw was still clenched and his teeth gritting.

Sure, he had helped Tommy out, but that wasn’t enough. The frustration he had felt earlier that morning was back now, winding around his shoulders, stiffening his neck.

He needed to do something more than trying to pick a fight with the likes of Stella Selwyn.

He wanted to do something about all Stella Selwyns out there, entitled purebloods pushing their own agenda, fuelling this war with their blatant discrimination masked as blood politics.

“Potter?”

James’ thoughts scattered, and his attention focused on the two girls coming towards them. They were in his year, Dana Watson and her friend Melody Smith, both Ravenclaws.

“You’re up early,” Dana remarked, a ready smile on her lips.

“Perfect timing, Watson,” James commented, coming to a stop before the girls. “I was just seeing Tommy here back to his dorm.”

Dana blinked, noticing Tom just a few steps behind James.

“Brooks, was it?” she said jovially.

“Yes,” Tom replied, clutching his wand in his fist.

“I found him in the entrance hall, being teased by a gang of Slytherin girls,” James said, his lips pressing into a grim line. “So I wanted to see him get to his dorm okay.”

Dana’s smile faded.

“Understandable,” she said, studying James.

Melody Smith stepped forward, crouching before Tom, her gentle eyes searching him.

“Are you all right?”

“I-I’m fine now,” Tom stammered, quickly lowering his gaze as he blushed.

“That’s good,” Melody said, patting his shoulder.

“I think we can take it from here,” Dana offered, glancing from James to Melody and Tom.

“You sure?”

“Of course,” she said. “Thank you, I’m glad you looked after him, but he’s our Housemate, you know? We’ll take care of him.”

“Cheers, Watson,” James said, flashing her a quick, crooked grin as the tension finally eased from his shoulders. He turned to Tom. “Well then, Tommy, these lovely ladies will see you safely to your dorm. Keep your head high, and don’t let the Slytherins get to you.”

“Thanks, James.”

“Any time.”

With a parting grin, James turned and walked away.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily Evans had a temper. That was a simple fact, and one she was fully willing to admit. Certain things riled her up with deceiving ease, but as swiftly as the hot flames of her anger flared, they always died just as quickly.

Except for this time. She had been unable to sleep that night, staring at the dark canopy of her bed, a cold fury bubbling just under her pale skin. She got up so early the Great Hall was almost deserted, the only other people occupying the Gryffindor table was a scattering of first years, a few harried-looking seventh years, and James Potter, who frowned at the bacon he pushed around his plate. Lily paid them all little mind as she took a seat at the end of the table. She sat alone, wound tight as a spring. Her green eyes, hard and unforgiving, stared down at her plate. She ate dutifully, chewing her toast and swallowing her scrambled eggs, their familiar flavours bland on her tongue.

As soon as Lily finished her breakfast she hurried off to the fourth floor. She slid into the library, dark and hushed in the early morning stillness, and walked between the tall rows of shelves, looking for the books Flitwick had recommended her. Their friendly conversation after Charms lesson had taken place less than twenty-four hours ago, but to Lily it felt like it had been in another lifetime. She gathered the books and found a lone table tucked away in a remote corner. Then she threw herself to the work, reading up on shield charms and other defensive spells and taking notes, all the while doing her best to ignore the quiet resentment curling behind her clenched jaw and gritted teeth.

Lily studied all morning and through lunch, nose buried in a book and quill scratching against parchment. She didn’t care that by now her friends were probably worried and wondering where she had disappeared to. She just needed to work because if she was idle she had time to remember…and remembering left her seething, remembering made her want to break something while screaming expletives at the top of her voice.

Time lost its meaning in that forgotten corner of the library where Lily immersed herself in her studies. She had no clue how long she spent there, crouched over the small table. But slowly Lily’s concentration ebbed away and she became aware of herself: her muscles were stiff, her hand and neck were sore, her stomach empty. And then she became aware of something else – the tell-tale tingle of being the object of someone’s scrutiny.

Lily’s head snapped up from the book. It took her a moment to spot her; she stood to the side, half tucked away behind a bookshelf as if hiding. As soon as their eyes met, stormy green against cool grey, she was gone. Lily’s lip curled into a snarl and the legs of the wooden chair scraped against the floor in a pitiful whine. She piled the books and stuffed her quill and notes into her bag and marched out of the library, stomped up the stairs to the seventh floor and did not stop until she was sprawled on her bed where the heavy red curtains shut out the world. She heard the urgent whispering voices of her friends and a moment later, Gwen’s hesitant invitation to join them for dinner.  
“I’m not hungry,” she lied in a tight voice.

The Gryffindor girls scurried away and left Lily alone to fume over Adeleine Blastock. Hadn’t she done enough? What more did she want, stalking her in the library like that?

When her dormmates returned, Mary dared to lift one end of the curtain and breached Lily’s sanctuary with a plate bearing a generous slice of apple pie. Lily accepted her offering with a curt thanks and was promptly left alone after that. She still had no appetite, but forced herself to eat the pie to appease her empty stomach. Then she burrowed under the blankets and brooded.

Lily spent the entire Sunday in her self-imposed seclusion, lounging on her bed behind the drawn curtains. She did the essay for Potions and translations for Runes and auxiliary reading for Herbology. She petted Augustus and transfigured the fur on his tail Gryffindor red for practise. Mary, mother hen that she was, made sure Lily didn’t starve even though she refused to go down for lunch or dinner.

When Monday morning dawned, Lily was starting to feel marginally better. The start of a new school week meant that she’d again be busy with lessons and schoolwork, hopefully too busy to remember how grievously she’d been wronged, too busy to be swallowed up by the constant anger.

Lily’s morning began with wrestling a vigorous Snargaluff with Mary and Marlene. Having a physical scuffle with a plant actually did wonders to Lily’s foul temper; she had been wanting to punch something for days. Herbology was followed by double Transfiguration, where Lily puzzled the complex theory and tried with a little success to conjure a canary. After the lesson she braved the library again, returned the books she had borrowed, and got started on the assignment McGonagall had given them.

By the time Lily made her way down the stairs to lunch, the tension she had been carrying for days had seeped out and she was almost back to normal. Until she stepped into the Great Hall and spotted a familiar greasy head, bent together with those of his new friends; Mulciber, Avery, and Rosier. The grim whisper of outrage flared anew and Lily’s fingers twitched towards her wand, a hex already dancing on the tip of her tongue before she forced herself to turn away and keep walking.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily could feel the weight of their stare. She tried her best to ignore it, to focus on the nettle roots she was chopping, but she had to stop and take a breath when she almost cut her finger.

She wondered which of the two it was, Adeleine Blastock or Snape.

Her hand subconsciously moved to grab her upper arm where, even now almost a full week later, an angry red scar still remained. A reminder of her former friend’s final betrayal.

Lily gritted her teeth and dumped the nettle roots into her cauldron. She stirred the concoction and tried to find the calm that potion brewing usually filled her with, tried to feel excited as the simmering smoke rose in the exact pattern her textbook had described.

But the anger still throbbed in her veins, her stomach still gave an uneasy lurch.

She glanced to her side, where Potter was carefully dicing the newt spleen with a look of concentration on his face.

How did he do it? She wondered sourly. How did he keep grinning and laughing and strutting about with no care in the world?

Her gaze was drawn to his cauldron and the potion happily bubbling within. It was thicker and a shade or two darker than hers, but still…

“Your potion’s looking pretty good.”

Potter turned to her, cocking his head to the side. Lily bit her traitorous tongue that had let the words slip out.

“Hm. I wonder if I should take that as a compliment or an insult,” Potter mused. “What do you think, Remus?”

Remus shrugged.

“I’m quite sure she meant it as a compliment.”

“I did.” Lily frowned, taken aback. How could it possibly be insulting to tell Potter his potion seemed good – even though she hadn’t meant to say it out loud?

“But you sounded so surprised.”

“Well I am.”

“You shouldn’t be,” James said. “I wouldn’t be taking this class if I was a terrible.” He gave her a ridiculous wink.

“I suppose,” Lily admitted, the corners of her lips twitching, despite the foul mood that had been plaguing her just a moment earlier.

“And I’ll have you know I’m better at Potions than Remus.”

“That’s true,” Remus said, stirring his own concoction. “Though if you want terrible, you should have seen Peter’s work.”

“Oh, Pete,” James shook his head, “he would always make a mess.”

“Don’t be mean to Peter.”

“It’s not mean if it’s true,” James replied with a shrug and easy grin.

Lily’s lips quirked in response.

“Anyway, Potions isn’t too tricky a subject in the end, you know? Just do as the book says,” James spoke, nudging his copy of _Advanced Potions_.

Lily stared at him incredulously, a merry giggle bubbling in her throat.

“I don’t know,” she said, her voice lilting with amusement. “I didn’t really peg you for someone who’d take direction well.”

“Touché, Evans!” Mirth flashed in James’ eyes. “My love for mischief-making aside, I can follow a simple set of instructions.”

“You call this simple?” Remus grumbled, frowning at his book.

James ignored his friend’s complaint, and ploughed on.

“Of course, just following instructions isn’t enough to master the art of potion brewing. For that you need to have a certain sense of creativity that I seem to be lacking.”

“Intuition might be a better word for it,” Lily said. Then, a teasing smile touched her lips. “You hardly lack creativity, Potter. Your pranks have been very innovative, not to mention some of the excuses I’ve heard you try to feed to the professors over the years.”

“Why thank you, Evans. Still, you know what I mean. I’ll never be a potioneer of your calibre. If only brewing skills were hereditary.”

“You have potioneers in your family?” Lily asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Oh yes. In fact my father is rather famous for it. The inventor of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion, my old man.”

Lily blinked at James’ messy mop of hair.

Then she snorted.

“It’s all twisted and backwards,” she laughed, “but I feel like that explains so many things.”

 


	7. Parties and Surprises

* * *

_When we were only kids_  
_And our time couldn't end_  
_And how tall did we stand_  
_With the world in our hands_

**Yellowcard: Shadows And Regrets**

* * *

 

On Monday at lunchtime, Lily and Mary were on their way to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall when someone called Lily. She paused, puzzled, and turned to look at the long Ravenclaw table. Her fellow prefects Emmeline Vance and Kat Whyte were sitting beside one another, and Kat was waving her over. Lily shared a glance with Mary, who simply nodded. So while Mary continued over to the Gryffindor table, Lily made her way to the Ravenclaws, sitting down on the bench as a blond wizard sitting across from Kat scooted over to make room for her.

“Can I help you lot?” she asked, one eyebrow curiously arched.

“Yes,” Kat said emphatically.

“As you might know,” Emmeline began, “Connor’s birthday is coming up next week.”

“Oh.” Lily hadn’t really known when the Head Boy’s birthday was, they had never really been that close.

“It’s on Monday, though, so we’re throwing him a surprise party this Saturday.”

“That sounds nice,” Lily said, a little unsure just why they were telling her this.

“We hope you have nothing planned for the weekend, because we’re cordially inviting you,” Emmeline smiled.

“The party starts in our common room at seven. I can come pick you up if you don’t know the way,” Kat offered.

“I… I’d love to come, really,” Lily faltered. “It’s just that, well… Are you sure it’s all right? Since I’m not a Ravenclaw?”

“We just invited you, didn’t we?” Kat snorted, rolling her eyes.

“Alice is coming, too,” Emmeline assured Lily. “Though of course we want to keep the inter-house attendance to a minimum, since you might need to break curfew getting back to your own dorm.”

“So, you are very much welcome, but it might be better not to bring a date along,” Kat said with a sly wink.

“I don’t think there’s any need to worry about _that_ happening...” Lily replied in a dry tone. Then, a grin rose to her lips. “All right, I’ll be happy to come.”

“Great!”

“See you there!”

“Thanks for the invite,” Lily said and got up, walking over to the Gryffindor table where her friends were waiting.

“The secret sisterhood of prefects strikes again?” Gwen quipped as Lily slid down to the seat Mary had been saving for her.

“Sort of, I guess,” Lily replied thoughtfully, helping herself to the food. “I got invited to a party.”

“A Ravenclaw party? I’m sure that’ll be a blast,” Marlene snorted through her mouthful.

“Connor Matheson’s birthday is coming up and they’re throwing a surprise party for him.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely,” Mary said.

“Connor Matheson, eh?” Betty cut in, a smile touching her lips. She leaned over her plate, dark eyes twinkling. “I’ve been meaning to ask you Lily, is there something I should know about?”

“What?”

“Right, you two came together to dinner ten days ago,” Marlene pointed out, smirking.

“We did, because we happened to run to each other and he offered to walk me down.”

“Offered, did he?” Gwen muttered to Mary, who stifled a giggle.

Lily’s eyebrows knitted and she set her fork down.

“You’re reading too much into it, he’s a polite person!”

“Hmm, I guess.” Gwen conceded and sipped her pumpkin juice.

“Perhaps it’s for the best there’s nothing more to it than that,” Marlene mused.

Lily’s eyes narrowed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well he’s the serious, mature type,” Marlene replied, as if that explained everything.

“And Head boy,” Gwen added with a pointed jab of her fork.

“So?” Lily prompted.

“So he’s proper boyfriend material.”

“The kind of a boy you could bring home to your parents.”

“I still fail to see the problem,” Lily said, crossing her arms and a dry tone creeping into her voice.

Gwen and Marlene shared a glance, and then both turned to look at Mary.

Mary squirmed in her seat, but raised her kind brown eyes from her plate to meet Lily’s puzzled gaze.

“You’ve never really had a boyfriend, Lily.”

Lily’s jaw slackened and she blinked at her friends. That was not true!

“I’ve had plenty of–” she started indignantly.

“No, you haven’t,” Gwen cut in before Lily could finish. “You have dates, Lily, not boyfriends.”

“You see them once or twice and then you move on to the next one,” Marlene continued.

“What?” Lily spluttered. “I do not –”

“Bertram Aubrey,” Gwen said, raising one finger. “Aidan Cooper, Joshua Miller...”

“Ooh, I liked Joshua,” Betty sighed.

“…Sam Perkins, Bradley Braithwaite…”

“My brother,” Marlene supplied glumly.

“What, Lily was with Marcus?” Betty gasped.

“God, Marlene, let it go! It was just one kiss!”

“It was your first kiss!”

“Nice, Lily,” Betty chirped appreciatively.

“…Dylan Fairburn…”

“Gwen,” Mary said softly, “I think that’s enough.”

“Did any of them last for more than two months?” Marlene asked Gwen.

“I don’t think so,” she replied, shaking her head.

“So…” Lily bristled, her lips grim and eyes hard, “you’re implying that I _get around_?”

“No,” Gwen countered, growing exasperated. “There’s nothing wrong with dating.”

“You just don’t seem to get serious with any of them,” Marlene said with a shrug.

“Well maybe she has no reason to,” Betty piped up, resting her chin against the heel of her palm. “How many of these boys did you ask out?”

Lily frowned.

“None,” she admitted.

“There you go,” Betty smiled, picking up her goblet. “Maybe Lily’s a polite person.”

Marlene pursed her lips. “That’s a fair point.”

“Of course it’s a bloody fair point,” Lily snapped. “I’m not going to throw myself into a relationship just for the heck of it!”

“And that’s a good thing. Better not to commit if you’re not that into the guy,” Gwen nodded.

“Thank you!”

“So, this party… are you taking a date?” Betty asked.

“No,” Lily replied with a pointed glare. “They actually told me not to.”

“What?”

“Why?”

“In case I need to sneak back to the Gryffindor tower after curfew.”

“That’s… sensible.” Mary offered hesitantly, while Gwen and Marlene shared a look.

“I saw that.” Lily hissed, her eyebrow arching. “What is it?”

“Oh, nothing,” Marlene said, waving her fork impatiently.

Lily poked the food around her plate. It hadn’t been nothing, she knew that much, but chose to let it go. She’d had quite enough of this conversation.

 

* * *

 

As always, the sixth year Defence Against the Dark Arts class was riveted. Professor Quirke knew her stuff, and commanded the classroom almost as well as Professor McGonagall. Not a single student whispered with their friends or appeared bored. James Potter was taking notes diligently, and beside him, even Sirius Black was sitting still and listening attentively to Quirke’s lecture on the Unforgivable Curses.

“Now of course, having all passed your O.W.L.s with good marks, you all know what these three curses are and what they do, but allow me to go over them with you nevertheless. These three are very powerful and the most sinister curses in existence. Using any of them on either a muggle or a wizard will mean a life sentence at Azkaban – although there is one exception. Anyone?”

A few hands shot up. James dipped his quill in the inkwell.

“Yes, Mr Lupin?”

James glanced to his left as Remus spoke up.

“A person who casts an Unforgivable Curse can be pardoned if they are acting under the Imperius Curse.”

“That’s correct, Mr Lupin, take five points to Gryffindor. Now then let’s start with Imperius since it came up. The caster of this curse will have full control over their victim. Imperius is also the only Unforgivable Curse that the victim could potentially fight off. Resisting the curse’s effects requires a great strength of will, however, so it’s not something just anybody could do.”

James’ quill paused. For a fleeting second he wondered if he were able to do it, if he had enough willpower to resist such a strong curse. But he had no time to dwell on such idle thoughts; Quirke kept talking and he had notes to take.

“The Imperius Curse dates back to early Middle Ages where it was created to coerce and brainwash others into slavery. The Ministry of Magic declared Imperius ‘unforgivable’ in 1717, along with the Cruciatus and the Killing Curses.”

James scowled down at his parchment and tried his best not to think that dark witches and wizards of today were still using a curse that had been outlawed over 250 years ago. Someone, somewhere, might be casting it on an unsuspecting victim right at this very second.

“Another thing that sets the Imperius Curse apart from the two other Unforgivables,” Professor Quirke continued, her voice cool and even, “is that its effects do not feel unpleasant to the victim. The reports of the experiences of Imperiused people consistently state that while they’ve been under the curse they’ve felt calm and relaxed – even happy.”

The lesson finally came to an end and James stuffed the textbook into his bag. He was rolling up his parchment of notes when Sirius’ elbow dug into his side.

James looked up at Sirius and then followed his gaze to the Ravenclaw girl approaching them.

“Quite a lecture there, huh?” Dana Watson asked, stopping in front of James’ desk.

“Yeah, very cheery,” he replied, earning a quick flash of dimples.

“What’s the deal, Watson?” Sirius drawled, his eyebrow arched. “Come to weasel out Quidditch secrets?”

“Hardly. But I come bearing gifts.” She dug around her bag and then pulled out a paper bag. “I heard you like liquorice wands.”

“Thanks,” James said, accepting the sweets. “But bribery still won’t get me to reveal any Quidditch tactics to you.”

“It’s a thank you, not a bribe,” Dana quipped.

“A ‘thank you,’ eh? Generous and a bit puzzling.”

“Well, I’m just a messenger,” she shrugged, giving him a small smile. “It’s actually from Tom Brooks.”

“Oh, Tommy!” James grinned. “Tell him I said thanks.”

“I’ll make sure of it,” Dana promised and walked off.

James got up and slung his bag over his shoulder.

“So what did you do to earn such a gift?” Sirius asked as the two of them walked out of the classroom.

“I helped out this Ravenclaw boy Tommy a while back, he was in a tight spot with a couple of Slytherins.”

“Very chivalrous of you, Prongs.”

“You know me, I’m a regular knight in shining armour.”

“True, though I’m wondering about one thing.”

“And what’s that, Padfoot?”

“Why Watson? Why didn’t this Tommy give you his gift himself?”

“Probably easier this way,” James shrugged. “Since Watson shares classes with me.”

“Probably,” Sirius echoed, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.

 

* * *

 

James Potter was tired and sore as he walked down the stairs from the Gryffindor tower. He didn’t even want to think of the pile of homework he had left waiting in the dormitory when he had swung by a moment earlier to deposit his broom and pick up a change of robes. He reached the fifth floor landing and then continued down the corridor.

Quidditch practice had been an absolute nightmare. Not because the team was performing poorly, although a lot of work still had to be done before they’d be ready for their first match; their seeker wasn’t quite as quick as he’d like and the new chaser was still only learning the various formations.

But the real thorn in James’ side was the weather. It had been abysmal for the past week but today had been the worst yet. The heavy rainfall would have been quite enough in itself, but the lightning storms and occasional hail certainly didn’t help. These were not conditions where he wanted to fly – or let anyone on his team fly – but they had little choice in the matter because they needed the practice. James had been impressed their seeker had seen enough of the snitch in the torrent of rain to catch it.

James shivered from cold and picked at his drenched Quidditch robes. They clung to his skin and it was driving him mad, but he hadn’t bothered with a drying charm when he was about to take a bath and change out of his wet robes anyway. The prefect’s bathroom was just a bit further down the corridor and he was looking forward to the hot bath. What James was not expecting, however, was someone exiting the room when he was only a few yards away.

Their eyes met, and her pretty face mirrored the surprise he felt.

“Evans,” he blinked.

“Potter,” she replied, giving him a long look. Her skin was aglow and her cheeks still slightly flushed from the bath, her dark red hair falling down her back in waves. James’ stomach gave a quick jolt and he had to firmly stomp down on the nervous fluttering in his chest.

Just friends, he reminded himself firmly as his hand jumped into his damp hair.

“You look like you took a bath with your clothes on,” Lily quipped, one eyebrow arching as she gave a once over to the sorry soaked picture he made.

“More like a cold shower,” he offered with a small grin.

Her lips twitched into a smile.

“You must really love Quidditch to brave that weather.”

“We’ve only been practising for two weeks,” he shrugged. “The weather’s horrible but we have a schedule to keep.”

“I suppose,” she hummed. “Though I wish you’d wait out the thunderstorms.”

“It adds a sense of an adventure but there’s no real danger, Evans. The visibility of course is low but it’s very unlikely anyone would get struck by a lightning. The only real worry is the wind, but I’m confident in my flying skills. I wouldn’t be blown off my broom so easily.”

Amusement flashed in her green eyes. “I was more worried about Gwen, actually.”

“I know,” James smirked with bravado though really he just wanted to smack himself in the face. Repeatedly.

“Well,” Lily drawled, glancing down at her feet. “You must be chilled to the bone so I shouldn’t keep you waiting.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling rather nippy,” James admitted, another shiver running down his spine.

“Hope you have a nice bath.”

“Cheers, Evans.”

She gave him a small smile and started down the corridor. James walked up to the door of the prefect’s bathroom but paused to glance at Lily’s retreating back before he gave the password and stepped into the room.

 

* * *

 

Saturday night arrived in no time at all, much sooner than Lily had expected. She tried to ignore the nervousness bubbling in her chest as she inspected her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was curled just right and the mascara was a nice touch. Good enough.

She stepped into the dorm room. The clothes were her next problem. She didn’t even know what the dress code was, casual robes or Muggle clothes?

“I think you should put on that grey pleated skirt,” Gwen offered, perched on her bed and trimming the tail twigs of her broomstick.

“Oh yes,” Betty agreed quickly, looking up from her _Witch Weekly_. “That looks really good on you!”

Lily bit her lip.

“I think I’m just going to go with this,” she decided after a while, glancing down at herself.

“Your school robes?” Betty gasped as if Lily had just admitted she kicked house elves for fun. “Why? It’s a party! A perfect excuse to dress up!”

“I’ve never been to a Ravenclaw party,” Lily shrugged. “I don’t know how casual or formal this thing is going to be, and at least I can’t go wrong with school robes.”

“Well that’s sound logic but I’d think you’re supposed to dress up.”

“I did!” Lily insisted. “I did my hair _and_ put on make-up. I even painted my nails.”

Gwen and Better exchanged a long glance.

“Well, I suppose that’s as much as we can hope for,” Gwen sighed, shaking her head.

“Your hair’s really pretty,” Betty offered.

“Thank you. Now has anyone seen Marlene?”

“Not since dinner.”

“I wanted to borrow her brown boots.”

“Down in the Common Room?” Gwen suggested.

“I didn’t see her there when I came up,” Betty frowned. “Maybe she’s with Mary in the library?”

“C’mon, Betty. Marlene? In the library?”

“Well she has to do her homework at some point,” Lily muttered.

“I’d lend you my shoes, the strappy black ones, but I don’t think they’d fit you,” Betty said.

“I appreciate the thought, nonetheless,” Lily smiled.

“Mary has those maroon heels. You could borrow those,” Gwen suggested.

“Without permission? Wouldn’t Mary mind?”

“Mary? Of course she wouldn’t. Besides, I think they’d look better on you than the boots,” Betty said.

Lily nodded slowly.

“All right, let’s go with those, then.”

A moment later, Lily rocked on the heels of Mary’s shoes and smoothed her robes.

“Good to go?” she asked her fashion critics.

“One more thing!” Betty piped up. She jumped up from her bed and rifled through the box she kept on her bedside table. She crossed the room and stopped in front of Lily, rising to her tiptoes to place the twin pearl hairclips on Lily’s curled hair.

“There,” she announced, stepping back to admire her finishing touch.

“Thanks Betty. Have a good practice, Gwen!”

“I will. Now run along, go party with the Ravenclaws.”

“And remember to tell us how it went!” Betty called after Lily as she left the dorm.

 

* * *

 

Lily glanced at her watch as she crossed the Common Room. Twenty minutes until the party would start, hopefully that would be enough time to get across the castle… She hadn’t been to the Ravenclaw tower before, having had no business there, but she knew approximately where it was.

Stepping through the portrait hole out into the corridor, she saw Kat Whyte leaning against the wall.

“Hullo, Lily! Right on time.”

“Hi Kat,” Lily greeted her, relieved to find that the blonde Ravenclaw was also in her school robes.

“I like what you did to your hair.”

“Thanks,” Lily replied, resisting to urge to self-consciously touch her curls. “So, how’s it going? Is Connor still in the dark about the party?”

“He has no idea.” A smug smile tugged at Kat’s lips. “We conspired with Alice and she agreed to be our diversion, she and Connor have been at a Heads’ meeting all evening, giving us all time to set everything up.”

“That sounds great.”

“Yeah. We put up all these decorations – we even made a banner. I can’t wait to see Connor’s face when he walks in.”

Kat’s cheer was contagious, and Lily found herself grinning in response as the two of them made their way across the castle, going down the moving staircases and then up again, until at last they reached the spiral staircase that lead up to the Ravenclaw tower.

“I envy the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs sometimes,” Kat grumbled as they climbed up.

“I know what you mean,” Lily shook her head. “I love our dormitories but there are days when just the thought of trekking up all these bloody stairs makes me want to cry.”

“Exactly. The views are great though.”

“They are. But stairs aren’t.”

Finally they reached the door. It was plain and wooden, and had no keyhole or handle, as Lily was curious to find.

“Want to do the honours?” Kat pointed towards the bronze eagle-shaped knocker.

“It’s all right,” Lily waved her hand. “I wouldn’t know the password.”

“We don’t have passwords,” Kat grinned. But Lily still shook her head so Kat shrugged and reached for the knocker.

The eagle opened its beak and spoke in a soft voice. “What is it that you must give before you can keep?”

Lily blinked.

Kat frowned in thought. “I guess it would have to be my word,” she answered after a moment.

“Correct,” the eagle said and the door swung open.

Kat turned to Lily. “After you!”

Lily had to pause in the doorway, drinking in the sight. It wasn’t just the decorations that stole her breath, the streamers and the bright paper lanterns floating in the air and the ‘happy birthday’ banner Kat had mentioned earlier, it was the room itself. Airy and light with tall arched windows, the stars decorating the soft midnight-blue carpet and painted on the domed ceiling.

“It’s lovely,” she breathed.

“I know,” Kat said. Lily could hear the pride in her voice.

Emmeline, who had been bustling about the common room through the crowd, her wand swishing with the final preparations, finally spotted her.

“Lily, you’re here! Come on in!”

With a quick breath to steel her Gryffindor nerve, Lily crossed the threshold.

“Hi, Emmeline. Thanks again for inviting me.”

“No problem. You get here all right?”

“Yeah, Kat picked me up. I love the decorations.”

“Thank you. We’ve been storing them in the girls’ dormitories to keep them out of Connor’s sight.”

Lily returned Emmeline’s smile. “I’m sure Connor will be surprised.”

“He’d better be.” Kat crossed her arms.

Lily let her gaze sweep across the room and took in the graceful blue armchairs and tall bookshelves along the walls, the decorative statue of Rowena Ravenclaw. It was grander than the Gryffindor common room but also lacked some of the warmth. Though Lily liked the room, she felt out of place. Perhaps some of the Ravenclaw students agreed, a few of them were giving Lily curious looks.

For a moment Lily stood there awkwardly as both her friends were occupied; Emmeline was putting on the finishing touches and Kat was standing with her ear to the common room door.

After a while, Lily hesitantly approached a group of three students in her year: Andrew Buchanan, who attended Ancient Runes with her and whom Lily knew from the Slug Club, Melody Smith, whom Lily knew to be Andrew’s girlfriend thanks to Betty’s gossip, and Melody’s best friend Dana Watson, Ravenclaw’s Seeker.

“Hi,” she greeted, offering them a small smile and hoping she didn’t come across as nervous as she felt.

“Hi, Lily,” Andrew Buchanan said. “Here for the party?”

“Yeah, Emmeline and Kat were kind enough to invite me.”

“Welcome,” Dana Watson smiled, dimples flashing.

“How are you feeling?” Melody asked in a soft voice.

“Excited,” Lily said. “Though I fear I stick out like a sore thumb.”

“I think you’re fine,” Andrew said, “though I’d be nervous too if I were in another House’s common room.”

“What do you think?” Dana asked.

“It’s beautiful. The ceilings and windows and the bookshelves… and I love the decorations.”

“Emmeline and Kat are really going all out,” Andrew agreed.

“Connor’s going to be so happy,” Melody said.

“I think he’s really going to be surprised.”

“Well, Lily, since it’s your first time here, would you like a tour?”

Lily blinked at Dana. “Sure.”

“Great. We’ll be back in a few,” she told Melody and Andrew, and then linked her arm through Lily’s and steered her away.

They paused at the windows and Lily enjoyed the view of the mountains. The sun had just set and the twilight was falling over the grounds.

“Listen, Lily…” Dana began. She bit her lip. “This is kind of weird and abrupt but I’ve been curious...”

Lily turned to Dana.

“What is it?”

“Well, I was wondering, about you and James Potter.”

“There’s nothing between me and Potter,” Lily replied immediately. Sure, they’d managed to be civil towards one another lately, even getting along but still… “We’re not really even friends.”

“But he fancies you, doesn’t he?”

Lily’s stomach gave a small flip.

“He used to,” she admitted, “but I heard he’s decided to give up on me.”

“Really? Has someone else caught his eye?”

“None that I know of,” Lily frowned, “but like I said, we’re not all that friendly so…”

“Right, thanks.”

Dana smiled at her, a pretty, dimpled smile, and Lily’s eyebrow arched in suspicion. Was this Ravenclaw curiosity, or something else entirely?

But before she could start questioning Dana about just why she was so interested, Kat’s voice carried over the common room.

“Footsteps!” she cried. “Everybody get ready!”

She and Dirk Cresswell took positions at either side of the door and a moment later it swung open.

“Surprise!” the roomful of Ravenclaws yelled as Connor Matheson stepped in, and Kat and Dirk shot golden sparks from their wands.

Connor froze. His eyes were wide, his jaw slack as he took in the whole room: the decorations, and his grinning housemates. Then he started to laugh.

“Brilliant,” he beamed. “Just brilliant!”

His laughing eyes found Emmeline.

“This must be your doing.”

“Happy birthday, Connor,” Emmeline wished warmly.

And then the party started.

 

* * *

 

It was much like every other party she had attended, Lily mused as she stood by the tall arched windows. There was music and good company – Lily had chatted and laughed with Emmeline and Alice for the most of the night. A few people were even dancing, Kat and Dirk Cresswell among them. It wasn’t as rowdy as a Gryffindor party, but perhaps that could also be chalked up to the absence of a certain group of four sixth year boys.

Lily watched the Ravenclaws and their party from her quiet spot. She was starting to feel a little tired and wondered if she should head back soon. Though, would it be impolite to leave before wishing Connor a happy birthday? The Head Boy had naturally been the centre of attention so Lily hadn’t had a chance to talk to him.

“Here you are.”

Lily started and turned.

“All alone?” Connor Matheson asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah,” Lily breathed. “Just wanted a bit of a break from the partying.”

Connor’s lips twitched.

“Me too,” he admitted, his eyes sparkling.

Lily clasped her hands and took a breath.

“Happy birthday,” she told him with a smile..

“Thank you.” He held her gaze and returned her smile.

He had a nice smile, Lily thought idly. Warm. Honest.

“The party’s great,” she heard herself comment.

“It’s brilliant,” he grinned. “It was so sweet of Emmeline to set this whole thing up.”

Connor paused. His eyes found hers again, and the look in them made something inside Lily flutter nervously.

“Though I think,” he said, slowly, softly, “that you coming has been the best surprise of all.”

 


	8. Of Secrets and the Quidditch Pitch

* * *

_I want to say I lived each day, until I die_  
_And know that I meant something in somebody's life_

**\- Beyoncé:** I Was Here

* * *

Lily couldn’t remember just how she had snuck across the castle and avoided Peeves on the fifth floor, but somehow she had managed. When she finally snapped out of her daze, she was surprised to be climbing up the spiral stairs to her dormitory. She shook her head and tried to ignore the lingering traces of disbelief.

She paused behind the large wooden door of the sixth year dormitory and took a deep, steadying breath. Lily knew her friends, and would have bet her wand that they were all still awake, waiting for her to come back and tell them everything about the party.

Usually she wouldn’t have minded, but tonight had been a bit of a shock; she wasn’t sure what to think and could do without the inevitable ‘I told you so’s.’

Still, there was no sense in putting off the interrogation. Lily was tired and wanted to get to bed, and there was no way she could avoid her friends’ eager questions anyway. Besides, she was well acquainted with the Hogwarts rumour mill by now. The news of tonight would spread, and her friends would find all about it eventually.

Better to just get it all over and done with.

Lily inhaled again and stepped in.

The room had been silent, all her friends concentrating on their own things; Mary brushing her hair, Betty painting her toenails, Gwen organising her things and Marlene leafing through one of the murder mysteries she had taken a liking to. But the peace was gone with Lily’s entrance.

“Hullo, Lily,” Marlene greeted, setting down her book and sitting up on her bed.

“You’re back!” Mary beamed at her.

“How was the party?” Betty chirped, corking the bottle of coral nail varnish.

“Did you have fun?” Gwen asked as she carefully folded her cloak and set it in her trunk.

“I did,” Lily replied as she crossed the room. “The party was great, though not quite so rowdy as ours tend to be.”

She plopped down onto her bed and pulled her shoes off. Her fingers trembled a little as she plucked the hairclips Betty had lent her from her red curls.

“Here, Mary,” Lily said, offering her the shoes. “I borrowed these from you.”

Mary set down her hairbrush and took the shoes.

“Ah, Gwen told me you had borrowed them, hope they fitted you okay.”

“They were great, thanks. And sorry I didn’t ask your permission.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Betty, I have your hair clips here–”

“Oh never mind about those,” Betty cut in. “Tell us about the party!”

Lily sat back on the bed and tucked her legs close, raising her gaze to meet her friends’ curious faces.

“I felt a bit weird in the beginning, you know, being the odd one out. Just stood there awkwardly since Kat and Emmeline were both busy setting everything up and I didn’t want bother them. In the end I went to chat with Andrew Buchanan since I knew him from Slughorn’s get-togethers. Melody Smith and Dana Watson were with him.”

“Andrew’s a good guy,” Gwen smiled. “And Melody’s sweet.”

“And they make such a cute couple too!” Betty added.

“Watson’s always seemed really easy-going – especially for a Ravenclaw,” Marlene said, putting her book aside and rolling over in her bed.

“Yeah, I’ve always liked them,” Lily said.

“What was their common room like?” Mary asked.

“Lovely. It’s also in a tower but it’s very different from ours – airy and elegant with tall arched windows and stars painted on the ceiling.”

“That sounds really pretty.”

“It was. Dana Watson actually gave me a tour… though I guess that was just an excuse to get me alone.”

“Huh?” Gwen’s eyebrow rose. “What did Dana want?”

“She asked me about Potter, was awfully interested if there was anything going on and if Potter still fancied me.”

“Now that sounds suspicious.”

Marlene frowned. “You know, I overheard Sirius telling Remus how Watson was chumming up with James after Defence lesson on Wednesday.”

“I guess she’s aiming for James then,” Mary said.

“Wouldn’t that be perfect, though?” Betty enthused. “A Quidditch couple!”

“She’s from an opposing team though,” Gwen hummed. Finally done with sorting through her things, she closed her trunk and sat on the edge of her bed. “But yeah, I think it could work. Their personalities are a bit similar.”

“Well, it all depends on what James will do,” Marlene shrugged.

Lily hugged her pillow, wanting to hide from the side-glances her friends were throwing her way. It was none of her business who James did or did not date; besides he had decided to give up on her anyway. And that was good. It would be a relief to her if he moved on. Besides, now she too…

A slight blush coloured Lily’s cheeks and she buried her face into the pillow.

“Lily?” Mary’s voice sounded concerned. “Are you all right?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I guess so.”

“You’re holding something back, aren’t you?” Gwen guessed. “Spill it.”

“We want all the details!” Betty grinned.

“Something kind of, er, happened.”

“Oh, nice, that’s very detailed,” Marlene huffed and rolled her eyes.

Lily bit down on her lip and fought down the nervous flutter in her stomach.

“…And then after that I had to find Emmeline and Kat and ask them if they knew when they invited me to the party that he…”

“He?” Betty perked up.

“…And they were grinning and said of course they knew, that they had known for a while and that’s why they invited me in the first place! That I was the present.”

“Huh?”

“Umm, you’re rambling, Lily.”

She was, and she knew it. She took a shaky breath and collected her thoughts.

“Er, so, basically Emmeline and Kat wanted me to come to the party so I could be a present. For Connor.”

“Ehhh?”

“What?!”

“Oh my god!”

“I knew it! I _knew_ Connor was into you.”

“ _Details_ , Lily! Now!”

“Yeah, go on!”

“I was getting a bit tired so I was alone to the side of the room and Connor came to join me and I wished him happy birthday and we talked a little and then he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him.”

“What did you say?” Mary asked in a soft voice.

“I want to know what _he_ said,” Gwen countered. “How did he ask you?”

“Uh, he said it’s kind of early since the first Hogsmeade weekend won’t be for a few more weeks but that he’d really like to go with me. Then he asked: ‘May I?’”

“And?” Marlene prompted.

“And that was it,” Lily replied.

“No it bloody wasn’t, what did you say?”

“I told him yes,” Lily snapped, her cheeks glowing. “There, satisfied?”

“Yes, very,” Marlene beamed.

Gwen bounded over to Lily’s bed and hugged her.

“Well done, Lily, landing the Head Boy.”

“I didn’t ‘land’ anything,” Lily grumbled, “just agreed to go out on one date. And before you say anything, I remember all your comments from before about me having dates and not boyfriends, and I’d like to take this one step at a time, thank you.”

“Of course, Lily. We’ll support you regardless,” Mary promised with a smile.

“Also I know news like this is going to spread around the whole school, but I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t share this with anyone quite yet.”

“Can do.”

“Mum’s the word.”

“I’ll try to watch my mouth,” Betty promised. “It might be for the better, anyway. I know a couple of Hufflepuff girls who are going to hate you.”

“Oh that thought just strikes fear to my heart,” Marlene snorted

“Well… Connor is fairly popular so I figured some might not take this well, or read too much into it or whatever.” Lily shook her head.

“Actually, from what I hear, they were hoping Alice and Connor might hook up,” Betty clarified.

“What?”

“That’s insane, Alice is with Frank!”

“I’m with you, it’s pretty far-fetched. I think they just liked the idea of a Head Girl - Head Boy romance.”

“When did we ever have a Head Girl - Head Boy romance?” Gwen frowned from her seat on Lily’s bed.

“When we were second year, right?” Mary asked, turning to Lily.

“Yeah, Verena Greengrass and Osmund Teel dated for a while,” Lily replied.

“Oh, right! I remember! They had a huge falling out after Valentine’s Day and were at each other’s throats ever since.” Marlene cackled.

“That just goes to show that a Head Girl - Head Boy romance is a terrible idea. I’m so glad I was too young to be a prefect back then,” Lily muttered.

She let her head fall against Gwen’s shoulder and though it was late, the sixth year girls chatted and giggled for quite a while longer.

 

 

* * *

 

 

James Potter’s face was thunderous as he stormed into the sixth year boys’ dormitory early Monday morning. He forcefully banged the door shut behind him, startling Peter out of his sleep.

“Who the fuck is Gilderoy Lockart and where can I find him?” James snarled, his hands balled into fists and shaking.

“Good morning to you too, Prongs,” Sirius wished cheerfully from the bathroom.

“Gilderoy Lockhart?” Remus mumbled, breaking into a yawn. “That name sounds vaguely familiar.”

Peter rubbed his eyes and blindly groped for the piece of parchment lying on his bedside table.

“What did he do?” Sirius asked, appearing to the bathroom doorway. “Cosy up to Evans?”

“No,” James hissed, his hazel eyes blazing with uncharacteristic fury. “The bloody bastard mutilated the Quidditch pitch!”

“What?”

“Mutilated how?”

“Carved his fucking _name_ on it, in huge letters.”

“What?” Remus repeated dully, wondering if he was still half asleep.

Sirius gaped at James and then let out a low whistle. “What a wanker.”

Peter was blinking blearily at the Marauder’s Map now lying across his lap, while James started to pace, still ranting in outrage.

“Dunno who he is, but I can tell you where you can find him,” Peter said after a while, having finally spotted the right dot on the map. “He’s up in Flitwick’s office with McGonagall.”

“Caught already?” Sirius snorted. “That was fast.”

“I doubt he was trying to get away with it. It’s hardly subtle, using his own name,” Remus pointed out.

“Flitwick’s office? Let me see.” James marched over to Peter’s bed and snatched the map from him. He glared at the name labelling Lockhart’s dot as if it was something highly offensive. “Guess he’s a Ravenclaw then.”

“Pity. Flitwick’s punishments are a joke,” Sirius grumbled.

“Well McGonagall’s there. Hopefully she can give him hell,” Peter said.

“I’m sure she will,” Remus said. “She won’t forgive anyone who messes with Quidditch.”

“It’s not enough,” James scoffed. “No matter how many detentions he’ll get, it won’t be enough.”

“Well, it all works out perfectly then,” Sirius grinned. “We’ve been back for a month and haven’t managed any mayhem.”

“Given all this schoolwork we’re saddled with, that’s hardly a surprise,” Remus muttered.

James changed into his school robes and plopped down onto his bed, his outburst of anger giving way to sullen silence. Sirius was right, the infamous Marauders had actually managed to stay out of trouble for the whole of September.

In between the N.E.W.T. classes and his Quidditch captain duties, there wasn’t as much time left for mischief… though if James was honest to himself, that was not the main reason he had been lying low.

Last year had left a bad taste in his mouth. The last prank any of them had pulled had been Sirius’ insane stunt of luring Snape down into the secret passage under the Whomping Willow. After that and the resulting fallout, most of the spring had been an uneasy time. They were busy preparing for the O.W.L.s, James had been telling himself… but the truth was that something had irrevocably changed, small cracks of doubt had appeared in the friendships that had never wavered before.

“I believe it’s time to dust off our thinking caps. What do you say, gentlemen?”

James looked up at Sirius and then decisively stamped down his moody thoughts.

“I say that someone who crosses a Marauder does so at their own peril.”

“Well said, Prongs my lad. Let’s cook up a proper prank of vengeance.”

“Can’t we do this later?” Peter complained. “We haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

“There’s no time like present, my dear Wormtail!”

“You’re being way too chipper for Monday morning, Sirius.”

“And you, Moony, need to cheer up. It’s time for some good old plotting!”

Remus grunted and trudged into the bathroom, pulling the door firmly shut behind him.

Sirius’ eyebrow quirked up as he turned to James, “What’s his problem?”

“Five days left until full moon,” James replied in a low voice.

“Oh, right.”

“Well, at least this time it’s on Friday,” Peter sighed. “He won’t have to worry about missing lessons.”

“We can plan for that later. Right now we need ideas to avenge Prongs’ beloved Quidditch pitch.”

The vision of the crude cursive letters carved into the green grass swam before James' eyes again and he gritted his teeth.

"I demand public humiliation," he seethed.

"Public humiliation is the best kind of humiliation," Sirius remarked cheerfully. "I vote for warts."

“Warts alone won’t do,” James said. “Perhaps we should take a leaf out of Evans’ book and shower him with stinksap.”

“Ooh, nice! That’s definitely an option. You got any suggestions, Pete?”

“I don’t know… I feel like we’re approaching this the wrong way…”

“Huh?” Sirius blinked.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just… Like Remus said, this guy wanted to get caught, using his name like that. I’m pretty sure he did it to get attention,” Peter explained, gnawing on his lip.

“Yeah, I guess…” James conceded, though his voice remained dubious.

“So, shouldn’t the most fitting revenge for him do the opposite?”

“You might be onto something there, Peter.”

“So what are you saying we should do? Erase him from the existence?” James scowled.

“I doubt we can go around obliviating people,” Sirius agreed.

“I was thinking more along the lines of disillusionment and silencing charms,” Peter said, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

James and Sirius turned to look at each other and Sirius smirked.

“Simple sounds good to me.”

“I think those two charms are something we could actually pull off.”

“It might be best to do it right away, too,” Peter said. “News travels fast and a stunt like this will have the school in a buzz.”

“Who would have thought – our Wormtail, an evil mastermind!”

Peter blushed as Sirius patted him on the shoulder.

“Right,” James decided. He stuffed the map into his pocket. “I won’t let him gloat and be the centre of gossip,” he muttered as he grabbed his invisibility cloak from his trunk.

“Good luck!”

“Hope the revenge tastes sweet.”

“I’ll see you at breakfast,” James promised and left the dormitory.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lily fiddled with the sleeves of her robe as she walked down from the Gryffindor tower. It was Wednesday evening and she was feeling nervous. Since the party on Saturday, she had seen only glimpses of Connor in passing, but now she was heading down to the prefects’ meeting where she’d actually have to face him. She stole a glance at Remus, walking beside her. He wasn’t looking too perky either, his face was lined and paler than usual.

Lily bit her lip and let the first thing crossing her mind slip out.

“I heard they’ve fixed the Quidditch pitch.”

“Yeah, James was over the moon.”

“I can only imagine. Gwen was very relieved too, she was so pissed off when she heard about it.”

A wry smile rose to Remus’ lips, smoothing the lines on his face.

“You got off easy then. James goes on a jog every morning, you know? He actually saw the pitch, he was livid.”

“I doubt even Potter could have held a candle to professor McGonagall. If Lockhart was in Gryffindor, I’m sure he wouldn’t have got off with just a week’s worth of detentions.”

Remus laughed.

“I think you’re right. I almost wish I could’ve seen her face. I’ve received an angry lecture from McGonagall plenty of times, but even so I can only imagine what an earful this Lockhart bloke got from her.”

“I heard he got more than an earful, though. Marlene mentioned that Black got himself a detention, too; something about warts? Well, I guess he deserved it for being a prat.”

“Who, Lockhart or Sirius?”

“Both,” Lily smirked. “And I guess it could’ve been worse, for a moment I was afraid Gwen was going to resort to physical violence.”

“I had the same thought when I saw James on Monday morning.”

“Why do sensible people like us keep these Quidditch lunatics around, eh?”

“They can be useful from time to time,” Remus shrugged, as they started to descend the stairs. “Sometimes it’s more convenient to let the brawn do the work so that the brain can rest.”

Lily’s bright peal of laughter echoed in the staircase as they reached the landing.

“What’s so funny?” a voice inquired from behind them, and the two turned to see Benjy Fenwick, the seventh year Gryffindor prefect, coming down the stairs.

“We were discussing the case of Gilderoy Lockhart and the destroyed Quidditch pitch,” Remus said.

“Oh, not you too,” Benjy groaned. “I’ve heard enough of the both of them for a lifetime, Marcus has been ranting and raving like a right lunatic.”

“Maybe we could start a club. ‘The suffering sensible friends of Quidditch lunatics’,” Lily quipped.

“Sounds good to me, where do I sign?”

“I’ll tell you where not to sign,” Remus said, a grin tugging at his lips, “on the Quidditch pitch.”

The three of them burst into laughter. Lily leaned on Remus’ arm and clutched at her stomach.

“Seriously, this whole thing is daft,” Benjy shook his head. “Who would carve their signature _anywhere_ – with twenty-foot-long letters?”

“Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart would,” Remus deadpanned, “and I’m sure he will go on to do great things.”

Benjy snorted.

The three of them rounded a corner and Lily’s merry mood dampened quickly. Further ahead, the door to an empty classroom was open, flooding the corridor with bright light and a murmur of voices. How many yards, how many steps, until she’d be face to face with Connor again? Had the rumours already gone wild, did everyone at the prefect meeting already know that she had a date with the Head Boy? No one had come to ask her about the date and she hadn’t noticed people staring at her, but still, the gossip could break out at any moment…

Lily gnawed on her lip.

“All right, Lily? You got quiet all of a sudden.”

“Ah, I’m fine, thanks. Just getting ready to don the cap of a serious and responsible student once again.” She adjusted the red-and-silver prefect’s badge adorning her robes and offered Benjy a tight smile.

“You’re right. Jokes are over, it’s time to get back to work.”

With a wry grin, Benjy walked into the classroom.

Lily hesitated for a moment before she followed him and Remus inside.

“You look a bit pale, Remus, are you all right?” Alice was asking as Lily walked over to them.

“I’m not sure, I might be coming down with something.”

“It’s the season,” Alice nodded gravely. “Seems like people are sniffing and coughing left and right. Go see Madam Pomfrey, all right? A nice pepper-up potion will fix you up right away.”

“Yeah, I think I will. Thanks.”

Connor was sitting next to Alice, and he flashed Lily a quick smile as their eyes met.

Lily’s fingers dug into the folds of her robes and she returned his smile.

“Hi,” she managed, hoping she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt.

“Good to see you,” Connor replied. The words themselves were casual, the tone with which they had been spoken, however, was not. Connor’s voice had been warm and sweet, and there suddenly was a nervous flutter in the pit of Lily’s stomach.

“Please go take a seat,” Alice said to her and Remus, “we’re starting soon.”

They did as told, and as soon as they sat down, Remus leaned close.

“Did you smell perfume on Benjy or was it just me?” he asked in a soft whisper.

The question caught Lily off guard; though she felt relieved Remus hadn’t asked her about Connor.

“I’m not sure,” she frowned, stealing a glance at Benjy from across the room. “I didn’t really pay attention.”

The room was filling up, and after the last prefect, a flustered fifth year Hufflepuff, finally arrived and took her seat, Connor stood up and closed the door with a flick of his wand.

“All right, everyone! There are two important things coming up this month. The first Hogsmeade visit of the year will be on Saturday two weeks from now.”

Connor’s gaze flickered into Lily’s direction, and she felt the heat rising to her cheeks.

“I want you guys to have fun, but also remember that you are prefects. Set an example and keep an eye out for any rule-breaking, all right?”

“The second thing, as you all know,” Alice spoke with a smile, “is the Halloween feast at the end of the month. We’d like to have a few volunteers to lend us a hand with the decorations. Who would be willing to help?”

Lily surveyed the show of hands in the room. Almost all the Hufflepuffs had their hands raised, a stark contrast to Slytherins of which only two were volunteering; a fifth year girl, Tessa, and – to Lily’s surprise – Adeleine Blastock.

“Great, that’s enough. Thank you all,” Alice said, marking down the names. “Now, next order of business.”

Lily prepared her quill and stared down at her parchment, forcing herself to focus.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After lunch on Thursday afternoon, Lily and Mary were slowly making their way to the double Potions in the dungeons.

“I’m so full,” Mary moaned, “I feel like I’m gonna fall asleep mid-lesson.”

“Aww, poor you. It’s annoying when you start feeling sleepy in the middle of the day.”

“The dim lights and the warm vapours won’t be much help to keep me awake.”

“I’ll make sure you won’t fall asleep,” Lily promised, a small smile playing on her lips. “By the way, do you know what’s going on with Marlene?”

“No,” Mary frowned. “I’ve been wondering about her, too.”

“She dashed off so quickly and she doesn’t even have a lesson after lunch.”

“Yeah, it’s weird,” Mary agreed. “Seems like half the time she’s off somewhere on her own.”

“The other day, I heard her humming. In the _morning_. Something’s dodgy for sure.”

“I feel like something’s going on with Remus, too. He seemed really pale earlier.”

“He said he’s coming down with something, yesterday when we were in the meeting,” Lily replied. “He said he’d go to the hospital wing, so I guess he’ll try to soldier through today’s classes and then rest for the weekend.”

“Well I hope he gets better.”

“Me too,” Lily said, though the words felt hollow.

Ahead in the corridor, a scattering of students were waiting outside the classroom for Slughorn. Andrew Buchanan gave Lily a small wave, which she returned. She felt Snape’s gaze snap to her direction as she and Mary took a spot by the wall. She was careful not to look at him, her chest heavy. Even being in the same room with Snape was painful these days, all the emotions his presence brought to her were still so raw and fresh and horribly tangled. She knew that one day she would have to sort it all out, but today was not that day.

Mary’s nudge brought her out of her lost thoughts, and Lily found herself blinking at the soft blue eyes of Dale Hudson, a Hufflepuff she vaguely knew from the Slug Club meetings.

“Hi, Lily,” he said, his voice a bit breathless.

“Hi, Dale.”

“Er… I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go to Hogsmeade. With me. Um, if you don’t have any other plans.”

“Uh,” Lily replied eloquently. She looked at Dale’s earnest face and bit her lip. “I’m really flattered, but I already promised to go with someone else, sorry.”

Dale rubbed his neck. “Oh, that’s fine. I figured you might have plans.”

Lily ignored the loud sniff issuing from Adeleine Blastock’s direction and flashed Dale an apologetic smile.

“Thanks for asking me, though.”

“Yeah.” He returned her smile a bit shakily and walked away.

Lily turned to Mary and realised that James Potter was standing just a few feet away from her. Her jaw slackened but then Slughorn was there, amiably shuffling down the corridor. He opened the door to the classroom and students began to file in. Lily followed Mary inside, her stomach sinking.

She had just taken her seat at their regular working table, when James sat down next to her.

“Popular as always, Evans,” he grinned wryly, propping his elbows on the table. “Two weeks till Hogsmeade and you’ve already got yourself a date? Impressive. Or were you just letting Hudson there down gently?”

“No, I do actually have a date,” Lily replied, keeping her gaze firmly on the cauldron she was setting up. Her stomach still felt tight; she had not wanted James to find out like that, even if he had said he was giving up on her.

“Early bird got the worm I guess,” James said in a light tone. “Who’re you going with?”

“Connor Matheson. He asked me out.”

“The Head Boy, huh? As expected.”

Lily didn’t care for Potter’s tone of voice. Something about it sent her temper flaring. Was he implying she was a swot? She could feel Mary’s and Remus’ gazes on her, but there was no stopping her now.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she hissed, fighting to keep her voice low.

Slughorn had already began the lesson but Lily paid him no heed, too busy glaring at Potter.

James shrugged, the corner of his lips twitching. “Nothing. You’ve got the bar raised quite high, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I just agreed to go on a date,” Lily retorted, her green eyes flashing. And then, not the first or the last time in her life, her tongue struck faster and sharper than her conscience. “Don’t be so bitter just because I turned you down.”

She saw James’ jaw clench. His hazel eyes darkened and narrowed behind his glasses and his body seemed to grow taut; for a moment she was sure he was going to curse her - but then with almost a violent jerk he turned away from her to resolutely glare at Slughorn, his shoulders tense and his hands curled tight into fists.

All fight gone out of her, Lily slumped in her seat and hid behind her textbook. With the anger quickly draining out of her, all she was left with was the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

 


	9. Caught Off Guard

* * *

_It's hasn't always been_  
_The best of times_  
_But if you'd ask_  
_I'd do it all again_

**\- Hoobastank:** You’re the One

* * *

James Potter woke up on Saturday morning, feeling wretched, sore and exhausted. He would have very much liked to roll over and stay in bed until noon, but the aching pang of his painfully empty belly forced him to sit up and run a weary hand through his mess of hair. He groped for his glasses and perched them haphazardly on the bridge of his nose, his bleary gaze sweeping over the dormitory. The curtains of Peter's bed were drawn, but James could hear his soft snores. Sirius was cocooned in his blankets, but Remus' bed was empty, untouched.

James swung his legs over the edge of the mattress and pulled on his socks. No morning jog today, he thought wryly as the simple motion made him wince. He had a fresh set of scars slashing across his shoulder blades.  

Yawning, James dressed and tucked his wand in his sleeve before he pulled his Invisibility Cloak over him. Usually he was a morning person, but today he was in no mood to deal with people other than his mates. Although their monthly excursions always filled him with excitement over the prospect and promise of adventure, the morning after was a different story. Once all that thrill and adrenaline had ebbed away the only thing left was emptiness. It wasn’t even the lack of sleep, but the sharp reminder of the cross his friend had to bear. No matter how many times James had witnessed Remus’ painful transformation, it was still a harrowing experience; the unfairness of it still rattled him.

James crossed the Common room and slipped out of the portrait hole after a pair of second years. Breakfast would be over by now, but that was not a problem for James; Peter had discovered how to get to the kitchens in the spring of their third year. Besides, the house elves loved him.

As James made his way down the flights of stairs, his thoughts idly wandering, he suddenly recalled the unfortunate Potions lesson from Thursday afternoon. Once again, he had made a complete arse out of himself in front of Lily Evans. He supposed that their tentative peaceful – almost friendly – coexistence would have dissolved sooner or later; that given her quick temper and his inherent ability to get on her nerves, it would have only been a matter of time until they would start fighting again.

Even so, Evans’ cutting remark still rankled. James gritted his teeth. He had not expected her to so expertly find his soft spot to sink her verbal dagger into. But it wasn’t Evans he was so irritated with – much as he wanted to be. He couldn’t blame her for getting angry with him; he was the one who had started it, acting like a right berk. Besides, the reason why Evans’ parting retort had been so hurtful was because it had been true: he _was_ bitter.

And there was the crux of James’ problem.

He had declared his feelings futile and decided to stop fancying Lily Evans. Slowly, over the course of past weeks when their occasional interactions had been downright amicable, he had started to feel a glimmer of hope. That maybe, one day, he and Evans might become friends.

But there had been nothing friendly about his reaction to the news that Evans had a date with Connor Matheson.

James understood that he couldn't just stop liking Lily that easily, he had told Peter as much. There was no magic button to push that would make his feelings go away. Still, he wished it wouldn't be so hard; he had been trying, honestly trying to get over her. For a moment, he had even thought he was succeeding – but then he had overheard Dale Hudson asking Evans out and felt the familiar stirring of jealousy slithering deep in his gut. He wanted to have nothing to do with such a petty, venomous emotion. Fancying Evans only gave him heartache and he was done with that.

His shoulders slumping, James tiptoed down the main staircase. He took a sharp left, and disappeared through a door into a torch-lit corridor. Reaching a painting of a bowl of fruit, he finally pulled off his Invisibility Cloak and stuffed it into his pocket. He tickled the painted pear, which, accompanied by a fit of giggles, turned into a doorknob. James took a breath and pushed the door open.

A cavernous room with a big fireplace and heaps of brass pots along the walls, he had always found the kitchen a cosy place.

“Excuse me,” he called politely to the scurrying house-elves, busy at their work. “I missed breakfast and was wondering if –”

Four house-elves tottered over to him right away, bearing a silver tray. James’ empty stomach growled piteously at the sight of the plate laden with full English breakfast and a pot of coffee.

“It looks delicious, cheers,” he beamed, and the house-elves bowed deep before hurrying back to scrubbing pans and polishing cutlery. Sitting on the edge of the long table, an exact replica of the one up in the Great Hall, James ate his breakfast and savoured every last sip of the bitter coffee.

Food in his belly and caffeine in his system, the day was slowly starting to look nicer, and James decided he’d go to see how Remus was faring up in the Hospital Wing. He wrapped a couple of biscuits into a napkin and tucked it into his cloak’s pocket. Thanking the house-elves one more time, James left the kitchens in a brighter mood than he had entered them.

On his way up the corridor and the staircase, his thoughts once again returned to the root of all his woes: Lily Evans.

One way or another, he’d have to make it stop; stamp down the jealousy, ignore the giddy nervous flutters he got sometimes. It just wasn’t worth it anymore, he had enough heartache to last him a lifetime. It was time to move on. And to start with, he should apologise for being an arse to her. He’d try harder, try to be better, and maybe, hopefully, they could become friends.

James paused at the double doors of the Hospital Wing. Remus tend to be withdrawn after his transformations, and for a moment James hesitated, his need to check up on his friend warring against respecting his privacy.

He’d just have a quick peek, James decided. If it seemed like Remus wanted to be left alone, he’d just leave.

James tried to be quiet as he slipped through the doors into the room, but a creak alerted Remus and he instantly sat up in his narrow cot. His gaze swept across the room, trying to see the visitor.

Still hiding under his Invisibility Cloak, James silently crossed the room and sat down at the foot of his bed.

“Who is it?” Remus asked in an undertone, staring at the dip of his mattress.

“Me,” James replied. “How’s your cold?”

“Better,” Remus said, dry humour touching his eyes for a fleeting second. “Madam Pomfrey looked me over this morning and gave me a clean bill of health. I’m free to leave, actually, but I wanted to rest a while longer.”

“Understandable, “James nodded, even though Remus couldn’t see the gesture. “Here, I brought you biscuits.”

“Cheers.” Remus picked up the three biscuits James had tossed onto his covers. “How’re Sirius and Peter?”

“Still sleeping when I left.”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. I envy those two, they never seem to have any trouble sleeping.”

“Tell me about it. I would’ve loved to sleep longer myself but I had to go get food. Did they feed you here?”

“Yeah, I got a sandwich.”

“Real food in the Hospital Wing?” James grinned. “You must be special.”

“Of course I am,” Remus said, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “I’m a regular after all. But thanks for bringing me dessert.” Remus held up a biscuit and then bit into it.

“No problem,” James said lightly. “I’m just glad to see you’re all right.”

“I’m as well as I’ll ever be,” Remus shrugged. He offered James another wan smile but this one was weaker and faltered before reaching his haunted eyes.

James wanted to protest: there was always hope and no one knew what future might bring. Perhaps one day there might even be a cure. The words already danced at the tip of his tongue, but he could tell Remus was in no mood for pep talks or hopeful encouragement – so James clenched his jaw and said nothing.

Thankfully, his silence seemed to be enough of a comfort, since the bitter lines wrought on Remus’ pale scarred face eased, and the shadows in his eyes ebbed away.

“Thank you, James,” he whispered in an earnest voice.

Tight pain pricked James’ chest and it took him a moment to muster a light-hearted, carefree tone.

“Really now,” he spoke at last, “the biscuits were no trouble, no need to thank me twice for those.”

Remus shook his head. A smile touched his lips, this one decidedly more sincere than his earlier attempts.

 

* * *

 

The news had leaked and spread around the school over the weekend, and Monday lunchtime found Lily staring at her plate and squirming in her seat. She could hear the buzz of whispers around her, feel the eyes staring; some speculative, some curious, some in contempt. She had known this would happen; knew all too well that the Hogwarts rumour mill couldn’t be stopped, and now that all the excitement following last week’s Quidditch pitch debacle was ebbing away, the spotlight of the school gossip had moved from Gilderoy Lockhart to her and Connor.

Lily hated every second of it. She did not mind being in the centre of the attention in principle – she was no wallflower, and had never been shy to participate in their lessons. However, she only welcomed it when it was well-earned, such as getting recognition for her academic accomplishments. To be the focus of her fellow students’ interest because of who she had agreed to date? That was wholly another matter.

Hogwarts was similar to any other boarding school; the student body was small and tight-knit, sharing the same quarters for months on end, which did not make keeping secrets easy. Gossip was the students’ primary form of entertainment, a way to distract themselves from schoolwork. Lily understood all of this, but that didn’t mean she approved of it or liked it... She was not comfortable with her love life being under public scrutiny.

Even so, she might have been able to bear it if it had been just whispered conversations barely in her earshot or long stares cast in her way during meal times. Unfortunately, that was not the case. The curiosity followed her down the corridors, and into the classrooms, even the Gryffindor Tower – just before coming down for lunch, two giggling second year girls had congratulated her on her upcoming date.

Lily pushed her mashed potatoes around her plate, too distracted to listen to her friends’ conversations. She probably wasn’t missing out anyway; Marlene and Gwen were bickering as always. Lily sighed. She did not have much of an appetite, too aware of her fellow students’ rapt attention, but she forced the lunch down anyway. The quicker she ate, the sooner she could get away from the Great Hall and all the eyes closely watching her. She told her friends she was going ahead and hastened upstairs to the Ancient Runes classroom in the second floor. Gwen joined her a moment later.

“What’s going on, Lily? You were quiet at lunch and left in a hurry.”

“It’s nothing. I just don’t like being the main topic of school gossip.”

“I know.” Gwen patted Lily’s shoulder. “Just grit your teeth and bear with it. In a couple of days the rumour mill will have something else to talk about. Last week was Lockhart, this week you and Connor, next week it’ll be someone else.”

“That’s true,” Lily said, giving Gwen a small smile. “Thanks.”

Professor Babbling’s arrival ended the girls’ conversation, and they followed the other students into the classroom. The double lesson went without an incident – until after the class had finally been dismissed, Florence Langton appeared at Lily’s desk.

“Hi Lily,” she greeted with a friendly smile.

“Hi Florence,” Lily replied, a little on guard. Though they were both prefects and in the same year, she only really knew her in passing.

“So… I heard Dale Hudson asked you out last Friday.”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Too bad you already had a date, huh?”

“For him at least,” Lily muttered, stuffing the heavy tome of runes into her schoolbag.

Florence tittered.

“I know right! Dale’s not bad, but he couldn’t hold a candle to Connor in a million years.”

Lily didn’t reply, but Florence didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Everyone’s jealous of you, and for a good reason!” Florence shook her head and nudged Lily’s shoulder. “Connor is so dreamy!”

“Yeah, he’s a great guy,” Lily replied half-heartedly, swinging her bag over her shoulder. She started to head out of the classroom, hoping the awkward conversation was over.

But Florence proved her wrong, following her out of the room. Lily shot a desperate glance towards Gwen who was waiting for her out in the corridor. She shrugged apologetically and mouthed ‘bathroom’ before hurrying away.

Florence walked half a step behind Lily and leaned closer, talking in a conspiratorial whisper. “I actually asked Connor out myself last year. He said no, though.”

“Um, that’s too bad,” Lily offered. She didn’t know how to respond to such a comment, and why was Florence telling her this in the first place?

“I don’t think he’s dated anyone since Suzie Bellamy. You’re so lucky!”

“I guess I am,” Lily agreed. Rounding a corner, she remembered how Gwen had abandoned her earlier and Lily stopped on her tracks as sudden inspiration struck her. Turning to Florence, she said: “Hey, listen, I’d love to stick around and chat, but I need to visit the ladies’.”

“Oh, sure!” Florence’s smile faltered and she glanced at the bathroom door to their left. “You’re not going in _there_ are you?”

“It’s the closest,” Lily shrugged. “And I really need to go.”

“Well, all right. Try not to let Myrtle bother you.”

“I’ll try. Thanks Florence.”

“Bye, Lily, talk to you soon!”

Lily plastered a parting smile to her lips and quickly ducked into the safety of the bathroom.

“God, I really hope not,” she groaned as soon as the door closed behind her. She really didn’t need to have people cosying up to her just because she had agreed to go on a date with the Head Boy. Didn’t they have anything better to do with their time?

Idly rubbing her temple, Lily raised her gaze and saw the pale blue-grey eyes of Adeleine Blastock, who was standing by the sinks and staring right back at her.

_Bollocks_ , Lily cursed internally as she looked at the Slytherin prefect. Just her luck to bump right into one of the people she least wanted to see. And what was she doing here anyway? No one came into the second floor girl’s bathroom, that’s what had made it such a perfect hideout for dodging Florence. No one wanted to use a loo haunted by a pessimistic ghost; even now, Moaning Myrtle’s sobs sounded from three stalls down.

Adeleine drew herself straighter, and something in her expression caught Lily’s attention. Her head hung. A shadow fell over her eyes, lips pressed into a tight line.

Then, she drew a shuddering breath. “Evans –”

Lily’s hands balled into fists. Whatever Adeleine Blastock had to say, it couldn’t be anything good and Lily didn’t want to hear it. Before she could get another word from her mouth, Lily fell against the door and slipped out into the corridor. Clutching the strap of her schoolbag, she rushed up the stairs and didn’t stop until she was safe in the Gryffindor Tower. At least in her dormitory she’d be away from the prying eyes and the gossiping tongues.

 

* * *

 

Lily stifled a yawn and rolled her shoulders as she strolled along the corridor.

“In the future, let’s try to avoid the Thursday slot,” she grumbled to Remus, who walked beside her. “I’m so knackered after such a long day of lessons I don’t think I’ll be much good for patrols.”

“I’m tired too,” Remus said. “And I still haven’t recovered from today’s double Potions. My brew refused to turn violet no matter what I tried. I don’t even know what happened, I followed the instructions the best I could.”

“It’s far from easy, even with the instructions… All these advanced potions seem to take weeks to brew and have so many steps that it’s easy to miss one.” Lily shook her head. “To put in all that effort only to fail is devastating.”

“And how would you know, with your perfect marks?” Remus teased, nudging her ribs with his elbow. “You’re Slughorn’s praised Potions prodigy.”

Lily shrugged, her green eyes laughing. “What can I say, I can’t contain my genius.”

“You shouldn’t,” Remus said with a small smile. “And hey, at least we’ll be able to sleep in tomorrow.”

“That’s true,” Lily said, returning his smile.

A brief silence fell, and Remus cast a thoughtful look down the corridor.

“It looks pretty deserted here, let’s check out the next floor,” he suggested.

“All right.”

The two of them walked over to the moving staircase. As they stood on the landing, waiting for the stairs to come to them, Lily studied Remus out of the corner of her eye – but then he turned and caught her staring.

“Go ahead,” he prompted, his eyebrow quirking.

“It’s nothing,” she said, a blush rising to her cheeks.

“You’re wondering about last Friday?” he asked astutely.

“I just wanted to know if you were all right,” Lily muttered.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be all right.” Remus smiled, but it was faint and wry, more a ghost of a smile than a real one.

Lily’s green eyes flashed and her jaw set. “You seem all right to me,” she replied, folding her arms across her chest.

“You know what I am,” he said, turning away from her. He stepped on the staircase as it finally landed and Lily rushed after him.

“Yes, and I’m honoured you trusted me with your secret,” she spoke, stopping to stand by his side as the staircase started moving up. “But I told you then and I will tell you now: there is nothing wrong with you, Remus.”

Remus looked at her, and then heaved a sigh. His shoulders slumped and his eyes softened.

“I really wonder sometimes what I’ve done to deserve friends like you.”

“You’re a kind, selfless and brave man, Remus. You deserve everything good in the world. Don’t let this one thing that’s out of your control define you.”

Remus shook his head but at last there was a genuine smile playing on his lips and lighting his pale face.

“Next you’ll probably start calling it my ‘furry little problem’ like James does.”

Lily stepped off the stairs and started to cross the landing after Remus.

“Well,” she said, laughter bubbling in her chest, “you know it must be serious if Potter and I agree on it.”

“Fair point,” Remus chuckled.

For the rest of their patrol, the two of them continued making amiable small talk, and commiserate on various subjects such as difficult lessons, excessive homework, and persistent rumours. They were making their way through sixth floor to get to the stairs going up to the seventh, quite ready to call it a night, when an errant giggle broke the stillness of the drowsing castle.

Lily and Remus shared a look and then, wands at ready, crept up the corridor, keeping as quiet as they could. A low murmur of voices followed the giggle, all sounds coming from an empty classroom ahead on the left.

“Care to take any bets as to what’s going on in there?” Remus whispered to Lily.

“I can hear a male and a female, so we’d better knock before ruining the party,” she replied in equally hushed tones.

Remus raised his fist and quickly grinned at Lily before he rapped his knuckles against the wooden door.

Deaf silence followed the knock, and then he swung the door open.

“All right people, fun’s over! You know breaking curfew is an instant ticket to – Benjy?”

Lily stood on her tiptoes to peek over Remus’ shoulder into the classroom. True enough, a very sheepish Benjy Fenwick stood in the middle of the room.

Lily swallowed a sigh. Deducting points off her own House felt much like shooting herself in the leg, at least as far as the House Cup was considered.

“I thought you’d have already finished with your patrol,” Benjy offered, rubbing his neck.

“If you had waited another five minutes, we very well might have,” Lily snorted.

“Congrats, mate, that’s a detention right there,” Remus said, earning a grimace from the older prefect.

Lily scanned the dim room. The giggle had been clearly female, but there didn’t seem to be anyone but Benjy in the room. Could she be hiding behind his back? Lily’s eyebrows arched. As if that would save her!

“Your girlfriend’s also earned herself detention,” Lily told Benjy. “So might as well give it up now, no use playing shy.”

A loud sigh issued from somewhere behind Benjy, and then a defeated blonde witch stepped out, hanging her head.

Lily’s jaw dropped.

“ _Marlene_!”

“Hey, Lily.”

“Don’t you ‘hey, Lily’ me, Missy!” Lily snapped, her green eyes dangerously narrow. “I knew something was going on with you, but this…! I never thought you’d be holding something this huge from me!”

Marlene grimaced.

“Lily, please–”

“Shush!” Lily could feel both Remus’ and Benjy’s wary stares boring into her but paid them no heed. It wasn’t the boys she had a bone to pick with. She kept her glare on Marlene, her balled fists finding a firm perch on her hips. “How long has this been going on?”

Marlene bit her lip and peered down at her toes. “Since summer break.”

Lily’s eyes widened. “Since summer – Marlene!”

“I wanted to tell you, I really did!” she said, wringing her hands. “But I couldn’t, not to you, not to anyone. How do you think Marcus will react once he hears his best friend has been shagging his little sister?”

“Badly, since you two have been going behind his back for months,” Lily quipped.

“But we had to keep it a secret!”

Lily shook her head and opened her mouth, when the comforting weight of Remus’ hand settled on her tense shoulder.

She slanted him a quick glance, taking in his arched eyebrow and patient eyes.

“It’s late,” Remus said. “We should all head back to our dorms.”

With a sigh, Lily let her hands drop from her hips and nodded, her gaze flicking between Benjy and Marlene.

“All right, let’s go,” she said curtly.

But Marlene didn’t move. She studied Lily, her brown eyes guarded. “…Are you gonna tell Marcus?”

“No,” Lily huffed, “I’ll keep your little secret for now. But we’re going to talk about this later – in detail. Now move your arse.”

With a quick smile of relief and thumb up for Benjy, Marlene hastened after her friend.

 

* * *

 

Friday evening loomed murky and dreary. Though they had been spared from thunder and hail, it had been raining since early afternoon and the wind was both cold and strong as it snapped at James’ muddy Quidditch robes. Tired after an intense but satisfying practice, he trudged up toward the castle, his broomstick slung on his shoulders. He was looking forward to a good long soak in the Prefect’s bathroom, hoping the warm water would ease his chilly bones and aching muscles. Reaching the doors, James shifted his broom and set his shoulder against the heavy oak. He pushed the door open and stepped into the castle.

This time on a Friday evening, James would’ve expected to find the entrance hall empty and deserted, but that wasn’t the case. A lone figure stood by the marble staircase, leaning against the railing. James wiped his fogged up glasses on the front of his robes and blinked as the blurry figure became Dana Watson.

“Hi there,” she greeted him with a generous flash of dimples.

“Hullo, Watson. What’re you up to, waiting for someone?”

“Funny you should ask,” she said and gave him another smile. “I was waiting for you, actually.”

James’ hand jumped into his hair, flattened by the rain. “I thought we had already established I’m not giving out any Quidditch secrets. You’re formidable enough opponents without me revealing our winning strategy.”

“Eh, we wouldn’t want an easy win anyway,” Dana quipped.

“Now you’re sounding like a Hufflepuff,” James returned with a teasing grin.

Dana shook her head and giggled. “I guess I am.”

“So, with Quidditch secrets off the table, is there anything else I could help you with?”

“Yes.” There was an odd twinkle in her eye which sent James’ mind racing – but before he could identify that curious look, Dana spoke again. “You could take me to Hogsmeade next week.”

James blinked rapidly. His grip slackened, but somehow he managed to recover before he dropped his broomstick. “I, er – Pardon?”

“Hogsmeade weekend’s next week. We should go together. Like a date,” Dana clarified, her eyes laughing and cheeks dimpling.

The initial shock of her proposition was wearing off though the disbelief was still firmly present. Sure Watson was attractive, but he didn’t really fancy her or anything – furthermore, he would’ve never even imagined _she_ would fancy him. But apparently, she did. James scratched his head and stared at her helplessly.

Then, he shrugged his shoulders. There was only one reply he could give to a fit, funny girl who also happened to be a stellar Seeker.

“Sure. That sounds great.”

 


	10. Apologies

Chapter Ten - Apologies

 

Disbelief was still the foremost emotion clouding James’ mind as he made his way up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower. It hadn’t really sunk in yet that he had a date – and with Dana Watson! A week from now he’d likely be a nervous wreck. Much of the smooth confidence he tried to portray was a shallow front; deep down he was just a simple, bumbling bloke. He’d only been on a few dates before and hadn’t really had a girlfriend. Until fourth year, he hadn’t paid much attention to girls, and since the start of fifth year his sights had been solely focused on Evans…

His stomach gave a guilty lurch and James’ fingers twitched. He still hadn’t apologised to her after their row last week. He wanted to, but there had never been a good time. It seemed impossible to catch her alone, when he saw her in class or at meal times she always had her friends around her – and at other times he hadn’t seen her at all.

But his delayed apology wasn’t the only cause for guilt. James tugged at his damp hair, heading up to the seventh floor. If he was perfectly honest with himself, though he liked Dana Watson and though she was fit, there was a part of him that also hoped that by going out with her he might finally be able to put his feelings for Evans behind him and move on.

Stopping in front of the Fat Lady’s portrait, he heaved a sigh and then gave the password, earning a quick smile from the Fat Lady as she swung forward.

Climbing through the portrait hole, all thoughts of Dana Watson fled from James’ mind. Across the Common Room, in a red armchair by the fireplace, sat Lily Evans, her red hair falling in a curtain as she skimmed through a piece of parchment, her brow creased in concentration.

James swallowed and made a beeline for her, stopping a few feet away.

“Evening, Evans.”

She looked up, her face growing carefully blank as she saw him.

“Potter,” she replied, her voice neutral.

James hesitated a moment, scuffing his feet.

“Do you have a moment?”

“I suppose,” she conceded, setting the piece of parchment down on her lap.

James took a seat on the nearby sofa and laid down his broomstick, trying to find the easy confidence to hide behind.

“Fancy seeing you here,” was what he finally came up with.

“In the Common Room?” she asked, her voice dry and eyebrow arching. “I thought you’d have noticed by now that we are in the same House.”

James chuckled. “I had noticed that. But I haven’t seen you around lately,” he hedged.

Lily bit her lip. “I’ve been keeping to myself. People have been on my case since the news of my date with Connor got out and I hate being gossiped about… I’m only really here now because Remus and I were writing our report about last night’s patrol,” she admitted, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Well, that explains why you’ve made yourself so scarce. Don’t worry though, I’m sure everyone’ll have something new to talk about soon enough,” James muttered. He paused, wondering if he should tell her that Watson had just asked him out. Then he shook his head. This and his upcoming date were two separate matters.

James studied her silently, before admitting: “I’ve actually been wanting to talk to you.”

“You have?” Lily asked, a quizzical frown appearing on her brow. “Well, I’m here now. What did you want to talk about?”

“About last week,” James said. He swallowed, gathering his Gryffindor nerve. “I acted like a right git and I’m sorry.”

Lily’s sharp gaze bore into him, somehow appearing both guarded and curious at the same time.

“James Potter, apologising? And the world still seems to be turning. Fancy that.”

James shrugged, a tight smile touching his lips while his stomach still felt heavy like lead. The seconds stretched as he waited, his breath lodged in his throat.

“It was hardly the first time we fought – or the first time you acted like a git, either, for that matter.” Lily’s eyes lit as she smiled. “But I accept and appreciate the apology.”

James breathed in relief, and grinned at her, feeling light and warm.

“So I’m forgiven?” he asked just to be sure.

“Yes, you are. Though I hope you won’t make a habit out of being a berk.”

“I’ll try not to.”

“Good.”

“I hope you have a good time next week with Connor Matheson,” he said – and to his surprise, found that he meant it. There was a small prick of pain in his chest, but in the end he wished the best for Lily, he wanted her to be happy.

“Thank you,” Lily replied, sounding a little taken aback, but the smile playing on her lips brightened.

 

* * *

 

 

After his talk with Lily, James felt energised, and his steps were light as he made his way up the spiral staircase into his dormitory. When he entered the dorm, only Peter looked up and greeted him; Sirius was concentrating on his Muggle Studies essay while Remus was engrossed in a book.

“You look chipper,” Peter commented as James set aside his broom and started to change into clean robes. “Did the practice go well?”

“The practice was all right,” James replied after he’d pulled his head through the neckline of his robe.

“Did something else good happen, then?”

“As a matter of fact, it did. I had a talk with Evans just now.”

Sirius snorted but didn’t make any further comment, but Remus put his book down and gave James a searching glance.

“I take it that the talk went well?” He guessed, wry amusement colouring the tone of his voice.

“It did. I finally managed to apologise for overreacting last week. All’s forgiven now.”

“That’s great!” Peter beamed.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Remus agreed.

“I even told her I wished she and Connor Matheson would have a good date.”

James felt the slight jab of pain again, but despite that still meant every word.

Remus’ eyebrows shot up and he studied him a brief moment.

He was about to say something, when another snort from Sirius’ direction broke the mood.

James crossed his arms, turning towards his best friend.

“Is there something you’d like to say, Padfoot?” he asked, fighting to keep his tone light.

“Connor Matheson,” Sirius said with a mocking sneer. “Tells you a lot about Evans, doesn’t it? Figures she’d go for the Head Boy. The sticklers for rules stick together.”

James’ eyes narrowed. Sirius had never liked Lily, and though he mostly kept his opinions to himself, he didn’t bother to hide his feelings either. James had never quite understood the hostility, as far as he knew Lily had never done anything to Sirius. For whatever reason, Sirius just seemed to have something against her.

Remus frowned, giving Sirius a disapproving look.

“By all accounts, it was Matheson who asked her out, not the other way around,” he reminded Sirius in a cool voice.

“Of course he did,” Sirius scoffed. “She just needs to bat those green eyes of hers and blokes go gaga. Case in point,” he drawled, casting a meaningful sideways look to James.

James tugged at his hair in frustration, but refused to take the bait.

“She’s nice and clever and pretty,” Peter shrugged. “Everybody likes her.”

“Except for certain Slytherins – and you,” Remus added in a low voice.

Sirius’ grey eyes grew dark as he whipped around to stare at Remus.

“What are you insinuating, exactly?” he said.

James crossed his arms, his brow furrowed. The fight was brewing, and if he stepped in now maybe it could be avoided. But James wasn’t sure if he should interfere. Sirius’ thoughtless comments had irritated him and this was one of the few subjects on which the two of them starkly disagreed. Besides, on one level he felt this went deeper, that the argument wasn’t even about Lily Evans. Remus and Sirius had been at odds ever since that stupid prank on Snape last year. Much as James didn’t want to see his friends bicker, he wondered if he should let them; maybe that way they’d acknowledge and work out some of their aggravation with one another.

“I’m not insinuating anything,” Remus said, his voice calm and eyes hard. “I’m telling it to you straight: you seem prejudiced against Lily.”

Peter paled, his eyes darting quickly between Remus and Sirius.

“Don’t you dare to compare me to those Death-Eaters-in-the-making!” Sirius hissed. “I don’t have an issue with Evans because of her blood.”

“Perhaps not, but you have an issue with her all the same,” Remus countered. “You’ve never bothered to get to know her. You called her a stickler for rules earlier – that just shows how your mind is already made up about her. You’ve decided that she is this annoying stuck up swot, and since that’s your expectation, that’s the only thing you’re able to see.”

A ringing silence filled the dormitory and Peter shifted uncomfortably.

Sirius’ lips drew back in a grimace, but though he continued to glower at Remus, his hands clenched into fists, he had no flippant comebacks to offer.

He can’t protest because Moony’s right, James thought to himself grimly as he sat down on his bed. He had been thinking along those very same lines just a moment earlier, though he hadn’t gone so far as to call Sirius prejudiced.  

“Can’t we just agree to disagree, eh, mates?” Peter squeaked with a feeble, almost pained, grin.

Despite Peter’s attempt, the mood didn’t lift as Sirius continued to glare as Remus folded his arms over his chest. But it could be worse, James reflected. They had been friends for a long time; they were close and generally got along great... but that did not mean they never fought. There had been occasions when Remus’ pale face had been blotchy from shouting, or when Sirius had stormed out of the dormitory to sulk somewhere in private, spouting swearwords as he went. The room may have been filled with tension, but at least they both seemed relatively calm given the situation and the brief exchange of heated words mere moments earlier. The argument was already over, and they all knew it. James exhaled and decided to join Peter in trying to diffuse the situation.

“Pete’s right,” he said, keeping his voice light. “You two should settle down and make up. It’ll be such a waste to spend the first Hogsmeade weekend being at each other’s throats with Wormy playing the peacemaker.”

Remus cast James a quizzical glance. “You’re talking as if you wouldn’t be joining us,” he observed.

“Why would I, when I have far better company than you lot?” James grinned.

“Like who, yourself?” Sirius sneered.

James shrugged, keeping his expression quite casual. “You think Evans is the only one who can land a date?”

“You have a date?” Peter gasped, his round face lighting up. “Way to go, Prongs!”

“And who are you going with?” Remus asked.

“Dana Watson.”

“Hah, I knew she was into you,” Sirius retorted, amusement creeping in to soften the rigid anger of his features.

And just like that the air shifted to a shade more relaxed, and the four lads, though perhaps a little cautious at first, began to chat about James’ upcoming date.

 

* * *

 

 

Monday afternoon was a gloomy affair. There was no sign of rain as of yet, but the clouds that hung heavy and grey offered no hope of blue skies. Deep in the bowels of the library, secreted away between the tall shelves and the neatly ordered leather-bound volumes, Lily was sitting with her elbows firmly planted against the old wooden surface as she frowned across the little table at Marlene.

“All right, I waited over the weekend,” she spoke levelly in a low, library-appropriate voice.

“Cheers for that,” Marlene said, flashing a smile that faltered as soon as Lily’s eyebrow rose in a sharp arch.

“I did warn you, however, that we’d have a talk, so that’s what we’re going to do.”

“Come on, Lily, you’ve already punished me and I’ve apologised. Profusely. What more do we still need to talk about?”

“How about how you were hounding me for dirty details after Connor’s birthday party a few weeks back. A bit hypocritical, don’t you think? Given how close to your chest you’ve kept your own gossip. However,” an impish smile tugged at Lily’s lips, “now’s your chance to reciprocate. So go on then. Spill.”

Marlene’s face flushed with relief and then she gave Lily a grateful grin in return.

“Oh thank Merlin,” she sighed. “While keeping a secret can be kinda exciting, I’ve been dying to tell someone about all this. Honestly, I’m not even sure where to start.”

“From the beginning,” Lily suggested. “How did you and Benjy get together?”

Marlene shook her head. “That’s still a bit of a mystery. He and Marcus had some plans but something came up and Marcus wasn’t home when Benjy came over. I ended up keeping him company and it was kinda weird at first. He’s been my brother’s best friend for years and he’s been at our house plenty of times and being in the same House I’ve seen him here at school… but despite all that, we’ve hardly ever spent time alone with just the two of us, you know?”

Lily nodded.

“Anyway, we were talking and having a good time and something just… clicked. Or shifted. Or something.”                      

“I guess that’s just how it goes sometimes,” Lily said. “I am glad, Marls, I really am. Benjy is a great guy and you seem happy. I just wish you had told me sooner.”

“You know I wanted to, but –!”

“No buts!” Lily shook her head. “Look, I understand your reasons, but I just don’t think keeping you and Benjy a secret was the right choice.”

Marlene crossed her arms and frowned.

“The thing is… I wasn’t just angry last week when I found out,” Lily continued, her voice softer and kinder. “I was a little hurt, too, because I felt like you thought you couldn’t confide in me.”

“Oh, Lily, I’m sorry!” Marlene made a face. “I really didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know,” Lily replied with a small smile. “But even so… I think you should tell Marcus. Sooner, rather than later.”

Marlene heaved a sigh. “Yeah, I guess…”

“No, you really should. I mean you’re probably right, he’ll feel weird about it at first; after all it’s his best mate and his little sister. But if you put it off, keeping it a secret, it might seem to him like you didn’t trust him, that you thought he wasn’t able to handle the news. And that could be even worse. Just imagine how he’d react if he found out about you two somehow and you would have never told him.”

Marlene bowed her head, her hair falling in a blonde curtain to hide her face. She didn’t say anything for a moment, but Lily saw the sheepish slump of her shoulders.

“You’re right,” she admitted. She met Lily’s eyes, her lips pulled into a rueful grimace. “I guess a part of me was scared how Marcus would react.”

“I think anyone would be nervous in that situation,” Lily replied.  “Maybe you could try telling him this weekend? Hogsmeade could serve as a neutral ground of sorts.”

“Mhm, maybe.” Marlene looked at Lily, her eyes sparking once again. “How about you? Looking forward to your date?”

“I think I’m more nervous than excited about it,” Lily confessed and bit her lip. “I’m still kinda in awe that Connor even asked me out in the first place. And I do like him – I just don’t know if I like him enough.”

“Well, that’s what a date’s for, isn’t it? To find out.” Marlene grinned.

“That sounds oddly supportive in light of all your earlier teasing of my dating habits,” Lily quipped.

“You know we were just taking the mickey, Lily.”

“That doesn’t mean you didn’t have a point.”

“Maybe. Anyway, I hope you’ll have a lovely time.”

“Thanks.”

Marlene smiled, but it was hesitant, the look in her eyes suddenly unsure.

Lily could almost hear the whisper of the words she was holding back, ready to come out.

“What is it?” she asked.

Marlene took a breath and spoke: “Did you hear about James?”

“His date with Dana Watson, you mean?”

“Yeah,” Marlene breathed, “that.” Her gaze was searching, as if trying to gauge her friend’s reaction.

“Well, that was a hardly a surprise, eh? Dana wasn’t exactly trying to hide her interest in him, and Potter had no reason to refuse.”

Marlene’s brows rose. “Hadn’t he?”

“No,” Lily said firmly, levelling Marlene a long look. “He hadn’t.”

“That’s a shame though. I think you’d make a cute couple.”

“Don’t let Connor or Dana hear that,” Lily replied, though a small smile touched her lips. “Unfortunately I don’t return Potter’s feelings; toerags aren’t my type. But I think I’d like to try to be friends with him.”

“Really? I wonder how that’ll go.” Marlene frowned.

“You sound very doubtful for a person who just a moment ago wished we’d be a couple.”

“Well, lovers are completely different from friends.”

“That they are. But I think he’s been changing a little for the better. You know on Friday he actually wished me a good date with Connor.”

“Potter did?” Marlene snorted. “Wow, that’s big of him. But I guess your dynamic is bound to change if both of your dates go well this weekend. Maybe becoming friends would be nice after all.”

“Ahh, I almost wish it was Saturday already so I could just get it all over and done with,” Lily sighed. “How am I going to get through all this week’s lessons and homework when I feel all jittery?”

“It’ll come, sooner than you think, probably.” Marlene picked up her bag. “I think I need to go talk to Benjy and suggest we’ll tell Marcus in Hogsmeade, like you said.”

“I think that’s a great idea. Good luck, Marlene!”

“Thanks. I’ll see you back at the dorm.”

Lily nodded and waved at Marlene as she left. Then, she squared her shoulders and picked up the translation assignment she’d got earlier in Ancient Runes.

 

* * *

 

 

Saturday dawned only half-cloudy. At some point last night, when Lily had been tossing and turning in her bed, heavy rain had drummed against the windows, but now the sun was shyly peeking out. Lily fretted over how to do her hair, hoping that by some magic she would not look as tired as she felt after her nervous, near-sleepless night – perhaps one day there would be a charm to get rid of the dark circles from under your eyes, but for now, make-up would have to do. She’d be wearing her usual school robes to Hogsmeade, but she’d pair them with the cute muffler she’d got from Gwen for her birthday. She felt even more nervous now that the day had finally arrived, her gut like a tangle of slithering snakes. Unlike her, the other Gryffindor girls were all very cheery, smiling and chatting about their plans for the day – Gwen and Mary were going to visit Honeydukes and Gladrags together and have lunch at the Three Broomsticks, while Betty would be joining her friends from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Only Marlene was quiet; she must’ve been feeling nervous, too. The girls all spent more time than usual getting ready, bickering about whose turn it was to use the bathroom mirror.

Eventually they made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. The whole school seemed aflutter with the excitement of the first Hogsmeade weekend of the term, none more than the third years who’d be visiting the village for the first time. Lily sat down on the bench next to Mary and Marlene, and wondered if she was going to be able to eat anything. Her stomach was just as restless now as it had been all morning, but knowing she had a full day ahead, Lily got a slice of toast and piled some scrambled eggs on her plate. Taking a careful sip of her morning tea, Lily glanced down the long table to where the sixth year boys were sitting. As always, they were laughing and fooling around, though Potter’s grin didn't come as quickly and easily as usual, and he didn't have much appetite either if the way he kept pushing the sausages around his plate was any indication.

Somehow that made Lily feel a little better; at least Potter was in the same boat as her. It cheered her up to know she wasn’t the only one whose upcoming date was curbing their appetite.

Squaring her shoulders, she focused on her toast and eggs, attacking the breakfast with fervour.

The nervous flutter emerged again once Lily and her friends stepped through the front doors out into the courtyard. She spotted Connor easily, and he started to walk over to her.

“Bye, Lily!” Mary and Gwen wished her, followed by stifled giggles.

“Good luck,” Marlene wished in an undertone.

Lily nodded and waved at them, and then Connor was there, standing before her, smiling down at her.

“Hi, Lily,” he greeted her.

“Hey,” she managed, flashing him a small smile.

“Shall we?”

Lily nodded and fell into step with him as they started towards the school gates.

She was tense at first, too aware of his body walking so close to hers, and the fleeting curious stares the other students cast their way.

They made their way towards Hogsmeade at an unhurried pace, just walking and talking. They started with weather, which was the safest and easiest conversation topic in the muggle and the wizarding world alike. The day was nice, they both agreed; it had been the wettest October in several years so it was great to see the elusive sun peeking out – even though it shone a tad too brightly to Lily’s liking. The subject was soon exhausted, however, so they moved on to another: school.

They talked about lessons, homework, professors, and prefect duties. Lily didn’t notice her anxiety trickling away and her tight nerves relaxing until she realised, in the middle of an avid discussion about advanced Charms theory, that she wasn’t feeling self-conscious anymore. In fact, she was having a great time: Connor was intelligent and thoughtful and it was interesting to hear his insights on different topics.

They finally came to a stop, reaching the cobbled high street of Hogsmeade. Connor turned to her, and taking in his wavy brown hair and even features, it struck Lily that he wasn’t just an engaging conversationalist – he was quite handsome as well. She bit her lip, feeling her face heat up. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice her blushing, with her cheeks already reddened by the cool October air.

“Do you have anywhere you want to go?” Connor asked.

“Nowhere in particular,” Lily replied with a small shake of her head.

“Then perhaps we could start at Scrivenshaft’s? I need more ink.”

“Sure, Scrivenshaft’s sounds good,” she agreed with a quick smile.

He returned it, his smile warm, and they went into the shop.

Inside the Scrivenshaft’s Quill shop, the air was warm and carried the dusty scent of parchment. Lily browsed the assortment of quills, but only got two rolls of parchment in the end. As nice as some of the quills had been, she didn’t really need a new one. Connor got his ink, and soon they were back out on the street. The wind bit colder now, after the visit to the warm store.

“Where next?” Connor asked her, and nodded in passing to another student who’d greeted him.

“Honeydukes?” Lily suggested. “Need to stock up the sweets stash.”

“Excellent idea,” Connor grinned. “Sweets are a necessary fuel to all those late night study sessions.”

“That they are,” Lily agreed with a quick grin of her own.

They walked up the street, continuing to talk in a similar light-hearted manner, until they reached the sweet shop.

The merry tinkle of the bell was lost in the cacophony of voices: just like Lily had expected, Honeydukes was packed with Hogwarts students, from awed and eager third years to seasoned seventh years who navigated the shop with easy efficiency. Lily spotted Marcus McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick at the back of the shop, and a group of fifth year Ravenclaw girls including Kat Whyte, queueing up to the counter.

“The poor shop assistant looks a bit harried,” Connor noted, leaning to whisper into Lily’s year.

“Well, I’m sure the sales figures will make up for the hectic day,” Lily replied. She picked a striped paper bag and inched past a group of fourth year Slytherins to get to the shelves of toffee and chocolate.

“Good choice,” Connor murmured from behind her, the smile evident in his voice. He stepped closer to study the assortment of chocolates, and when he leaned over to put some into his bag, his arm brushed against Lily’s shoulder. Realising how close he was standing, Lily again felt the blush threatening to rise to her cheeks, but instead she determinedly concentrated on the honey-coloured toffee before her, scooping some into her bag.

“What else are you planning to get?” Connor asked her as she moved on to the chocolates.

“I don’t know. Maybe something minty to counterbalance the sweetness,” Lily replied thoughtfully.

“What, no Every Flavour Beans or pepper imps so you can prove your Gryffindor courage?” he teased.

Lily’s stomach jolted. Joking around like that was a clear sign that he was becoming more familiar with her, breaking through the careful politeness he had shown towards her before. And just like that, the distancing barrier between them dropped: he wasn’t the Head Boy anymore, he was just a bloke with whom she was on a date.

Lily turned to him, her green eyes bright, her lips twisting into a playful smile.

“I don’t see any sugar quills in your sweets bag either, Mr Ravenclaw.”

Connor let out a little laugh, and the sound of it flooded Lily with warmth. There was a look in his eyes that Lily recognised, and as he leaned against the shelf of chocolates, she tilted her head and welcomed the kiss.

 

 


	11. Moving Forward

Running was a wonderful thing. Early Saturday morning, when James was making his usual jog around the Quidditch Pitch and Hogwarts’ grounds, his head was perfectly empty of any idle thoughts. He was fully focused on the moment: the brisk October air, the grass below his feet, the wind blowing across the lake, mussing his hair even more than usual. But by the time he made his way down for breakfast, that calmness had left him, and the tension settled on his shoulders. He looked at the food piled on his plate and pushed it around, managing only a few strips of bacon and a slice of toast. He felt much like he did before Quidditch matches: on edge with half-nervousness, half-anticipation.

Sirius and Peter, sitting across from him, were brimming with excitement and making a list of everything they wanted to get from Zonko’s. It was quite amazing, really, that they’d still get so worked up over going to Hogsmeade after all the private expeditions the four of them had made. But then, Hogsmeade weekends were always different. As fun as rule breaking was, it was nicer when they could officially visit the village together with most of the student population. James was still anxious; though he’d always got along well with Dana and was certain they’d have a good time today, he hadn’t been out on a date since he’d agreed to go with Irene Selwyn last February just to piss Sirius off. The memory of that day still turned his stomach, having to spend half a day with Selwyn and her elitist arse hadn’t been worth it, even though Sirius had been wroth with him for weeks.

With a sigh, James set down his fork and downed a cup of tea. He’d had as much breakfast as he could manage, so he got up and told his friends he was going back to the dormitory.

Half an hour later, he was waiting out in the courtyard, taking deep gulps of the clean Highland air. A flash of red caught his attention and he saw Lily parting from the company of her friends and walking over to Connor Matheson. The two left together, and James’ gaze followed them as they walked up the path, heading towards the school gates.

“Hi!” a cheery voice greeted right behind him.

James turned quickly and offered Dana a sheepish, lopsided grin.

“Hi,” he replied.

“All set?” she asked, beaming.

James nodded and they joined the groups of students making their way up towards the gates. Soon enough, they were already fully engaged in conversation about Quidditch.

“Which team do you support?” James asked.

“Puddlemere United. You?”

“Tutshill Tornados.”

“Tornados, really?” Dana’s lips quirked.

“What’s wrong with Tornados? Sure they haven’t won in a while, but they still hold a record for taking the Cup five times in a row.”

“That’s true – and impressive,” Dana admitted.

“Plus they’re my home team, so growing up I didn’t really have a choice,” James added.

“Well that makes sense,” Dana smiled. “I’m a bit jealous, really; it’s a shame Liverpool doesn’t have their own team.”

“At least you have Puddlemere to root for. And they have a good lineup.”

Like that, their conversation continued: they started compiling a list of the best current players in the league, then they moved to reminiscing their favourite moments from last season’s games. They were in Hogsmeade sooner than James realised, and stopped to stand on the High Street as their talk came to a halt.

He turned to Dana, offering her a crooked grin. “So what’s the plan?”

“I’m not much of a planner,” she replied with a half-shrug. “Where do you want to go?”

“Well Zonko’s and Honeydukes are the staple of every Hogsmeade visit.”

“Can’t miss those two,” Dana agreed.

“But actually,” James said slowly, “I do have one errand to run. I need to find a birthday present for Mum.”

“Maybe we could try Gladrags, then?” Dana suggested.

“Sure,” James said, though once they actually got into the shop, he felt rather out of his depth. Clothes shopping was something he usually did at Muggle shops, his mother was still the one who bought him his robes. But thankfully, he had Dana to help him choose a gift, and after a bit of pondering they left the shop with a scarf, which James was confident his mother would love.

After Gladrags they went to Zonko’s, where they met Peter and Sirius and exchanged a few quick words with them. Honeydukes was next, and after they had stocked up on sweets, James and Dana decided to go have lunch at the Three Broomsticks.

The pub was busy, as it always was during Hogsmeade weekends, but thankfully it wasn’t crowded and they found a free table easily. Once they had settled down with their Butterbeers and sandwiches, their conversation picked up again, flowing just as effortlessly as it had done while they had been walking to the village. They talked about their lessons and their aspirations and then, inevitably, the topic turned back to Quidditch.

As James listened to Dana’s story of how she had caught the Snitch in a record time in their opening match last year against Hufflepuff, James spotted a familiar figure over her shoulder.

Lily Evans stood by the counter, waiting to order, and by her side was Connor Matheson, his hand casually resting on the small of her back. James’ fingers tightened their grip of his pint glass and his stomach gave one half-hearted lurch.

“That sounds brilliant,” he told Dana, determinedly ignoring the tight feeling in his chest. “I would’ve loved to see it.”

“Well, you’ll just have to start coming to my matches,” she replied with a quick grin. “I can picture you cheering from the stands.”

“I’m not going to start cheering for the rivalling team.” James shook his head. “But I might start coming to see you play. Since they’ve gone and made me a Captain I probably should attend all the matches anyway, to know what our team’s up against.”

“You wouldn’t be cheering for the team,” Dana said, her lips quirking in a playful smirk. “You’d be cheering for _me_.”

Up at the counter, Matheson picked up his and Evans’ drinks and they turned. Evans’ gaze swept over the room – looking for an empty table, no doubt – and then her eyes met with James’.

He nodded in greeting and she gave him a little wave in return, before following Matheson to a table near the corner.

James grinned and fully focused his attention on Dana again.

“You’re still the Seeker from the rivalling team,” he pointed out.

“I am, but surely you could still cheer for me when we’re not playing against Gryffindor?”

“I suppose,” James said. “If the choice is between Ravenclaw or Slytherin, I’d certainly cheer for you.”

“I’ll hold you to that, then,” Dana said, her dimples flashing.

James chuckled and took a sip of his Butterbeer. Even though he was aware that somewhere across the pub Connor Matheson was chatting up Evans, he was having a good time. And he was definitely in good company.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Well?” Gwen’s eyebrow rose the moment Lily stepped into the sixth year girls’ dormitory. “How did it go?”

Mary looked up from her book, and even Marlene perked up. Lily made note of her glum expression; she’d have to ask Marlene later if she and Benjy had managed to talk to Marcus.

“It was nice,” Lily replied truthfully, thinking back to the engaging conversation, the kiss, his warm hand holding hers.

“Detailed, as always.” Marlene rolled her eyes.

Lily ignored her grumbling and sank gratefully onto her four-poster bed. She kicked her shoes off with a relieved sigh – her poor feet hadn’t appreciated all the walking.

Mary was watching her, a small smile playing on her lips. “Nice enough to go out with Connor again?”

Lily considered the question for a few stretching seconds, and then nodded: “Sure, if he asks me out again.”

Gwen snorted. “No need to worry about that,” she said. “He’ll definitely ask.”

Lily’s eyebrows hiked up. “And how exactly would you know that, Gwen?”

“We saw you at the Three Broomsticks,” she replied, as if that explained everything. It didn’t, so Lily levelled a good long look at her until Gwen finally shook her head and bothered to elaborate.

“I saw the way he looked at you, Lily. He fancies you.” She flashed Lily a knowing smile. “Trust me, he will want to keep seeing you.”

Lily bit her lip and flopped onto the mattress, her hair fanning on the bedspread, red against red. She looked up at the canopy and hoped her friends didn’t see the blush that had risen to her cheeks.

“I’m happy for you, Lily,” Mary said, her voice soft and warm.

“Me too. Connor’s a nice bloke,” Gwen agreed.

“Thanks,” Lily told them, her heart swelling in her chest.

“Who would’ve thought,” Marlene teased, “that Lily Evans would get herself a _boyfriend_!”

“It’s not official yet!” Lily argued, though her stomach fluttered wildly at the word ‘boyfriend’.

“It will be, soon enough,” Gwen said.

Lily didn’t see her, still busy staring at the canopy and willing away the telling blush, but she could hear the grin in her voice.

“Just wait and see.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

In Tuesday morning’s double lesson of Defence Against the Dark Arts, Lily found herself paired up with Remus when Professor Quirke told them it was time to put their knowledge to practice. She was only half-paying attention – it was difficult to commit to practising in earnest, when she had mastered a Non-Verbal Shield Charm weeks ago, as Snape had learned first-hand.

Her gaze flickered quickly towards her former friend, finding him across the classroom paired up with Adeleine Blastock. Neither of them seemed happy with the arrangement, but they seemed to have little other choice, being the only Slytherins in their year who had chosen to continue with Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Lily felt more than saw the jinx coming her way, and reflexively raised her wand, the incantation _Protego_ flashing in her mind as her attention snapped back to Remus.

Her shield shimmered as Remus’ spell bounded off it.

“Now that’s just not fair,” Remus complained, frowning at her. “You were distracted and still managed to conjure a shield on time.”

“Yes,” a voice near them agreed, making Remus and Lily jump in surprise. They both turned to stare at Professor Quirke. They’d seen her start to circulate among students but how long had she been there, standing right beside them?

“Miss Evans showed commendable reflexes, but a shield created in haste may not hold in a proper battle,” Professor Quirke continued, looking at Lily. “Your shield just now would’ve been too brittle to withstand against a dark curse, Miss Evans. You need more practise.”

“Yes, professor,” Lily murmured, bowing her head to hide her flush of embarrassment.

“Even a brittle shield is better than none,” Remus grumbled under his breath.

Lily shot him a quick, empathetic look; he had yet to manage the Shield Charm on time to stop her hexes, though last time he’d been really close.

“That’s true,” Professor Quirke acknowledged with a nod. “To maintain a proper shield, however, one needs both focus and strength of will. I believe your problems, Mr Lupin, lie in the former department.”

“I’m trying to focus, professor, I just have trouble with Non-Verbal spells.”

“There is no shame in that. Many adult witches and wizards have never fully mastered Non-Verbal spells. But you, Mr Lupin…” Professor Quirke looked at him, “You’re a bright lad. You’ll get the hang of it. After all, that _is_ why you are here, the both of you: to learn.”

Professor Quirke smiled at them, a kind smile that made her look younger – almost as young as they were.

“I suggest you focus on _doing_ , Mr Lupin, not trying. And keep your shoulders relaxed, even when you’re feeling frustrated.”

With a final nod, the professor moved to observe next pair.

“She’d better not leave after this year like all the other Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers,” Remus said, watching her go.

“Yeah,” Lily agreed, feeling all new respect towards Professor Quirke. “I think she’s the best one we’ve had in six years.”

“Well, I guess we should get back to learning,” Remus said wryly.

“All right,” Lily raised her wand, deciding on a tickling hex. “Ready?”

Remus nodded, and Lily sent the hex his way with a wordless flick of her wand. She saw Remus grit his teeth but this time his lips were no longer moving to sound out the spell on his mind. At first it seemed he would be late this time, too; but at the last second his shield flared and blocked Lily’s hex.

“Well done!” She grinned at him, genuinely happy that he had succeeded at last.

“Cutting a bit close,” Remus commented, though he was grinning even wider than her. “I still need to practise.”

“Me too,” Lily said. She wouldn’t want her shield to be brittle when facing an actual opponent wanting her dead.

Still, despite her renewed resolution, it was hard to pay attention – Lily’s gaze kept wandering to a laughing pair of students, practising a few groups to their left.

“Guess I won’t have to ask how _their_ date went,” she muttered, her eyebrows raised.

Remus followed her gaze with wry amusement.

“She’s very forward, isn’t she.”

“No kidding,” Lily smirked.

“I heard they talked mostly about Quidditch,” Remus said.

“Figures,” Lily hummed. “They do look good together, though.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty like-minded so I think they’ll do well.”

“You know,” Lily said slowly, her green eyes pondering as they studied James Potter, his wand at the ready as he grinned at Dana Watson, “last week he apologised for being a berk _and_ wished me a good date with Connor. I think he might actually be growing up a little.”

“He has his moments, every now and then,” Remus agreed with a half-smile. Then, he gave Lily a sly look. “Since you brought it up I guess I’m obligated to ask – was your date with Connor a good one?”

Lily’s eyes brightened. “It was,” she replied, a smile playing on her lips. “It may even have been the best one yet.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

None of the sixth year Gryffindor boys had lessons after lunch on Wednesdays, so three of them went straight back to their dormitory after they had eaten their bellies full.

Remus had hoped to read through his notes before their Transfiguration lesson later that afternoon, but James had other ideas. The moment the dormitory door closed behind them, he rounded on his two mates, his hazel eyes unusually solemn.

“All right, gentlemen,” James declared, looking from Peter to Remus. “We only have a week left so it’s time to decide how we’re going to celebrate Padfoot’s birthday.”

“Ohh, I had almost forgotten!” Peter squeaked, bouncing on the edge of his bed.

Remus frowned and stared thoughtfully out of the rain splattered window.

“Should we just sneak into Hogsmeade and have a boys’ night out?” he suggested.

“Didn’t we do that last year?” Peter asked, scratching his nose.

“We did,” James said with a dismissive wave of his hand. He crossed the room and sat down next to Peter. “Besides, we need to think _big_.”

“I suppose,” Peter said slowly, his wide brow creased in thought. “After all, he is turning seventeen.”

“Precisely!” James patted Peter on the shoulder, earning a grin from him.

Remus looked at the two of them and fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“So a party, then,” he concluded.

“The party of the year! And it will be a surprise.”

“Really? A surprise party in only one week?” Remus asked skeptically.

“We can do it,” Peter insisted. “We’ve pulled big pranks on much shorter notice before.”

“Yeah,” James agreed. “We just need to have a solid plan and the rest will follow.”

“All right,” Remus nodded at James, though his voice still carried a smidge of doubt. “What did you have in mind, Prongs?”

“Wormy will have Serious Distraction Duty; we’ll leave it to him to keep Padfoot busy so he shall remain blissfully unaware of the party.”

“Sirius Distraction Duty, got it,” Peter repeated.

“We should also make sure that Sirius won’t have the map while we’re setting everything up.”

“An excellent point, Moony,” James said, flashing him a cheerful grin. “And Wormy, could you also take care of the music? Remember to get Sirius’ favourites.”

“Sure, you can count on me!”

“I know I can, Pete,” James said, and gave him another pat on the shoulder. “Next, there’s the decorations and the food and drink. Which one do you want to handle, Moony?”

“I’ll take the decorations, thanks. You’re better at supply runs, anyway.”

“All right. Any opinion on the drinks?”

Peter shook his head.

Remus pursed his lips. “This will be a big party, yeah? Open for everyone?”

James nodded. “Gryffindors only, since we’ll have it in the Common Room, but yeah.”

“Better stick to Butterbeer, then,” Remus decided, a bit regretfully, “since most people there will be underage.”

“Will do. Though I’m getting Sirius a bottle of Firewhisky.”

“Go ahead,” he shrugged, “it’s his birthday.”

“And he won’t be underage,” Peter added.

James shook his head.

“They grow up so fast!” he lamented with a fake sniff, earning a guffaw from Peter.

“Where is Sirius, anyway?” Remus asked, frowning.

“I don’t know,” James said with an unconcerned shrug. “I asked Wormy to get rid of him.”

“I told Sherry Spriggs that Sirius was into her and waiting for her to make a move,” Peter reported. “By now they’re probably in the Astronomy tower.”

“Nice job, Wormy,” James grinned, earning a smile from Peter in turn.

Remus’ lips twitched.

“So now that the drinks have been decided, what did you plan for food?” he asked James.

“I need to go raid Honeydukes and get some sweets and chocolate. Then of course we need a cake.”

“Where are you going to get a cake?” Peter blinked.

“From the kitchens,” James replied. “Where else? Did you think I’d bake one myself?”

Remus snorted. “Now there’s something I’d like to see.”

“I’m sure I’d look fetching in an apron, but I think I’ll pass,” James retorted, his hazel eyes laughing.

“Mhm, probably for the best to leave the baking to the house elves,” Remus agreed. “At least then we know the cake will be edible.”

“Oi!”

“I’d side with you, Prongs, but I still have nightmares about that time you decided to make an omelette.”

“You too, Peter? And I’ll have you know that making an omelette is much harder than it looks! Besides, there weren’t _that_ many pieces of eggshells in it,” James added defensively.

“The eggshells were the least of my worries,” Remus retorted. “Just hone your Quidditch skills, Prongs, because you’ll never be a chef.”

“Bah, you two wouldn’t recognise gourmet food if it smacked you in the face,” James pouted.

“Moving on,” Remus said briskly, “what about the guest list?”

“All Gryffindors welcome?” Peter shrugged.

“That’s what I was thinking, yeah,” James said, folding his arms across his chest. He glared at Remus, annoyed that he had so blatantly ignored his brilliant comeback.

“They’ll need to be invited and let in on the secret,” Remus reminded them.

“I know. I’ll take care of that,” James promised.

“I guess I’ll inform the other prefects,” Remus said. “If there’s going to be a big party in the middle of the week they’d appreciate advance notice.”

“All right.”

“See?” Peter grinned, his gaze flicking between his two friends. “I told you we can do this.”

“Well, we have a plan now,” Remus said, nodding at Peter. “All that’s left to do is the actual preparation, though that’s plenty of work in itself.”

James jumped off from Peter’s bed and turned to look at Peter and Remus. His eyes were alight with excitement, his lips drawn in a smirk. “Don’t worry, lads,” he told them, his easy confidence already winning them over. “We have a whole week. Now let’s get to work!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Lily sat between Mary and Marlene at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, trying to decide if she had enough room left for a slice of treacle tart.

“I’m full,” Marlene declared, leaning back in her seat.

“A rookie mistake,” Gwen grinned at her from across the table. “You need to leave room for the feast in the evening.”

“The feast is hours away,” Marlene said, slanting a quick glare at Gwen.

“That’s true,” Lily said, cutting right through the potential argument brewing between the two. “By dinnertime, she’ll be ready to eat her fill again.”

Marlene had been in a bad mood since last weekend and had been picking fights throughout the week. Lily wanted to sit her down for a talk, but given her state of mind, it was better to wait for Marlene to come to her.

“Do you know if Dana Watson and James Potter are seeing each other now?” Betty asked, peering over toward the Ravenclaw table.

“I haven’t heard anything,” Lily said, reaching for the treacle tart.

“I don’t know for sure either, but it seems like they are,” Mary said. “They’ve been together a lot, lately.”

“Yeah, yesterday when we were getting back from Quidditch practise, she was waiting for James in the Entrance Hall,” Gwen said, and took a sip of her tea.

“Black must be feeling lonely,” Lily quipped.

“Not _that_ lonely,” Betty said, leaning forward in her seat. “Sherry Spriggs was bragging about hooking up with him.”

“Who’s Sherry Spriggs?” Marlene asked.

“Seventh year Hufflepuff,” Gwen replied. “The leggy blonde.”

“Sounds like Black’s type all right,” Marlene snorted.

Gwen drank the rest of her tea and set the cup down. “I need to get going,” she said, as she gathered her things, “I still need to go over that essay for McGonagall.”

“I’ll come with you,” Mary said, getting up. “I haven’t finished mine yet, either.”

“See you later,” Lily told them.

“Only McGonagall would make us write an essay over the Hallowe’en weekend,” Marlene grumbled. “I feel like I’m in over my head.”

“You should ask Remus or Potter to help you,” Lily suggested.

“Can’t you help?”

“I’m sorry, but I really can’t. I need to stay here once lunch is over and help decorate the Great Hall for the feast tonight.”

“Oh, right. _Prefect stuff_.” Marlene rolled her eyes. “Well, I’ll go and see if I can pry James from Watson’s clutches.”

Marlene got up and headed over to the end of the table, where James sat with his friends.

Betty, too, slid off the bench.

“I’m going too, I promised to help Vickie with her Astronomy assignment.”

“All right,” Lily said, “have fun!”

Left alone, Lily took her time eating her treacle tart, and watched as students slowly trickled out of the Hall, leaving the long tables empty save for the few scattered prefects who, like her, had promised to give a hand with the decorations.

She had only two bits of the tart left, when Benjy Fenwick slid down to sit next to her.

“Hullo, Lily.”

“Hi, Benjy. I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“You doubt my generosity?”

“No, I figured you seventh years would be too busy to lend a hand,” Lily replied.

“Some of them are, I’m sure. But I finished all my schoolwork yesterday, so that I could kick back and enjoy Hallowe’en.”

Lily smiled. “Sounds like a good strategy.”

“Remus didn’t stay to help?” Benjy asked.

“We had a ferocious match of rock-paper-scissors,” Lily shrugged. “I lost.”

Benjy laughed.

Lily hesitated for a brief moment. She didn’t want to pry into personal matters, but after struggling with her curiosity for a whole week, felt compelled to ask: “How’s Marcus?”

“I’m not sure,” Benjy sighed. “He hasn’t talked to me much since he heard.”

“Marlene’s been glum all week so I figured he didn’t take the news too well.”

“Yeah… I’m glad we told him, though, it was getting so tiring to keep it under wraps.”

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Lily told him. “I’m sure Marcus will come around.”

Benjy nodded. “Thanks, Lily.”

She offered him a small smile and finished her dessert. Movement out of the corner of her eye drew Lily’s attention and she turned to see Connor Matheson getting up at the next table over.

“All right, people,” he announced in a carrying voice as he scanned the hall, a small business-like smile on his lips, “let’s get started, shall we?”

Lily looked aside, fighting a blush as she suddenly remembered how his lips had felt against hers. She hastily stood and busied herself by rolling up her sleeves of her robes. The next time she risked a glance to Connor’s direction, she met his eyes and he winked at her.

Then, Connor fell back to his role as the Head Boy and began to assign duties to the remaining prefects. A few minutes later, Lily stood at the end of the Gryffindor table, levitating bright orange streamers towards the ceiling. She waved in passing to Hagrid, the groundskeeper, as he walked past her carrying another pumpkin to the Ravenclaw table where Connor and Benjy were carving them. A pair of fifth year Hufflepuff prefects were diligently placing candles into the carved pumpkins and so the pile of jack-o-lanterns steadily grew bigger and bigger. Lily craned her neck and waved her wand, arranging the streamers now hanging up in the air. Around fifteen bright orange streamers later she started to roll her shoulders absently, trying to ease the tension building in her poor neck. Staring up at the ceiling wasn’t a comfortable position to hold for an extended period of time, and Lily was sure she’d have a sore neck later. Such was the price of helping teachers, she thought wryly to herself.

A warm hand settled on her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze, startling Lily out of her musings.

“Sorry,” Connor said, “I didn’t mean to spook you.”

“It’s fine,” Lily said, feeling a little breathless. “I didn’t notice you.”

“Why don’t you switch out with me for a bit?” Connor suggested. “You look like your neck could use a break.”

“It could,” she admitted, glancing at him. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” Connor smiled. “I like looking after you, Lily.”

Lily bit her lip as something warm fluttered in her chest. She tucked her wand behind her ear and looked up at Connor.

“I think I like that too,” she said softly. Then she hurried over to Benjy and the pile of pumpkins, before Connor could see the blush blooming on her cheeks.

                                            

 


	12. Quidditch Season

James rubbed his eyes and frowned at what remained of the sausages and scrambled eggs on his plate. It was only Monday morning, yet just thinking about the week that lay ahead made him feel weary to the bone. Between lessons and Quidditch practice, Sirius’ surprise birthday party and Remus’ fast approaching time of the month, he had his work cut out for him.

Beside him, Remus was yawning, while on his other side Sirius whined about the unfairness of the world. James listened with half an ear and poured himself another cup of coffee. He had the feeling he’d need lots of it to get through this week.

“I think next week, I’ll just kick his lazy arse out of bed,” Sirius decided.

“No you won’t,” Remus said firmly, the glare he sent Sirius’ way slightly ruined by the bleariness of his eyes.

“Let Pete sleep in, mate,” James said, cutting into the argument before it had a chance to turn serious. “If you didn’t have the morning lesson, you wouldn’t have got up either.”

“Stupid Herbology,” Sirius grumbled, savagely stabbing a sausage with his fork.

Remus hummed in agreement while James drank his coffee in neutral silence. Unlike his friends, he had never had any trouble getting out of bed early. Quite often, they told him he was mad for going out for a jog every morning and enjoying it, but James paid them no heed. There were worse things to be called, and it was all in good humour anyway.

“Morning, James!”

James looked up from his coffee and saw Dana had stopped at the end of the table. She smiled at him, her fingers toying with the shoulder strap of her school bag.

“Morning,” he replied, his lips twitching. He’d noticed it before, too, but Dana’s dimpled smiles were oddly contagious.

“Have you finished eating?”

“Yeah, just about.”

“Wanna walk to the greenhouses together?”

“Sure,” James agreed readily. “I’ll see you guys later, yeah?” he told Sirius and Remus as he was getting up from his seat.

“Yeah, see you,” Remus said, stifling another yawn.

“Have a nice walk!” Sirius smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

James shook his head and picked up his school bag. “Let’s go,” he said, and Dana fell into step with him and the two of them left the Great Hall together.

“Enjoyed breakfast?” she asked as they crossed the Entrance Hall.

“I always enjoy breakfast,” James replied.

“Same. I didn’t manage to eat much today, though, I’m still so stuffed from the feast last night. Hallowe’en is my favourite holiday.”

“The feast was amazing,” James agreed. “We all ate so much I wasn’t sure how we’d get Peter back up to the dorms, with all those stairs.”

Dana laughed, and James stepped forward so he could open the heavy oak door for Dana.

“How chivalrous,” she murmured, brushing past him, her eyes dancing with mirth. “Guess dating a Gryffindor has its perks.”

At the word dating James’ stomach gave a little jolt, and his hand jumped to muss his hair as he followed Dana out of the front door. “Oh no,” he said, trying to match Dana’s teasing tone, “any occasional bout of chivalry you’ll see from me will be the result of my mum’s persistent attempts to drill some manners into me.”

Dana’s dimples bloomed again, the smile on her lips light and teasing. “Perhaps I should send your mum a thank you note.”

“Maybe she should be sending you one, since you helped me pick her birthday present.”

“Oh, I was going to ask – did she like it?”

James shrugged. “Her birthday’s not for another few weeks. I haven’t sent it to her yet. I just wanted to start looking for something early.”

“So you wouldn’t be pressed for time if you didn’t find a good enough present right away?” Dana guessed and James nodded. “That’s sound logic, I should take a leaf out of your book. Somehow I’m always in a panic, scrambling for something at the last possible minute.”

“Ah, I call that the ‘Sirius school of thought’,” James grinned, earning a warm giggle from Dana.    

“Anyway, I hope your mum will like the scarf.”

“I’m sure she will,” James reassured her.

Dana smiled at him, and then, her warm hand wrapped around his. James hoped his surprise didn’t show on his face and, after a while of getting used to it, decided it felt rather nice.

“I probably won’t be able to spend much time with you this week,” he blurted as they passed the first of the greenhouses.

“It’s fine,” Dana said. “You go and get your practice so you can flatten the Slytherins on Saturday. Though you’re not making it easy for us, either.”

“Huh?”

“Fiona’s not very happy with you – or the Slytherins – for hogging the Pitch this week. She’s putting full blame for getting shite practice time slots on you.”

“We have a match coming up, we need to practise more than you do,” James pointed out, a slight frown creasing his forehead.

“I know,” Dana said, her shoulder bumping against his bicep. “Don’t worry about it, Fiona has a bit of an unhealthy obsession about you anyway.”

James’ eyebrows rose and he turned to Dana as they came to a stop before greenhouse number six.

“Is that in a good way or a bad way?”

“In the crush-Gryffindor-and-beat-Potter-bloody kind of a way,” she replied.

“Why?” he asked, honestly puzzled. “What have I ever done to Sempers?”

“You mean other than completely creaming us in our first game last year and then scoring three successive goals in the final so you won the Quidditch Cup right from under our noses even though I was the one who caught the Snitch?” Dana didn’t sound too angry, though – and she was still holding his hand.

“Well,” James stammered, his free hand jumping to his hair. “I guess…”

“Don’t worry,” Dana repeated. “I think it’s mostly because it’s her last year, you know? Her last chance to win the cup as the team captain.”

“That I can understand,” James said. He grinned at Dana and squeezed her hand. “You can tell Sempers to bring it on when we have our match.”

“Oh, I don’t need to tell Fiona that, we’ll be ready and waiting to destroy you.” Dana smirked.

James could hear the voices of approaching students but paid them no heed. One moment, he was admiring Dana’s dimples, the next she had risen to her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his in a soft and determined kiss.

 

* * *

 

 

On Wednesday evening, the Gryffindor Common Room was packed with a loud and cheerful crowd, but though Sirius Black’s birthday party was in full swing, Lily and her friends had managed to commandeer a sofa by the fireplace. She was perched on one armrest, her feet tucked in the corner as she chatted with Mary. Marlene was doubled over with laughter and Gwen rested her head in her lap, draped across the sofa and the other armrest, waving her feet in the air to the rhythm of the music.

“Oh, I love this song,” Mary sighed.

“Me too!” Lily said, her fingers drumming the beat against her thigh.

“We should get up and go dancing,” Marlene said, her head bopping with the music.

“But we just sat down!” Gwen snorted a laugh.

“I’m not sure I can dance any more, I already feel like someone cast jellylegs on me,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“Bah, you’re all boring,” Marlene grumbled, and prodded Gwen’s temple. “Move over, you.”

Gwen sat up with a groan and then turned to watch as Marlene got up and strode towards a group of seventh years talking by the window.

“Oi, Benjy, aren’t you going to ask me to dance?”

“Oi, Benjy, she says,” Gwen cackled.

Mary squealed. “It’s working! Look!”

Benjy grinned and nodded at his friends before walking over to Marlene and wrapping his arm around her to steer her towards the middle of the room where a bunch of students were dancing.

The girls looked at each other, and promptly dissolved into giggles.

“Ladies,” a cheerful and familiar voice called from behind them, interrupting their bout of laughter. “I come bearing drinks.”

James Potter vaulted himself over the backrest of the sofa and slumped to the spot Marlene had vacated.

“Very nice, Captain!” Gwen grinned at him, and grabbed one of the Butterbeers he was holding.

“You looked thirsty.” James shrugged.

“Thanks,” Mary chirped, taking another one of the bottles.

James offered the last one to Lily with a florid half-bow and Lily accepted it.

“I like the music,” she told him, opening her Butterbeer.

“Yeah, there’s been quite a few Muggle songs hasn’t there?” Mary agreed.

“Sirius’ taste,” James explained. “Took a little charm work to get the radio to play what we wanted though.”

“So where’s your girlfriend, Cap? Didn’t she get an invite?” Gwen asked.

Lily took a swig of Butterbeer and cast a curious side-glance at James to see how he’d react to the word girlfriend. But he just smiled at Gwen, and Lily wasn’t sure whether to feel disappointed or not.

“Nah, we decided to keep it Gryffindor only – besides tonight’s for Sirius. She did sign the birthday book though.”

“The birthday book?” Lily raised her eyebrow.

“Didn’t you see it? It’s over there, I signed it,” Gwen said, waving roughly at the direction of the portrait hole.

“It was Peter’s idea, you know,” James said, tugging at his hair. “He said instead of a card we should get a whole book.”

“It’s like a guest book, but for everyone, not just guests,” Mary clarified.

“Oh. That sounds nice,” Lily replied.

“Come on,” James said, lurching to his feet and grabbing Lily’s wrist.

“Come where?” she asked, confused, as she allowed James to pull her up from the armrest.

“To sign the birthday book!”

And then he was dragging her across the Common Room. Lily shook her head and then linked her arm through his so they could walk side by side. Much better.

“We circulated the book around all the other Houses, you know,” James continued, his free hand mussing up his hair. “Well, except for Slytherin. Though…”

James glanced at her.

“Though what?”

“They had heard of the birthday book, too. Pete was coming from the kitchens –“

“Wait, you know where the kitchens are?”

“Evans,” James snorted, “we know where everything is.”

Lily rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, a Slytherin approached him, saying he wanted to sign the book, too.”

“Really? Who?”

James glanced at her again, before replying in a hushed tone Lily had to strain to hear over the music. “Regulus.”

“Wow. That’s – wow.” Lily said dumbly. She wasn’t quite sure what to think of that, honestly.

“Yeah, took us by a surprise. But hopefully Sirius will appreciate it when he has the chance to read through them all... Here we are!”

They came to a stop before the small desk by the portrait hole. On it was a leather-bound journal full of well wishes, and next to it, a frumpy quill and a bottle of ink.

“Now, Evans,” James said, casually leaning against the desk as Lily picked up the quill, “I know you and Sirius aren’t best mates, but try to be nice.”

“I’m always nice,” Lily retorted, shooting him a quick glare.

“Sure you are,” he said, his hazel eyes laughing.

Lily took the high road and stuck her tongue out at him, before bending over the journal to scrawl her birthday wish to Sirius.

“There,” she said. “All done.”

“Cheers,” James replied, clinking his bottle of Butterbeer against hers. “Now let’s go party!”

Lily shook her head, but smiled as she followed him back into the crowd.

 

* * *

 

 

The school week was nearing its end, so the homework was piling up. All the Gryffindor girls had the hour before lunch free on Thursday, so they had decided to use the time to try to catch up with their schoolwork. Mary and Betty had gone to the library, but Lily, Marlene and Gwen had preferred to stay in the Common Room, where they had settled on one of the couches. November had brought a definite chill in the air,  which had driven them to bask by the fireplace. Marlene was reading through the Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook, while Gwen and Lily were working on the Ancient Runes translations Professor Babbling had assigned them just that morning.

“How do you think Sirius is doing this morning?” Marlene asked, closing her textbook and stuffing it into her bag.

“Well, he was in Herbology earlier,” Lily murmured, leafing through a dictionary.

“He seemed tired, though. He got grabbed twice by the Venomous Tentacula.”

“Well it was a good party and it went on pretty late,” Gwen shrugged. “I was half-asleep through most of our Runes lesson.”

“I noticed,” Lily quipped, flashing her friend a small smile before going back to her translation.

“Is Mary coming back here or are we meeting at the Great Hall for lunch?” Marlene asked, slumping on the couch.

“I think we’re meeting down at the Hall,” Lily said, frowning at her runes. “We have Potions after lunch.”

“Eww. Have fun with ol’ Sluggy,” Marlene rolled her eyes.

“I always have fun with Sluggy,” Lily replied.

“You’re weird.”

“Marlene, would you shut your mouth for just five minutes? Trying to concentrate here,” Gwen snapped.

Marlene made a face and a rather rude gesture, but stayed quiet. Silence settled over the three girls, disturbed only by the crackling flames, crinkling parchment and scratching quills – and then Marlene’s stomach grumbled audibly.

Gwen snorted and Lily put aside her translation.

“Point taken,” she said, her green eyes laughing, “let’s go get lunch, girls.”

Gwen and Marlene took their bags up to their dorm room while Lily packed her things; the two of them had more free time after lunch since they didn’t take Advanced Potions like Lily and Mary.

The girls filed out through the portrait hole, and started to make their way down to the Great Hall.

They were on the fifth floor, heading towards the moving staircase, when they found trouble.

Three Slytherins, who had been leaning against the stone walls, stood and moved to block the corridor.

Lily’s gaze jumped from Curtis Greengrass, tall but lithe, to Leon Sedgewick and Sebastian Parkinson who were flanking him, both big and burly.

For a moment she thought they were out to get her, teach a lesson to the filthy Mudblood – but then she realised two things simultaneously: that all three guys were on the Slytherin Quidditch team, and that each of them was staring at Gwen.

“Ah,” Marlene spoke into the tense silence, “the Quidditch season wouldn’t be Quidditch season without some good old intimidation tactics, eh?”

“At least this lot is picking on someone their own size,” Gwen said, her hand on her side, ready to pull out her wand.

“I don’t know about that,” Marlene snorted, sizing up Sedgewick and Parkinson.

“Kimberly Wu and Holly Willoughby said they had had a run in with Mortimer yesterday,” Lily said quietly. “Professor Quirke interrupted them before anything happened, but still…”

“Sending a seventh year after two fourth years? Real brave of you guys,” Gwen said, condescension plain in her voice.

Marlene sneered. “You guys hear the one about a Chaser and two Beaters walking into the pub –”

The three Slytherins moved as one, pulling out their wands and pointing them at the girls who responded in kind. Although no spell had actually been fired yet, Lily reacted out of sheer reflex and conjured a pre-emptive shield to cover both her and her friends.

“I suppose I should be flattered that there’s three of you after me,” Gwen said conversationally, her wand trained at Curtis Greengrass.

“Well, to be honest we were hoping Potter would be with you,” he replied, his gaze briefly flickering towards Lily, “but this works, too.”

“I would think long and hard before firing a hex at us if I were you,” Lily said, trying to appear calm. She was starting to sweat; it took a lot of effort and concentration to keep the shield charm in place. Usually they were a spur of a moment thing, not a spell to be held up for minutes on end.

“You scared, Mudblood?” Sebastian Parkinson sneered.

“No, Parkinson,” Lily replied, flashing him a tight smile. “I’m a prefect. And I bet Lucinda Talkalot wouldn’t be too happy if half her team had to miss out on any last minute Quidditch practices because they’d all been given detention.”

“Nice!” Marlene chuckled.

Leon Sedgewick shot her a dark glare, while Curtis Greengrass frowned.

“Go on then,” Gwen said, grinning as she gestured at the Slytherins with her wand. “I want to see Lucinda’s face when she hears the news of your detentions.”

Curtis was already lowering his wand, but the others weren’t deterred.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Leon Sedgewick spat, stepping towards Lily.

“Try me,” she deadpanned, her green eyes flashing.

“The game’s the day after tomorrow,” Marlene reminded them.

“Yeah,” Gwen said. “Now’s not a good time to get in trouble.”

Sebastian Parkinson glowered at them but pocketed his wand.

“These are dangerous times, Evans,” Parkinson said, turning to glare at Lily. “It’s not smart to make yourself a target.”

“Is that a threat?” Marlene hissed.

“Just telling the truth,” Leon Sedgewick cut in with a cruel smile.

“I’m a Mudblood, remember,” Lily told them, her wand still steady and aimed at the Slytherins. “I’m already a target.”

“Let’s go,” Curtis said.

The girls slowly lowered their wands as they watched the three Slytherins walk away.

“Well that was fun,” Marlene huffed.

Lily finally let the shield drop with a trembling sigh.

“You ok, Lily? You look a bit shaky.”

“I’m all right, Gwen. I’ve just never held a shield charm for that long.”

“You had a shield up the whole time?” Marlene asked, incredulous.

“It was a knee-jerk reaction when they pulled their wands on us,” Lily shrugged. “And once it was up I didn’t want to lower it until the situation was over. Just in case.”

“Quick thinking from you all around, then. I’m impressed.”

“Thanks, Gwen.”

“We could’ve taken them, though,” Marlene insisted.

“Probably, yeah,” Gwen agreed. “But like I said, it’s not a good time to get in trouble.”

Lily nodded. “If a professor had walked by, like when Mortimer was after Holly and Kimberly…”

“It could be us in detention, too,” Marlene grimaced as she finally caught on. “Yeah, I don’t think James would’ve liked you missing out on practice either.”

“All the captains have that in common, I bet,” Gwen said wryly. “Now come on, girls. Let’s go get some lunch.”

“Yes please,” Marlene grinned, as they started down the corridor.

  

* * *

 

 

Gwen came up to the sixth year girls’ dormitory on Friday evening, carrying her broomstick on her shoulder.

“How was practice?” Marlene asked, looking up from her magazine.

“It was all right. We mostly went over our strategy and had a last minute drill on different manoeuvres. James didn’t want to tire us out the night before the big match.”

“Clever,” Lily said, snuggling her cat Augustus in her lap as she sat cross-legged on her four-poster bed.

“Oh right,” Gwen said, turning to her. “Lily, your boyfriend was waiting for you out in the corridor.”

“Crap! It’s that late already?” Lily jumped up, ignoring Augustus’ disgruntled meow. “I need to get going.”

“Enjoy your little date,” Marlene called after her, snickering.

Lily straightened her robes and ran her hand through her hair as she hurried down the spiral staircase, hoping there weren’t too many cat hairs on her clothes. Coming to the Common Room, she almost ran right into Potter. He dropped his broom so he could reach out to steady her as she stumbled.

“All right there, Evans?” he asked, somehow managing to sound both amused and concerned.

“Fine,” she replied, stepping around him, “running late.”

Lily rushed to the portrait hole and stepped out, followed by Potter’s laughter.

Connor waited for her out in the corridor near the staircase leading down to the sixth floor.

“Hey, Lily,” he greeted her with a smile.

“Hi. Sorry, I lost the track of time.”

“It’s fine, it’s still early. Shall we?”

Lily nodded, and the two of them started down the stairs.

“Thanks again for this, it was so nice of you to volunteer to take Remus’ shift,” she said.

“Rest will do him good, I think. He looked so pale. But it’s that time of the year, I think half our House has gone to see Madam Pomfrey by now.”

“Yeah, Mary had to get a pepper-up potion a few weeks back, too.”

“Of course, I did also have ulterior motives when I offered to cover for Remus tonight,” Connor admitted.

The corners of Lily’s lips twitched. “I suspected as much.”

“I thought it would be a good opportunity to get to know you a bit better.”

“I agree,” Lily said, wiping her palms on her robes. She hadn’t really had the chance to be alone with Connor since their first date at Hogsmeade, and even back then the village had been filled with other students. Now it was just the two of them, walking along an empty sixth floor corridor. No wonder that nervousness pinched at the pit of her stomach. Still, it would be nice to just talk. She wanted to get to know Connor, too.

“Looking forward to the game tomorrow?” he asked.

“I am, yeah. It’s a nice change of pace and I’m kinda curious how Potter will do as a captain.”

“Are you a big Quidditch fan?”

“I wouldn’t say so. It’s exciting to see the matches but I don’t follow much of it outside the games here at Hogwarts.”

Going down to the fifth floor, they passed two fifth year Gryffindors who were running up the stairs. “Curfew in twelve minutes, better hurry up!” Lily called after them.

“Why don’t you follow the games, then?” Connor asked, continuing on the subject of Quidditch.

“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up with it like so many of you?”

“Do you follow muggle sports?”

Lily considered the question for a moment. “Sometimes I watch football with dad, but it’s mostly just for company. I like to spend whatever time I can with them, since I’m not home a lot.”

“My parents took me to a football game once,” Connor told her.

“Really?” Lily glanced at him, surprised.

“I’m a half-blood,” Connor explained with a small shrug. “My mum’s a Muggle, my dad’s Muggleborn.”

“Well that’s good to know,” Lily said, flashing him a small smile. “Maybe we have hope, after all.”

“Oh, I’d say we have plenty of hope,” Connor replied, his hand brushing against hers in passing.

Lily looked down at the stone floor of the corridor, willing herself not to blush. She hadn’t been this bad with any other boy before, that she would blush from something so small as a fleeting touch. It was both a little scary and exciting.

“So…” she said a bit too quickly, scrambling to change the subject to something more neutral, “what are you plans for after Hogwarts?”

“I’d like to work for the Ministry,” Connor replied. “Maybe for the Accidental Magic Reversal or the Muggle Liaison office.”

Lily’s smile faltered, and she hesitated for a moment. “Did you hear about that witch from the Muggle Liaison office?”

“You mean the missing one? Yeah, I read about it in the Prophet.”

“Doesn’t that frighten you at all? I mean it isn’t just an isolated case, either. There was the Unspeakable who was discovered to be under the Imperius curse last week…”

Connor stopped walking and was silent for a moment, before he replied. “It is worrying, that such things are happening. And I understand that there is some risk. But I’m not sure anyone’s really safe these days, are they?”

He looked solemn when Lily met his eyes. She remembered how just yesterday, the three Slytherins who had come to intimidate Gwen had wasted no time turning on her instead. Parkinson calling her a Mudblood hadn’t bothered her nearly as much as the look in his eyes when he had pointed his wand at her.

“No,” she sighed, suddenly wanting to hug herself. “I guess they aren’t.”

Connor took her hand, and Lily’s fingers pressed against his warm skin, seeking the comfort he wordlessly offered.

“What about you then?” he asked as they resumed walking along the fourth floor corridor. “What do you want to do after you finish next year?”

“I’ve always been interested in healing,” Lily replied.

Connor raised his eyebrows. “Impressive. With your grades, you certainly have a good chance of becoming a healer.”

“Thanks.”

“Just telling how it is,” Connor said warmly.

Lily squeezed his hand. She was already feeling much better. They patrolled the empty halls and corridors of the quiet castle, talking about everything and nothing; learning new things about each other, big and small. Finally, they bid good night on the fifth floor staircase, and though Lily was sure that her friends up in the Gryffindor dormitory would impatiently demand details the moment she walked in, she’d keep the small and sweet parting kiss all to herself.

 

 

 


	13. Cracks

 

Lily was down at breakfast earlier than she normally would have been on a Saturday morning – but this Saturday marked the first Quidditch match of the school year and, as always, Gryffindor would be facing their nemesis Slytherin right off the bat. Mary and Betty were still sleeping up in the sixth year girls’ dormitory, but Gwen’s nervous pacing had woken Lily up and they’d decided to go eat early. Marlene had got up and joined them, which was unusual. Then again, like most Purebloods, Marlene had been following the league since she’d been a child and was more fanatic about Quidditch than Lily would ever be.

Currently, Marlene was sitting with her brother Marcus, acting like any good little sister and being a right pain in the arse. Usually it was Marcus who was taking the mickey and calling her ‘Marbles,’ which she absolutely hated. But the first game brought out the nerves of everyone on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, so for once the tables of teasing siblings had turned.

Lily, in turn, drank her coffee and blinked across the table at Gwen, as she tried her best to wake up.

“Wanna have some eggs? Toast?” she asked her friend.

Gwen shook her head. “I’m not really hungry.”

“I know you’re not big on breakfast but you’ve got to eat something. You’ll need the strength to pummel the Slytherins,” Lily pointed out, though it was hard to sound reasonable when you were stifling a yawn.

“Ugh, fine.” Gwen rolled her eyes and reached for the toast.

Lily was just starting with her porridge, when Remus Lupin slumped down next to her and reached for the coffee.

“Morning,” Lily greeted him, earning a grunt in return.

“James not up yet?” Gwen asked, handing the coffee pot over.

“He’s up, just busy being a captain,” he replied as he poured himself a cup.

“Busy how?” Lily’s eyebrow rose.

“We ran into the fourth year girls that are on the team –”

“Wu and Willoughby,” Gwen supplied.

“Yeah, them. They seemed nervous so he stayed to give a pep talk or whatever.”

“The first game jitters,” Gwen grinned wryly. “I think I needed a pep talk, too, back in the day.”

“I remember. That was the only time I’ve ever seen you close to panic,” Lily said.

“We won the game though. I scored four times.”

“Better than James’ first game,” Remus murmured.

Gwen laughed and Lily blinked.

“I feel I’m missing the joke,” she said mildly.

“Don’t you remember? It was spectacular,” Gwen snickered.

“He took a Bludger to the head,” Remus said, “ten minutes into the game. Spent the rest of the day in the Hospital Wing.”

“Oh, right,” Lily frowned. “That was a nasty injury, really gave me a scare.”

“I’m touched that you’re so concerned about my well-being, Evans.”

Lily jumped a little, and stared at Potter as he sat down next to Gwen. She hadn’t heard him come in. What a sneak!

“I’m concerned about winning,” she retorted haughtily, “so stay away from the Bludgers, Potter. I need you to score points for us, and you can’t do that if you’re knocked senseless.”

Potter grinned at her from across the table. “Fear not, Evans, I want to win this as badly as you do.”

Lily nodded. “Good.” She met his twinkling hazel eyes and her lips curved into a smile. For once in their lives, the two of them just might be in a perfect understanding.

Lily returned to her porridge, and Remus drank his coffee, and got over his early morning grumpiness enough to join in on the banter.

The Great Hall was slowly filling as more students woke up and came down for breakfast. The more people took their seats at the four long tables, the more palpable the tension in the air became. Everyone was brimming with excitement; Quidditch matches were the highlights of the school year, along with Hogsmeade weekends. Up at the teacher’s table, Professor McGonagall was wearing her red and gold Gryffindor scarf in a show of support.

Lily was trying to coax both Remus and Gwen to take another slice of toast, when Mary and Betty joined them at the Gryffindor table, shortly followed by a bleary-eyed Sirius Black and yawning Peter Pettigrew. The sixth year Gryffindors all enjoyed their breakfast, brought together by the anticipation of the game.

When Potter finally got up, the rest of the Quidditch team followed suit, and all seven of them filed out, while the rest of the House waved and shouted wishes of good luck after them.

Lily drank a second cup of coffee while she waited for Mary, Marlene and Betty to finish eating, and then the Gryffindor girls rushed back up to the dormitory to get ready for the game.

The November temperatures were cold enough that Lily dug her mittens out of the trunk and wrapped her Gryffindor scarf around her neck. Betty painted a lion on Marlene’s cheek, then put on all-red make-up. She offered to lend her eyeshadow and lipstick, or paint lions for Lily and Mary too, but Mary shook her head and Lily replied that her red hair and her scarf would be enough to show House pride.

All dressed up and proofed against the cold, the girls made their way down to the Entrance Hall and then out to the grounds, following the trickle of students making their way towards the Quidditch pitch. It was a cloudy, nippy day, and their breaths fogged in the cool air.

“The wind is strong,” Mary said, fighting a shiver.

“Hope it’ll blow a few Slytherins off their brooms,” Marlene said.

Betty laughed, and Lily shook her head.

“Hey guys!” someone shouted from behind and the girls turned, seeing Dana Watson hurrying towards them with a cheerful smile.

“Mind if I join you?”

Betty and Marlene both slanted a look at Lily, who shrugged. “Sure, the more the merrier.”

Dana beamed and joined the girls as they all resumed walking towards the pitch.

“Nice headband,” Mary said.

Dana touched the bright red cloth keeping her dark hair back.

“Thanks,” she replied. “It’s not much, but I thought I should put on some show of support.”

“I’m sure James will appreciate it,” Betty chirped, smirking.

“He’d better,” Dana said, unbothered by the teasing. “I really like your face paint, puts you right into a Quidditch mood, that!”

“Thanks,” Betty said, looking very pleased.

“Let’s try to get seats somewhere in the middle,” Marlene suggested.

“Middle’s the best,” Dana agreed.  Then she nodded at the bundle Marlene was carrying. “What’s that?”

“It’s a banner we made to support Gwen,” Lily replied.

“We bring it to every match. I’m sure she’s embarrassed of us by now,” Marlene grinned.

Dana shook her head. “Speaking as a fellow Quidditch player, I’m sure Gwen loves it. My friends made a banner once for the final match and it made my day.”

“That’s so nice,” Mary sighed.

Lily nodded, studying Dana out of the corner of her eye. They could be friends, she thought, considering; she liked Dana well enough.

The girls reached the Quidditch pitch, and the small talk came to a halt as they climbed up to the stands. There were two more seats left free in the front row as they reached the top, and Marlene and Betty squeezed in and unfurled Gwen’s banner. Mary, Lily and Dana sat down in the row behind them. Lily saw Alice Morgan looking for a seat in the neighbouring stand and greeted her with a wave.

The students chatted and shifted restlessly, eagerly anticipating the match. Dark clouds swirled overhead, but there was no hint of rain, yet at least. The wind swelled again and tugged at their robes and hair.

“Not bad conditions, weather-wise,” Dana murmured from Lily’s right. “Should be a good game.”

“It’s Gryffindor versus Slytherin,” Lily said, her voice deadpan. “It’s often the most interesting match of the year.”

“I wonder why,” Dana quipped with a laugh. Lily was briefly jealous of her perfect dimples.

“I just realised – Hanley’s out of Hogwarts now isn’t he?” Mary said, turning to Dana.

“Yes, he’s out there in the real world now; interning at the Daily Prophet, actually,” Dana told them. “Trying to get into the sports department, of course.”

“Who’s the new commentator then?” Lily asked.

Marlene turned around to answer them. “Stebbins. You know, our year, Hufflepuff.”

“Bertram Aubrey’s mate,” Betty added.

“Really, _Stebbins_?” Dana asked.

“Guess the match just became even more interesting,” Lily commented, arching her eyebrow.

“Oh, they’re coming out now!” Mary cried, pointing at the seven people in scarlet robes making their way across the Quidditch field.

The crowd became noisier, as the excitement mounted. The Gryffindor team halted in the middle of the field to meet Madam Hooch and their opponents.

Dana grabbed her binoculars to see the players better, just as the new commentator Tobias Stebbins’ voice rang out.

“Welcome everyone, to the much anticipated game, the first Quidditch match of the season, Gryffindor versus Slytherin!”

The crowd cheered, and Marlene stomped her feet in the front row.

“Before we begin though there’s an important announcement I need to make: Sabine Elkins, would you like to go out with me some – sorry, Professor.”

“Off to a good start already,” Lily muttered, shaking her head.

“Moving on,” Stebbins’ voice boomed cheerfully. “The captains are shaking hands now, you can just feel that tension, can’t you? Gryffindor of course has a new captain this year, Chaser James Potter.”

Many of the Gryffindors in the audience, Lily included, clapped and hooted. Beside her, Dana yelled, “Go James!”

Down in the field, the two Quidditch teams mounted their brooms and kicked off.

“Joining the Chaser lineup we have a new face Holly Willoughby, and Kimberly Wu is the Gryffindor team’s new Seeker. Slytherin also has one new player this year, their Keeper Aaron Flint. Aaand we’re off. Very strong start from Potter, takes control of the Quaffle right away – passes on to Douglas who passes on to Willoughby – and Slytherin in possession! Mortimer steals the Quaffle and dodges a Bludger from Gryffindor’s O’Sullivan. Mortimer makes a beeline for the goal post but Keeper Marcus McKinnon is awake and blocks, Quaffle goes back to Gryffindor.”

Slytherins moaned in disappointment while Gryffindors celebrated.

Dana was leaning forward in her seat, intently following the players with her binoculars. Lily was starting to get into the game despite herself; she could no longer feel the cold wind nipping at her nose and cheeks. James Potter zoomed by the stands, the Quaffle tucked safely under his arm. Lily watched the three Chasers weave through the air, dodging Bludgers and Slytherin players as they passed the Quaffle back and forth.

“Willoughby passes back to Douglas,” Stebbins’ commentary went on. “Quick as always, Douglas makes a very impressive sharp turn there and – score! Gryffindor takes the lead, ten points to nil.”

The stands erupted. Mary shrieked in excitement. Lily’s breath fogged in the air as she yelled, vaguely aware that Dana was clapping her on the shoulder. In front of them, Marlene and Betty had jumped to their feet and were wildly waving Gwen’s banner.

“A very nice goal, but Slytherin are all the more determined now!” Stebbins continued. “Captain Talkalot has the Quaffle – nice dive to dodge a Bludger there, that was close! She passes to Mortimer; Mortimer swerves around Potter and throws the Quaffle to Sedgewick.  Chaser Sedgewick heads for the Gryffindor goal posts, takes aim – OUCH! Sedgewick takes a Bludger to his shoulder and drops the Quaffle.”

“Ha!” Marlene snorted. Lily grinned.

“Willoughby rushes to catch the Quaffle – bold flying from a newcomer! Mortimer tries to block but Willoughby passes to Douglas who almost flies into a Bludger. If she had been any slower that could’ve been nasty – WOW what a catch! Douglas fumbles the pass but Potter catches the Quaffle anyway. Potter flies on, Talkalot fast on his tail – and BOOM! Another goal for Gryffindor by Captain James Potter!”

The Gryffindors went wild.

And so the game went: Slytherin’s new Keeper was clearly nervous to be playing his very first game ever, and failing to block those first two goals had not bolstered his confidence. He wasn’t a match for the three Gryffindor Chasers who were all bringing their best game. Holly Willoughby was doing very well for a first-timer and matched Gwen’s and Potter’s pace nicely. As the Gryffindor team kept scoring, the Slytherin players grew frustrated and started committing fouls – serving Potter and his friends more chances to score. Marcus  let the Quaffle in a few times, but Gryffindor was in a soaring lead, with two hundred and thirty points against Slytherin’s meagre seventy.

Lily and her friends were in a festive mood, Marlene was already celebrating their victory.

“Chaser Sedgewick passes to Talkalot,” Tobias Stebbins’ spoke to his megaphone, “but James Potter intercepts the Quaffle and Gryffindor’s once again in poss– the Snitch!”

A collective gasp rippled through the audience and the players and the spectators alike gaped skyward to see both Seekers diving towards the Gryffindor goal posts. James Potter ignored the commotion and took advantage of the other players’ divided attentions to score another goal. Slytherin’s Keeper Aaron Flint wasn’t even trying to block the Quaffle; like everyone else  his eyes were following the two speeding figures at the other end of the Quidditch Pitch.

“Black is in the lead but Wu is gaining… Almost neck in neck now and Black is reaching – and he gets it! Slytherin’s own Regulus Black catches the Snitch and the game is over!”

The audience went wild. Lily and Mary had already done the math, and were on their feet, clutching at one another.

“With a score,” Stebbins’ bellowed over the cheering and groaning crowd, “of two hundred and forty points to two hundred twenty points, Gryffindor wins the match!”

Lily and Mary pulled apart and laughed at Marlene who was jumping up and down on her seat and making a complete ruckus. Then, to Lily’s surprise, Dana Watson turned to give her a quick hug.

“Congratulations!” she said, beaming.

Lily smiled back, her green eyes sparkling.

“You better hurry down,” she told Dana. “There’s someone else waiting to be congratulated by you.”

Dana laughed. “You’re right, he definitely needs the ego boost,” she joked. With a wave, she hurried down the row to get to the stairs.

Marlene jumped down from her seat and turned around to face Lily and Mary, her arm slung around Betty’s shoulders.

“Tonight, girls, we’ll celebrate!”

The four witches grinned.

“Come on then,” Lily said, as people around them began to file out down the stairs. “Let’s go give Gwen a good nice pat on the back for a game well played.”

 

* * *

 

 

By nightfall, James was weary to the bone. Worried about his Quidditch game, he’d slept fitfully the night before – and between those bouts of sleep, he’d been kept awake by the embarrassing memories of his less than graceful Quidditch debut three years ago. Running over manoeuvres and Chasing formations in his head, he’d managed to force down a modest breakfast. He hadn’t been so nervous about a game in years, but then, he’d never played as a Quidditch Captain before. The little badge loaded a lot of pressure and responsibility onto his shoulders.

He’d put on a brave face for his team, and given them a pep talk with an easy grin and confidence which was only partly genuine. Then they had gone out to the field.

All in all, it had been a good match, though also very draining for James. The Chasers had all played a very active game – which had been well worth the effort in the end when they lost the Snitch to the Slytherins. Still, he had tired more than usual; unlike before, he’d been much more aware of other player’s positions, and had been keeping an eye on his teammates. In time, he’d have to learn how he could best balance the mantles of a Chaser and the Captain.

When the game had ended in their victory, Dana had come down onto the field to congratulate him, and after James had changed out of his Quidditch robes, they walked to the castle together while talking about the game. Dana had complimented him on his flying, and James had been surprised to hear that she’d chosen to sit with Evans and the other Gryffindor girls. Ultimately, of course, they had fallen into a teasing debate over which team would win in the Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw match in April. The good-natured argument had lasted until they had parted way in the fifth floor: James invited Dana up to the Common Room but she had declined, saying this was Gryffindor’s celebration and she didn’t want to impose.

Up in the Gryffindor Common Room, most of the House had gathered to celebrate their victory over the Slytherins, and James had immediately found himself surrounded by his team. Everyone had been in a cheerful mood; even Wu, who’d been frustrated right after the game over her failure to catch the Snitch. James had accepted the congratulations from his house mates with a wide grin – which only brightened when Evans had walked up to him and told him he’d done well.

James had eaten a very hearty dinner that night, and his stomach full, had gone to take a nap after making Peter promise he’d wake him up when it was time.

The nap hadn’t really helped – James had been yawning constantly as he had sneaked through the castle and out onto the grounds, with Sirius beside him under the Invisibility Cloak, navigating by the Map. Peter, already in his rat form, had raced ahead of them as a look-out.

Now, the three of them stood before the Whomping Willow. The vicious tree restlessly waved its slender branches at them, independent of the wind whipping around them. James looked up: the sky was clear, speckled with stars, the full moon illuminating the cool night with its cold, eerie glow.

Peter’s squeak brought him back, and he peered down at his friend.

“Mischief managed,” Sirius said and folded the map, shoving it into his pocket. “All clear, guys. Pete, do your thing.”

“You could go back after we’ve gone through,” James suggested. “We could spare you, if you’d rather go and enjoy the victory party in the Common Room.”

Peter the rat rose to his hind legs and shook his head.

Sirius grinned. “Right on, mate!”

“All right then,” James said. “Let’s get going.”

Watching Peter scurry towards the trunk of the willow, dodging its thrashing branches, James steeled himself for the night ahead. Though he had successfully become an animagus, the process of transfiguring himself to an animal still felt uncomfortable. Witnessing Remus succumb to his affliction was even more painful still.

The Whomping Willow froze and Peter squeaked. James stumbled after Sirius, weaving through the stilled branches, and the two of them followed Peter into the tunnel at the root of the tree. Tucked out of sight, James pulled the Invisibility Cloak off Sirius and himself.

Sirius wasted no time; he transformed right away. James hesitated for a moment, under the guise of folding the Invisibility Cloak and tucking it away.

Truth be told, he was starting to have mixed feelings about their monthly excursions. The prospect of exploring freely with his friends still filled him with giddy excitement, as it always had.

But a small seed of doubt had been planted in his mind last spring – first with the mad prank Sirius had pulled on Snape, then with another near-miss last May with a drunk witch who’d been up late and a little too close to the Shrieking Shack.

That seed had over the months grown into a small nagging voice that called him and his friends reckless. Perhaps that was what they were, but even with the close calls they’d had, Remus still enjoyed being able to go out and roam free. And Remus, if anyone, deserved to be happy. Grimly, James put a lid on his doubts and gathered his nerve. He transfigured himself into a stag and trotted up the tunnel to meet his friends.

 

* * *

 

 

A mass of grey clouds swirled on the ceiling high up in the Great Hall, reflecting the general mood of the student population as Hogwarts faced another Monday morning. Lily sat between Mary and Marlene and was onto her second cup of coffee, hoping to wake up before that morning’s Herbology lesson. It wasn’t the best idea to be facing potentially murderous plants if you still felt half-asleep; she’d had her altercations with the Venomous Tentacula in the past. Beside her, Mary was chatting with Remus. Lily noticed some colour had returned to his face and was glad. He’d be all right, at least until the next full moon.

On Lily’s other side, Marlene wasn’t faring much better than she was: she was diligently chewing her toast but her eyes were vacant and staring.

Lily was wondering whether she should elbow Marlene’s side to bring some life into her, when a flutter of wings caught her attention. She looked at the owls swooping in the room, delivering mail. One dropped the day’s Daily Prophet into Potter’s lap – he almost spilled his tea in surprise.

Lily hid a smile. They were graceful creatures, owls, and clever too; she’d never grow tired of seeing them swirl silently in the air.

A brown, business-like owl landed by her empty porridge bowl and hooted softly. Lily untied the letter strapped to its foot with thanks, then smoothed out the envelope in her hands.

“Letter from home?” Mary asked.

“Yeah,” Lily replied, resisting the urge to rip it open then and there. Carefully, she tucked the letter into her pocket, promising herself to read it later. She missed her mum and dad, and wanted to savour their words.

Marlene finished with her toast and grimaced. “I should write home,” she muttered, combing her short blond hair with her fingers. “Mum is such a nag though.”

“That’s how mums are.” Mary sipped her pumpkin juice.

“Ugh,” was Marlene’s eloquent reply. “How is it Monday again?”

“How is it November already?” Lily said dryly. “It’ll be Christmas before we know it.”

“I really hope so. A break would do me good.”

“All of us would appreciate a break,” Mary agreed.

Lily finished her coffee. “No rest for the wicked. We should get going.”

Marlene groaned but got up to her feet. The three girls left the Gryffindor table, clutching their bags and scarfs – having brought their things down to breakfast with them to save an extra trip up to the Gryffindor tower before heading out to the Greenhouses. Monday mornings were bad enough without running several flights of stairs up and down unnecessarily.

They were almost to the door, just past the Ravenclaw table, when Lily felt a tug at her elbow. She looked up to see Connor.

“Morning,” he wished her, then leaned down and kissed her in full view of the Great Hall. By the time he pulled away, grinning, Lily’s cheeks were aflame.

“I’ll see you around,” he promised, his eyes laughing.

Lily nodded quickly and fled.

Marlene was laughing as they got to the Entrance Hall.

“I like him. You should keep him.”

“Shut up,” Lily grumbled.

“You should see your face.”

“I wonder what your face would look like if Benjy did that to you,” Lily retorted.

“He wouldn’t,” Marlene sniffed. “We’re not one of those couples who snog in public.”

“No, you’re the kind of a couple who sneaks around behind everyone’s backs and hides away in empty classrooms after hours.”

Marlene gasped. “Lily!”

“See, you shouldn’t tease your friends _too_ much; especially if they know all your secrets,” Lily grinned.

The girls stopped before the front door to put on their scarfs and brace themselves before plunging into the cold November air.

“Nice going, Evans,” Sirius’ voice drawled from behind them. “Maybe next time you could get yourself a room.”

Lily glanced over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. “Don’t sound so bitter, Black, I’m sure you could find someone to kiss your hurt feelings  better if you asked around.”

Remus, walking just a few steps behind Sirius, snorted a laugh.

Sirius didn’t reply, but the look in his grey eyes was less than friendly.

Lily ignored him, and followed her friends outside.

“Don’t see why he’s so bothered over other people snogging,” Marlene muttered under her breath.

“A few seconds back you were the one making fun of Lily,” Mary reminded her.

“Yes, but I’m her _friend_ , I’m supposed to take the mickey, given such a splendid opportunity! Black’s just being an arse.”

“He’s cranky because he’s jealous,” Lily said.

“Jealous?” Marlene repeated incredulously. “He’s never been into you, and I don’t think he has hots for Connor, either.”

Mary giggled. “That’s not what Lily means. Go on, have a look.”

Marlene frowned but turned around to look behind them. Sirius and Remus were following them, turning onto the path to the Greenhouses.

“What’s so special about them walking behind us?” Marlene asked. “They’re having Herbology with us.”

“So is Potter,” Lily said. “But he’s not walking with his mates, is he?”

“Oh. You meant Black is jealous of Watson?”

“I don’t think he’s used to competing for Potter’s attention,” Lily replied.

“James hasn’t really dated anyone before, has he?” Mary asked.

“No, I don’t think he has,” Marlene said thoughtfully. “Though several girls have bragged about snogging him.”

“Don’t they always,” Lily huffed.

Marlene grinned. “Poor Black must be feeling lonely.”

The girls arrived at their designated Greenhouse, and greeted the few classmates already waiting outside the building. Sirius and Remus arrived a moment later. Remus offered Lily a wry grin, while Sirius pointedly ignored her. Other students began to show up, and then finally Professor Sprout arrived, her fly-away hair bobbing as she ushered everyone inside. Everyone had already chosen a work table, when a pair of giggling students burst in from the door, barely making it to the lesson on time.

Lily nudged Marlene and nodded towards the newcomers. It was James Potter and Dana Watson. Their heads were bent together and they were holding hands, both shaking from breathless laughter.

“I think Black will just have to get used to feeling lonely,” Lily whispered, as Professor Sprout bid them all good morning.


	14. Jealousy

 

“I don’t wanna do this anymore,” Gwen complained to Lily on Monday afternoon as the Fat Lady’s portrait swung aside to admit them to the Gryffindor Common Room. “I worked my arse off all afternoon yesterday to get that bloody Runes translation done and now we have another one due Thursday!”

“That’s how school assignments work,” Lily said, as they climbed through the portrait hole. “There’s always going to be more. Just breathe, Gwen. Breathe and repeat after me: six weeks ‘til Christmas break.”

“Six weeks…” Gwen murmured, stopping in the Common Room. “I guess I’ll survive six weeks.”

“That’s my girl,” Lily patted her shoulder. “Look, even Marlene’s giggling.”

Gwen glanced where Lily was pointing, a corner of the Common Room where Marlene and Benjy were playing chess.

“Ugh,” Gwen commented. “I’m still not used to that.”

Lily grinned as she followed Gwen to the staircase leading to the girls’ dormitories.

“I agree; this new giggly Marlene is weird. I’m glad she’s happy, though.”

“Maybe I should get myself a bloke, too,” Gwen said thoughtfully.

“That would help distract you from homework,” Lily said, her face carefully blank. “Anyone in mind?”

“Not really… I’d be tempted to go after Marcus if Marlene wouldn’t have a complete hissy fit over that.”

“Yeah… after how she reacted when she heard he’d kissed me once years ago, I think dating him is out of question.” Lily shook her head.

The girls entered their dormitory. It was empty, save for Lily’s cat Augustus and a slip of parchment on top of Lily’s trunk. She picked it up.

At the library, see you at dinner! XO Mary

“Craig O’Sullivan’s fit,” Gwen commented, dropping her school bag by her bed and falling onto it with a sigh.

Lily pictured the tall seventh year who played Beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. “He is,” she agreed. “Though are you allowed to date within the team? I imagine things could get nasty for everyone if romantic relationships went awry…”

“It’s not forbidden. Though James might frown upon it. He can be very particular.”

“I never thought I’d hear that of Potter,” Lily snorted. “But he is passionate about Quidditch, even more than you are.”

“Craig will do,” Gwen decided. “I’ll ask him tomorrow.”

“Good luck,” Lily said. She propped her pillows against the headboard of her bed and curled up. She dug the letter she’d received that morning out of her pocket, and pulled her napping cat into her lap. Augustus didn’t bat an eye, just continued sleeping, as Lily opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.

Warmth flooded her chest at the sight of her mother’s handwriting, the faint whiff of her perfume on the paper. She stared for a moment at the Dear Lily at the top of the letter, before she started to greedily skim the lines. They were doing fine at home, her mother reported, though Dad had had to miss a few days of work because of the flu. They were looking forward to the Christmas break and having Lily home; the house felt so empty now since Petunia had left for London. She was doing well, too, and spoke highly of her typing course and her teachers, who all thought she was a great student.

Lily hummed to herself. She’d be bored out of her mind but – well, if Petunia liked it, good for her.

At the end of the letter, her mother told about a dinner party they’d hosted for their friends and neighbours. It seemed that all in all, life in Cokeworth was going as usual.

Still, despite the letter’s reassurances, Lily wondered how her parents were actually adjusting to having the house all to themselves. Dad of course had work, but mum… this time of the year she couldn’t really putter about the garden, either. Lily hoped that club meetings and friends and dinner parties would help to keep her mum busy. Or maybe they were glad they no longer had teenage daughters underfoot?

Lily got up, earning a protesting grunt from Augustus as he slid off her lap. She reached over the edge of her bed and dug around her school bag for her writing utensils. Soon enough, Gwen had immersed herself in some new Quidditch magazine she’d borrowed from Potter, and Lily had a piece of parchment spread over her Ancient Runes dictionary. She wrote a letter to her parents with her careful cursive, telling them she was doing well in her classes and that their House had won the first Quidditch Match…

Her quill slowed, then paused completely, as Lily gnawed on her lip. Should she also mention Connor? There was no reason, really, to keep Connor a secret from her family – yet, she felt reluctant to tell them about him. Mainly because it was a highly personal matter, and it was bad enough that the whole school was aware and opinionated about her love life. It would be nice if at home she could be safe from prodding and prying.

Her mind made, she resumed writing about how Augustus had caught a mouse for her last week. Perhaps she would tell them when she went home for Christmas break but for now… she’d keep Connor all to herself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lily, Gwen and Marlene went down to dinner together, and joined Mary and Betty who were already sitting in their usual spot at the Gryffindor table. They ate and chatted, complaining about their classes and gossiping about the latest couple – it appeared that Sabine Elkins of Hufflepuff had indeed agreed to go out with Tobias Stebbins next Hogsmeade weekend.

“Maybe tomorrow we’ll be spreading rumours about you and O’Sullivan,” Lily murmured to Gwen.

Gwen rolled her eyes.

After Lily couldn’t eat one more spoonful of pudding, she got up with a groan. Remus followed suit, and they bid goodbye to their friends and left the Great Hall together, heading up to the third floor classroom for their prefect meeting.

“You’re looking well,” Lily said as they walked up the stairs.

“I’ve been better,” he replied. “Didn’t get much rest over the weekend.”

Much as Lily appreciated Remus’ sarcastic tendencies, she really didn’t like that ironic smile twisting his lips.

“It was an exciting weekend,” she said in a light tone. “For those who love Quidditch, anyway. I can only imagine how insufferable Potter was for the rest of the Saturday.”

Remus snorted. “Managed to escape most of his strutting.”

“Glad to hear that,” Lily said. “Anyway… I was wondering if I could borrow your Transfiguration notes? I tried to get started on McGonagall’s assignment this afternoon but I just couldn’t concentrate and my own notes are a mess.”

Remus’ smile grew both softer and warmer.

“Of course, happy to help. I left them up in the dorm, but I’ll get them for you after the meeting. Let me know if you have trouble with the assignment.”

Lily beamed at him. “Thanks, Remus, you’re the best.”

“No.” He shook his head, then nudged her with his elbow. He glanced at her, grinning. “You are.”

“Eww,” a haughty voice spoke from behind them. Meredith Payne, seventh year Slytherin, pushed past them – quite literally. Lily stumbled and Remus had to steady her and help her catch her footing before she slipped down the stairs.

Meredith cast a cold glance at them over her shoulder. “It was bad enough to see you snog your boyfriend this morning, Mudblood; ruined everyone’s breakfast. Don’t need to see you flirting out in the corridors, too.”

With a last withering glare and a scornful hair flick, she strode off towards the prefect meeting.

For a moment, the two of them stared dumbly at her retreating back.

Eventually, Remus recovered and patted Lily’s shoulder. “Golly, you should’ve told me you were flirting, Lily,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “And here I thought you were just being friendly.”

Lily groaned. “I had just managed to forget about this morning,” she muttered, as she resumed walking. “How am I going to face Connor now?”

“With a glorious blush, I imagine,” Remus suggested with a teasing grin.

“Oh yes, that much is a given,” Lily grumbled ruefully. She clutched at the strap of her school bag, trying in vain to steel herself. She hated that she was so easily flustered.

They stepped into the half-empty classroom and found seats. Alice and Connor were standing in the front of the room, studying a sheet of parchment together. Ravenclaw’s Florence Langton was sitting next to Sabine Elkins, probably so she could inquire after her upcoming date with Tobias Stebbins.

Kat Whyte gave Lily a cheery wave, while some other acquaintances nodded or smiled. Connor glanced up from the parchment, enough to find Lily and give her a quick wink.

She slumped just a little in her chair, and hastily bent to get her writing utensils out of her bag so she could hide her burning cheeks.

The butterflies fluttering about the pit of her stomach were rather nice, though.

 

 

* * *

 

 

James lit the fire with a quick flick of his wand and carefully set up his cauldron. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for the double potions ahead; they’d be continuing brewing from where they’d left off the day before, and this particular concoction was very finicky. James didn’t want all his hard work from their last lesson to go to waste.

He looked up just as Lily and Mary entered the Potions classroom, and grinned at them in greeting. He couldn’t help but notice that another pair of eyes also followed the girls as they made their way to the table they shared with James and Remus – or at least, one of them.

Thankfully, Lily didn’t seem to notice, quirking her eyebrow at James as she sat down across from him. Perhaps at last she’d perfected the art of ignoring Snape.

While the girls set up their cauldrons, James flipped to the right page of their textbook so he could re-read the instructions. He was perhaps half-way through when Slughorn waddled into the classroom, with his paunchy belly, generous moustache and jovial smile.

“Welcome all to another afternoon of Potions!” He set the box he’d been carrying under his arm on his desk and turned to beam at the class. “I have the fruits of your labour right here, so come and pick up your potion, so you can carry on your work from where we left off yesterday!”

“Don’t get up,” James told Lily and Mary. “I can bring yours, too.”

“Thanks!” Mary chirped.

“What a gentleman you are, Potter,” Lily murmured, her voice dry with sarcasm.

“If he was, he’d offer to pick up my potion too,” Remus remarked, getting up with a slow, resigned air.

James jumped off his seat and made a mocking bow to Lily, before walking over to Slughorn’s desk with Remus.

“My hero,” Lily said as James handed over the jar containing her potion with flourish. Her tone of voice still carried clear mockery, but the smile on her lips was genuine. James grinned at her, then busied himself with his own potion.

The four of them worked in a silence broken only by the rhythmic chopping of their small silver knives, the slow bubbling of their simmering concoctions, and the odd grumbling swear words muttered by Remus.

Much as James enjoyed their typical conversations – since Potions classes often did provide the perfect opportunity for a friendly and casual chat with Lily – he was grateful of the silence now as the complex potion required his full concentration.

James bent over his cauldron and measured a careful three drops of morning dew collected on the spring equinox, then stirred twice, once clockwise, once counter clockwise. He leaned back in his chair, and wiped his fogged glasses with the sleeve of his robes. Putting them back on, his eyes briefly met with Lily’s; she frowned, then looked down at her potion.

James triple-checked the next step of the potion’s instructions, and then shredded six nettle leaves, tossing them into his cauldron with a grimace, then stirred his brew yet again. His glasses fogged from the vapours of his potion. He made to clean them again, but they were snatched right out of his hand with Lily’s impatient, “Oh give them here!”

Her red hair was vivid even in his blurred vision, and her voice rang in his ears as she softly murmured an incantation.

“There,” she said, pushing the glasses back into the palm of his hand, her fingers feather light as they brushed his skin.

“Can’t believe you haven’t bothered to learn the Impervius Charm by now,” Lily muttered to herself as James put on his fog-free glasses.

“Cheers, Evans.”

“Anything to stop you from fidgeting every three minutes,” she retorted.

James grinned and then went back to work.

Slughorn wandered by their table some time later, with high, loud and rather excessive praise for Lily and her potion, and a puzzled frown and “a little more effort, perhaps, Mr Lupin?” for Remus.

Remus groaned as soon as Slughorn had gone, and leaned over the table.

“Lily,” he hissed in a furious whisper that did little to improve James’ concentration, “I need your help.”

“I’d love to, but I’m a little busy here,” Lily replied, frowning at the dragon bone powder she was so carefully measuring.

“I loaned you my Transfiguration notes,” Remus reminded her.

James arched his eyebrow.

Lily swore under her breath and set down her powder. She slipped out of her seat and circled the table, squeezing between Remus and James to inspect Remus’ potion.

The last traces of James’ concentration vanished completely when Lily’s elbow rubbed against James’ arm. She murmured a quick apology – which James scarcely heard – as he sat still, trying not to blush or breathe in the lovely scent of her hair too deeply. 

James swallowed, trying to ease his dry throat, then forced himself to start chopping the frog liver. Trying to concentrate on his potion and ignore Evans standing right beside him; for a second or two he was relieved that Dana wasn’t taking Advanced Potions. But that relief evaporated quickly and a pinprick of guilt rode right on its heels.

Why should he feel so relieved that his girlfriend wasn’t here to see him with Evans? Perhaps he’d been a little flustered with her proximity, but that was just because he hadn’t been expecting it! And in any case, he hadn’t done anything wrong by Dana, had he?

He squirmed as he added the frog liver to his potion and was unable to relax until Lily finally returned to her own seat.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next Tuesday started like any other Tuesday; with double Defence Against the Dark Arts. This was, alongside Charms and Potions, one of the lessons Lily most looked forward to. She admired all of her teachers, but even so Professor Quirke had become her role model. She often found herself thinking she wanted to be like her. Also, the double lessons always ended with practical training, which usually was a bit of friendly sparring to practice Non-Verbally countering curses, hexes and jinxes.

Lily always enjoyed these, as they were a prime opportunity to sharpen her skills. The world outside Hogwarts was at war, and Lily might as well have a target painted on her forehead. Suffice to say, she’d need all the practice she could get if she wanted to survive.

The lesson started typically enough, with Professor Quirke returning and going over their essays, then moving on to a new portion of theory. But when the time came to put what they’d learned into practice, things took a turn to the path less travelled.

It all happened so fast Lily had barely realised what was going on before she found herself stranded.

It begun with James pairing up with Dana. He’d done that before, without much of an issue, but for some reason this time Sirius decided to retaliate by snatching Gwen. Remus and Peter rolled their eyes at their mates being stupid and paired up together. Betty had gone over to Evelyn Fetherstone of Hufflepuff and by the time Lily turned to Mary and Marlene, the two of them had already gone and formed a pair.

Undeterred by this mad pair swap game orchestrated by the sixth year Gryffindors, Lily decided to go ask if she could practise with one of the Ravenclaws – Andrew Buchanan perhaps – when she found her way blocked by a Slytherin.

Only two of them were taking Defence Against Dark Arts so they usually reluctantly paired together – why one of them wanted to break the status quo and partner up with a Mudblood of all people, Lily couldn’t even start to guess.

She supposed she had to be grateful for the small mercies; at least it wasn’t Snape. She’d had quite enough of being at the receiving end of his wand, and the experience had been scarring both emotionally and physically.

Not that Lily was that excited to practise with Adeleine Blastock, either… but she didn’t want to make a scene, not in front of Professor Quirke.

Lily swallowed her irritation and accepted her fate. She raised her wand in defence, though she still couldn’t help being suspicious.

It was harder than usual to prepare for her Shield Charm. Non-Verbal spells required a lot of concentration and Lily’s mind was the opposite of focused as she scowled at Adeleine, her thoughts whirling in a tangle.

What was Adeleine’s motive? A chance to publically humiliate Lily? To prove something to her fellow Slytherins by sparring against a Muggleborn? 

Lily bit her lip. No, somehow those didn’t seem quite likely; Adeleine had sneered at Lily often enough in a typical snobbish Slytherin fashion, but they didn’t have any personal animosity between them, unlike with certain other housemates of hers – in fact, Lily couldn’t recall a single instance of Adeleine verbally insulting her. In the past, she’d seemed content enough with pointed sniffs and turning her back on Lily.

Lily’s troubled thoughts scattered as Adeleine moved. She slashed her wand in a sharp flick and Lily barely managed to scramble her focus together in time to cast her shield. Her shoulders slumped a little in relief. One day, she should try to deliberately get hit by whatever hex her partner threw at her, to see if she could counter it on her own – but that really was not something she wanted to try when practising with someone she couldn’t trust, let alone understand.

Lily had never been able to make much sense of Adeleine Blastock. In so many ways they were from two very different worlds. Sometimes Adeleine reminded her a little of Sirius Black; they had the same haughty, effortlessly aristocratic air.

There she stood now, cold and distant, her face as expressive as that of a porcelain doll, her wand raised and at the ready.

Lily gritted her teeth and forced her wandering thoughts in order. She decided on a jinx and hurled it at Adeleine, who deflected it with a surprisingly quick swish.

And so it went, back and forth: a normal practice session by all accounts with no foul play whatsoever. At last, Professor Quirke told the class to stop as the Defence for the Dark Arts came to its end. Adeleine skulked away as noiselessly as she had first appeared, leaving Lily more confused than ever.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sirius Black burst in through the door – and crudely broke the relative quiet and peace of the dorm room.

He glanced around at his friends as he crossed the room, and grimaced.

“What’re you doing?” he asked, shaking his head in disappointment. “It’s Friday night! Away with the schoolwork, let’s work some mischief, mates!”

“But I’m already behind,” Peter said. He chewed anxiously on his quill as he sat on his bed surrounded by textbooks and scrolls of parchment.

“There’s plenty of time until Monday, Pete,” Sirius replied flippantly. “Never do something today if you can do it tomorrow.”

“Which is the exact formula for getting behind on your schoolwork,” Remus’ dry voice chimed in. He was lounging on his own bed, a novel in his lap.

“Merlin, when did you all get so boring?” Sirius crossed his arms and leaned against the Peter’s bedpost.

“Since this year began,” Remus replied, “and all these lovely advanced lessons started.”

Peter nodded, looking quite defeated. “And I thought I was having trouble in Charms last year.”

“Come on now, chin up!” Sirius tried again. “You know the best way to tell the teachers to sod off? Come up with a brilliant prank.”

“I’m not sure I have any brainpower left for plotting,” Peter replied, miserably mopping his forehead.

James chose that moment to walk in, his broom propped on his shoulder, his dark hair a damp mess.

“Prongs! Mate!” Sirius cried, his grey eyes lighting up. “What do you say for some long-overdue mischief making?”

James put aside his broom, plopped down on his bed and grinned. “Why’re you even asking that? You know I’m always ready for mischief.”

“See?” Sirius gestured at James and regarded Remus and Peter with disdain. “That right there is what a real friend looks like.”

“Funny how the whiniest of us is actually the only one who’s of age,” Remus commented to no one in particular and picked up his novel.

“Settle down, lads,” James said, shaking his head. “No need to ruin a perfectly nice evening by bickering.”

“I just want my mates to stop being so boring,” Sirius replied, walking over to sit beside James.

“Leave them be,” James said. “It’s that time of the school year when everyone’s getting stressed and starting to look forward to Christmas break. Maybe we could do something to lift everyone’s spirits.”

Sirius pursed his lips. “Not quite what I was going after, but all right. There’s still an opportunity for mischief making.”

“Of course!” James smirked. “Whatever we come up with, I’m sure it’ll need plenty of planning and sneaking around.”

“Well then,” Sirius grinned, “let’s get on it!”

Remus rolled his eyes and hid behind his book. Peter sweated over his pile of schoolwork. But James and Sirius, bearing almost identical crooked smiles, bent their heads together and started brainstorming. They tossed around ideas, scrapping some from the start while exploring a few others further, but nothing really seemed to click.

Finally, Sirius frowned. “Something seasonal, maybe?” he suggested, sounding a little uncertain.

“That might be nice,” James said. “Did you have anything in mind?”

“I’m not sure, just when you said people were looking forward to Christmas break, I just started to think it’s getting more like winter day by day so maybe we could use that as a starting point…”

“Snow,” Remus drawled from behind his novel.

James and Sirius swung around to stare at their friend.

“What?”

“Everyone loves the first snow,” Remus shrugged. “And we haven’t had ours yet.”

James ran his hand through his hair and turned to Sirius. “What d’you think?”

“Make it snow for dinner in the Great Hall. Maybe in some of the corridors too. That might work,” Sirius said slowly.

“No snowstorms, please,” Peter piped up.

“Nah, we’ll want those big fluffy sort of flakes that float down gently – the kind of snow that puts you in a good mood.”

“Snow it is,” Sirius decided. “What do you know about weather spells?”

“Not much,” James admitted. “We’ll have to look it up, hit the library…”

“All right. Let’s go!” Sirius jumped up.

“Now?” James protested, raising his eyebrow.

“Curfew’s never stopped us before, Prongs. And we can still squeeze under your Cloak.”

“No it’s just – what’s the rush?”

Sirius looked at him, exasperated. “If we’re gonna do this tomorrow, we need to get on it now.”

“Wait, tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, matter-of-fact.

“But… Tomorrow’s the Quidditch game between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,” James hedged.

“Exactly!” Sirius beamed. “With most of the school out in the Quidditch Pitch it’ll be the perfect opportunity to set everything up.”

“Yes, but… Well, I’ll be down at the Pitch too,” James said sheepishly, picking at a strand of his hair.

Sirius’ smile faded, turned into a scowl. “What? Why?”

“Because I’m the Quidditch Captain and I need to keep an eye on our opponents,” James replied, fiddling with his glasses.

The silence stretched, then Sirius’ lips twisted sardonically.

“Ah yes. Of course. Because you’re the Quidditch Captain. The fact your girlfriend’s playing is just a happy coincidence.”

James didn’t quite meet his eyes. “Well, yeah… there’s that too,” he admitted.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Sirius snorted. “I should’ve guessed that when you said you were always ready for mischief, you actually meant ‘as long as it doesn’t mess with my love life’.”

“Look, Padfoot…” James’ voice was caught between pleading and exasperation. “We can still do that prank another time? We could go set it up tomorrow night, to snow down during breakfast on Sunday morning – or maybe Monday –”

“Nah, you don’t have to force yourself.”

“I’m not,” James insisted. Exasperation had won. “I still want to do the prank, it’s just tomorrow’s not a good time for me.”

“Yeah, sure.”

James grunted in annoyance. “Merlin, Padfoot, stop being so bloody unreasonable.”

Sirius stood up. His grey eyes were hard, his back decidedly turned to James.

“I’d rather be unreasonable than ditch my mates because of some bird.”

With that, his shoulders rigid with anger, Sirius strode across the room, banged the door shut behind him, and didn’t return to the dorm all night.

 


	15. One Insult Too Many

 

The crowd making its way towards the Quidditch Pitch on Saturday morning was bubbling with excitement.

James Potter, however, was not.

Sirius had not come back after storming out of their dormitory last night. He hadn’t showed up for breakfast, either.

James tugged at his hair in frustration. On one hand, he was angry at Sirius, for being so bloody unreasonable… But on the other, he felt a prick of guilt. What if Sirius was right? What if James was neglecting his friends?

The problem was, he only had so much time to spare after lessons and schoolwork and Quidditch. Compromises had to be made, right? And so far at least Remus and Peter hadn’t voiced any complaints. So he just didn’t know where that left him.

James’ jaw set. Enough wallowing: he wouldn’t let this stupid row with Sirius ruin the Quidditch match.

He straightened and let his gaze wander, taking in the people milling around him, decked in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff colours. The lone splash of red in the sea of yellow and blue caught his eye.

James blinked, hastened his steps. “Evans?”

She stopped and turned, offered him a wave. Beside her, the Head Boy, Connor Matheson, glanced back and gave James a nod.

James caught up with them.

“Since when have you become such a devout follower of Quidditch?” he asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Since someone cornered me at breakfast and insisted I tag along,” Evans replied with a shrug.

“Now who would do such a thing?” Matheson wondered, his eyes twinkling. “You’re here to cheer for Dana?”

James nodded.

“Dana’s a lucky girl. Lily refuses to cheer for Ravenclaw.”

“The difference here is that Potter’s girlfriend is actually playing, so he’s not cheering for a team, just for Dana,” Evans pointed out.

“Getting Evans to show up to a Quidditch game at all is a medal-worthy achievement,” James added, grinning at Matheson.

“She did admit she isn’t the biggest fan,” Matheson agreed, nudging Evans. “So I suppose I should count this as a victory.”

“Definitely,” Evans smirked, nudging him back.

The interaction made James feel like a third wheel, and he was just trying to figure out how to make a graceful exit, when Matheson turned to him.

“We should get going if we want to see the match,” he said.

James’ shoulders slumped a little in relief. Right on cue, the perfect opportunity to part ways.

But instead of the “it was nice talking to you” that James was expecting, Matheson continued with: “Want to join us?”

James tugged at his hair, slanted a look at Evans. “I wouldn’t want to impose on your date,” he replied, hoping his voice would sound light and carefree.

“If it was a real date, I wouldn’t be extending invitations,” Matheson reassured him with a laugh. “Besides, I figure Lily might appreciate the company of a fellow Gryffindor.”

James looked dubiously at Evans.

She rolled her eyes. “Come along, Potter. I bet Dana won’t like it if you’re late.”

Well, there was no graceful exit now, James thought ruefully. He offered Evans and Matheson a hesitant grin and followed the two of them to the Quidditch Pitch.

 

* * *

 

 

“So,” Remus asked the moment Lily sat down next to Mary at the Gryffindor table, “how was your date?”

“First of all, it wasn’t a date,” Lily replied primly, helping herself to a jug of pumpkin juice.

“Uh huh,” Marlene chimed in, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Gwen arrived and took a seat next to Lily.

“Why don’t you get on _her_ case?” Lily asked, nodding at Gwen. “She’s the one who was on a date.”

“And it was amazing,” Gwen said, grinning.

“And that’s why we don’t pick on her,” Marlene replied. “She’s no fun, doesn’t get flustered at all.”

Lily rolled her eyes.

“Let me get this straight,” Remus began, his eyes twinkling with wry amusement. “You and Connor Matheson went to see the Quidditch game together. Gwen and…?”

“Craig,” Gwen supplied, waving her fork to Craig’s direction near the end of the table where a bunch of seventh years were sitting.

“Gwen and Craig O’Sullivan went to see the Quidditch game together,” Remus continued, turning to Lily. “Yet, according to you, one of these was a date while the other was not.”

“The chosen activity itself doesn’t make it a date,” Lily shrugged, her attention on her dinner.

“Their situations are different,” Mary agreed. “Lily and Connor have been dating for almost a month. I’m not sure Gwen and Craig are even dating.”

“Since we went on our first date today, I’d say we’re dating,” Gwen said. “But I get what you’re trying to say, Mary. My thing with Craig is new, and much more casual than Lily and Connor’s relationship.”

“That makes no sense,” Marlene snorted. “If Lily and Connor are the serious pair, why weren’t they the ones on a date?”

“Because this was the first opportunity for Gwen and Craig to get out of the castle and because they both love Quidditch, so going to watch the game was more meaningful to them?” Mary countered.

“Because Connor said ours wasn’t a real date right before he invited Potter to join us,” Lily added.

Marlene choked on her pumpkin juice and Lily took some pleasure in hearing her hacking coughs – petty, perhaps, but everyone had their moments of schadenfreude.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said, “but did you just say you went on a date with Connor _and_ James?”

“I most certainly did not, because it wasn’t a date and you know it!” Lily levelled her butter knife at Remus. “Don’t make me hurt you, Lupin.”

Remus arched his eyebrow, obviously unimpressed by the threat.

Gwen was looking at Lily. “You go to watch a Quidditch game voluntarily when it isn’t even your House playing – and you watch it together with James Potter? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”

“Hahaha. You’re all hilarious,” Lily deadpanned.

“We try our very best,” Remus assured her.

“How come you’re sitting with us anyway?” Marlene asked, tilting her head. “I mean you’re welcome to join us any time, Remus, but you usually… don’t.”

Lily noticed the hard glint in Remus’ eyes, and followed his gaze down the table where Black and Pettigrew sat. Black’s face was haughty, his shoulders stiff.

“Too much drama?” Lily asked, offering Remus a sympathetic grimace.

“Trouble in paradise?” Gwen guessed, nodding towards the Ravenclaw table, where James was dining with Dana.

“You might say that, yes,” Remus said, a wry smile briefly touching his lips.

“I’m sure it’ll blow over soon,” Mary said.

“Yeah, things will be back to usual in no time,” Marlene agreed.

“Thanks,” Remus said quietly.

Lily wasn’t sure it would be quite as simple as that, but she kept her thoughts to herself, and concentrated on her dinner.

 

* * *

 

 

If there was one thing the entire student population of Hogwarts might agree on, it was that Monday mornings were the worst.

Lily’s Monday morning was even more miserable than usual; it was the time of the month that made her rue having been born a woman. And as wonderful as magic was, there were things it could not fix. So the usual Muggle painkillers were the best Lily could do.

There was a hesitant knock on the door, followed by Mary’s voice.

“Lily? Are you going to take much longer?”

Lily got up with a groan, shuffled over to the sink to wash her hands, then popped the bathroom door open.

“It’s all yours,” she told her friends as she stepped into the dorm room.

Gwen looked at her with sympathy.

“Feeling any better?”

“Not really, but I hope the painkillers will at least make the cramps tolerable.”

Mary hugged Lily’s shoulders and hurried to the bathroom. 

“It’s stupid, magical healing is capable of so many amazing things Muggle medicine can only dream of – and yet there’s no cure for menstrual pain,” Lily grumbled.

“Tell me about it,” Marlene said, looking almost as happy as Lily felt.

“You know what that means?” Gwen asked, quirking her eyebrow at Lily.

“What?” she replied a little testily.

“That once you become a bigshot healer, you’ll just have to invent a cure yourself.”

“Yes!” Marlene cried. “Lily, please, I’m counting on you – all the witches in the world are counting on you!”

Her body was still a nest of aches and she still felt quite miserable – but despite everything, laughter bubbled on Lily’s lips, and gratitude swelled in her chest.

“I suppose I could try to whip up a potion, once I am a bigshot healer.” Lily flashed her friends a smile. “Thanks, guys.”

“You’d better make good on that promise,” Marlene said, shaking her finger at Lily.

“If you insist,” Lily said.

“I do,” Marlene said with a fervent nod. “You’re not the only one with cramps.”

Lily grimaced, meeting Marlene’s eyes.

Mary emerged from the bathroom, and halted as she reached Lily.

“Is the painkiller working?” she asked, sounding a little concerned.

“I’ll be fine,” Lily promised. Maybe it was the medicine, maybe it was that she had amazing friends, but she was feeling much better than she had only moments before. “Ready to go get some breakfast?”

A chorus of agreement broke out, and the sixth year Gryffindor girls left their dorm room and made their way down.

 

* * *

 

 

Sirius Black was not stupid, and he had enough self-awareness to admit that perhaps, sometimes, he spoke without thinking everything through. That had got him into trouble in the past – most recently with James. He’d let the anger get the best of him, said some things he wished he could take back. But he had too much pride to apologise, and the situation hadn’t considerably changed; in fact, James had deliberately snubbed them and dined with Dana on Saturday evening.

That was why, three days after his and James’ little spat, Sirius was still seething – perhaps even more than he had been originally, because now he was angry at himself as well.

Naturally, all that anger had to find an outlet somewhere. But this time, he just may have picked the wrong scapegoat.

Sirius knew he had made a gross misstep the moment the words left his mouth. The ringing silence at the breakfast table that met his casually offered remark was a big clue; as was the fact that Moony actually dropped his fork. Prongs was brandishing his like he wanted to lunge across the table and stab Sirius with it.

“I’m sorry,” Evans spoke with that frosty, clipped tone people used when they were forcing themselves to remain calm. “Would you care to repeat that, Black?”

Peter shook his head, his eyes wide, and James was giving him the don’t-you-fucking-dare stare, but Sirius ignored them both. He was a Gryffindor, and he would not back down.

“I said,” he drawled purposefully as Moony groaned loudly beside him, “that you should do us all a favour, Evans, and pull that wand out of your arse!”

Evans did not reply, she was glaring at him, her green eyes ablaze. She was still absentmindedly holding her cup, and her knuckles had gone white. MacDonald had instantly latched herself onto the red-head’s arm and bent her head close to rapidly whisper into her ear, while McKinnon held on to Evans’ other arm, but whether to comfort her friend or restrain her, Sirius wasn’t quite sure.

Then the three girls suddenly stood up as one, and left the table, McKinnon casting a long, dirty look at Sirius over her shoulder.

“Padfoot, have you gone mental?” Remus demanded once the girls were gone.

“Not cool, Sirius,” James shook his head. “Not cool.”

Sirius shrugged.

“She was being her obnoxious uptight self, it begged to be said,” he said loftily, ignoring the disapproving glares his friends sent him.

“She was clearly in a bad mood already,” Peter muttered, frowning at Sirius. “She barely touched her scrambled eggs. You should have let her be.”

Gwen Douglas got up, her schoolbag thwacking Sirius on the shoulder as she walked past him.

“What a cow,” Sirius grumbled, rubbing his shoulder.

“No,” James said, his jaw set, his hazel eyes furious. “You’re the one who’s being a tosser, Sirius. Lay off Evans, you hear me? The next time, just come and punch me in the face. After all it’s me you’re really mad at, not Evans.”

James got up.

“Prongs, you didn’t even finish your breakfast,” Peter called after his retreating back, in vain.

“Everyone’s in a mood today it seems,” Sirius snorted.

“That’s rich, when you just took your own anger out on someone who has nothing to do with your issues,” Remus said, his voice perfectly even.

The long look he was levelling at Sirius was too much; Sirius hung his head, glowered at his plate.

Fine, perhaps Evans hadn’t deserved that – but with everyone taking her side, Sirius sure as hell wasn’t going to apologise.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily was having a hard time concentrating on Professor Quirke’s lecture. Usually, she hung on to her every word with fascination, but today she was just too pissed off. The incident from earlier at breakfast hadn’t been the first time Sirius Black had behaved like an utter arse or said something offensive to her – they’d never really got along.

Normally, Lily was the bigger person and let his comments slide. On occasion, if he did manage to tempt her temper, she’d serve a sharp remark right back at him – but today, she had already been feeling crappy enough without being insulted to her face on top of everything else.

Perhaps, if it hadn’t been that time of the month, it would’ve been easier for her to rein in her temper. But the situation was what it was; the damage was done, and Lily was fuming.

Her friends might have hurried her off at breakfast, but she would show Sirius Black.

This time, he would pay.

In the end, the opportunity to exact her revenge all but fell into Lily’s lap.

“All right, class,” Professor Quirke called. “This is all of the theory for today, please read the next chapter of your book for the next lesson. Now, I need you to pair up so you can get some more sparring practice. Hurry up, please!”

Lily didn’t spare a glance at her friends, her green eyes flashed as her gaze locked on Black. Remus had gone to pair with Mary, Potter and Pettigrew had turned their backs to Black in unison. He was looking none too happy, standing there, so obviously snubbed by his friends. The pairs were rapidly forming around them, and poor Black was all alone.

But not for long.

Lily smiled – a wide, self-satisfied smirk that promised pain – and stalked over to him.

Sirius Black met her eyes with almost a flinch. He didn’t look half so cocksure now, with Lily’s wand levelly pointed at him.

Perhaps Black thought her a swot, a teacher’s pet easily dismissed – but going by his pinched expression he was finally realising that Lily received the teachers’ praise for a reason. She was very good with her spell work, had already mastered Non-Verbal spells, and had a vast repertoire of curses and jinxes to choose from. And she had just been given permission to practice curses on him.

Swot or not, Lily was far from harmless – and having pushed her too far, it was time for Black to suffer the consequences.

This seemed to dawn on him as well; Lily noticed the nervous bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. Lily grinned wider. It was time to serve him a little reminder of why it was a bad idea to piss her off.

Concentrating on a hex, she flicked her wand.

Black reacted seemingly out of pure instinct.

“Protego!”

Her hex bounded harmlessly off his shield, but she was already thinking of the next one, moving slowly to find a gap in his defence.

“Mr Black, Non-Verbal spells only, if you please!” Professor Quirke reminded sharply, her words falling to deaf ears.

Lily tried a jinx next, but Black managed to keep his shield up.

They were circling each other now, their gazes locked, neither fully aware of their surroundings; of how other students in the class were stopping their own practice and turning to gape at the two of them.

Black cursed colourfully under his breath, he’d had enough of being on the defensive. With a ringing shout he fired a hex at Lily but she flicked it aside, quickly countering with a tickling jinx. Black doubled over from laughter and could do nothing to evade the bat-bogey hex that followed and hit him square in the face.

“Miss Evans!” Professor Quirke protested.

But Lily was way too giddy to hear the warning. She was already aiming another hex at Sirius who groaned as the boils started to grow on his hands. It was almost a pity, really, it was all too easy; the tickling jinx still had Black roaring in laughter, making it impossible for him to concentrate enough to put up any sort of defence.

He was a sitting duck and Lily had already decided what her next spell was going to be. She raised her wand.

“Finite Incantem!” Quirke’s steely voice cut through the commotion of the classroom like a whip.

Lily lowered her wand.

Black took a deep breath as the hexes and jinxes were lifted, but he still crouched on the floor.

Lily stared down at him, looking rather smug. This was a lesson Black was not going to forget any time soon.

Professor Quirke levelled a stern glare at them, and for a brief moment Lily felt guilty and ashamed for causing such a commotion – even if her revenge had been fully justified.

“That’s quite enough from you two, thank you very much!” Professor Quirke snapped. “Detention, Mr Black!”

“Ha!” Lily snorted, feeling immediately better.

Her victory was complete.

But then Professor Quirke continued.

“You too, Miss Evans!”

Her jaw dropped, her cheeks flushed with humiliation. “But –” she tried feebly, but Professor Quirke was having none of it.

“You heard me,” Quirke cut in. “You will both meet me in the Trophy room at Friday night, 6 PM sharp.”

Sirius slowly got up from the floor, dusted his robes.

Lily glared at him in silent accusation. What a pretty mess this was, detention! Though that disappointed look from Professor Quirke, whom Lily admired so much, was even harder to stomach.

It took all her restraint to turn and walk away from Black.

And she thought she had been furious with him before.

 

* * *

 

 

Time seemed to move sluggishly, and yet the next days were a miserable blur. At least Lily’s cramps had finally subsided when the dreaded Friday evening finally arrived. Some silver lining to this utter humiliation.

She stood rigidly in the Trophy room, ignoring Black who stood beside her.

Professor Quirke stared at them, her arms folded over her chest.

“I will give you two hours to clean this room. And I expect you to behave yourselves. I will have no more quarrelling from you two, am I clear?”

“Yes, professor,” Lily said quickly.

“Crystal,” Black mumbled.

“And of course, you’re not allowed to use magic to aid you in your task. Please hand me your wands.”

They hesitated only for a moment, then reluctantly gave their wands to Professor Quirke, who stuffed them into her wide sleeve.

“I will see you in two hours.”

She gave them a brisk nod, and left the room.

Lily looked down at the bucket of soapy water and swallowed a sigh. As far as detentions went, this wasn’t too bad. Cleaning things up the Muggle way wasn’t much of a punishment. The humiliation of having a permanent mark on her record as a Prefect, though…

Lily grimaced. She hoped that Professor Quirke’s disappointment in her wouldn’t be permanent as well.

Still ignoring Black, Lily picked up her bucket and retreated into a corner, as far from him as she could manage.

Honestly, the Trophy room didn’t seem all that dirty – the house-elves were as efficient as they were meticulous. Of course, Professor Quirke must have told them to stay out of there for a while, but there was only so much dust that had managed to accumulate in the span of a few days.

That was all well and good, dusting had never been one of Lily’s favourite pastimes.

She wrung excess water out of the cleaning rag and got to work.

Icy silence hung heavy in the room. Neither of them had anything to say to the other, neither of them felt comfortable in each other’s company.

Lily’s shoulders were tense, muscles taut and she threw herself into the task at hand so she had no attention to spare to the discomfort of their circumstances.

It was menial work, but she scrubbed furiously at the trophy cabinets, before moving on to polishing the trophies themselves. Eventually, she relaxed – enough to break the silence.

She berated herself under her breath as she went through the trophies.

“So stupid… Too rash… All that effort gone in a second,” Lily grumbled as she attacked a particularly stubborn stain.

A loud snort from behind her cut into her pity party. Lily turned, her narrowed green eyes meeting Sirius Black’s glare.

”It must really be eating at you,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “to have a big fat stain on your perfect record.”

Lily’s fingers twitched, and her thoughts ground to a halt. She stared at Black in incredulous indignation.

“My what?”

“You heard me,” Black sneered.

Lily shook her head. Yes, her ears worked fine, though her brain was still struggling to comprehend what she had heard. Her sullen anger was gone, replaced by confusion – and curiosity.

She gave him a long stare, before finally asking: “Do… do you think this is my first detention ever?”

“A goody two-shoes like you would never dare to get in trouble,” Black retorted with a casual shrug.

“Wow,” Lily breathed. “Either you’re really stupid or you just pay no attention to what happens beyond your little bubble.”

Black’s eyes narrowed. He threw his cleaning rag down; it met the stone floor with a wet splat.

“What’re you on about, Evans?”

“Just saying that you’re wrong. I’ve actually had detention before, several times.”

“Really?” Black rolled his eyes. “For what?”

“Getting even with you lot for all the pranks you pulled on me in second year. Getting caught out and about after curfew. Hexing Valerie Travers –”

“You hexed Valerie Travers?”

“Yeah, in fourth year. She was being very vocal about Muggleborns’ limited magical abilities, so I decided to give her a taste.”

Sirius stared at her for a moment in absolute silence, then a short bark of laughter escaped him.

“How come I never heard about this before?”

“Probably because you don’t pay enough attention,” Lily said pointedly. “And anyway unlike some people, I don’t feel the need to brag about my detentions. Besides, I cleaned up my act in fifth year and have been keeping a clean streak – until now.”

“Why?” Black’s eyebrow arched. “You seem to have the makings of a troublemaker, you should embrace it.”

Lily raised her eyebrow right back at him. “Because I was made a prefect. I thought it would be hypocritical to enforce the rules on everyone and then go about breaking them myself.”

Black mulled over this for a moment. His grey eyes regarded her, assessing, curious.

“Well, you have a point there,” he finally admitted. “It never stopped Remus, though.”

“I don’t think Remus feels exactly proud of misbehaving,” Lily said.

Sirius frowned thoughtfully.

“Well he does get a guilty expression rather often.”

“Well there you go then.” The corners of Lily’s lips were twitching.

“It’s still a shame, though,” Sirius insisted.

“Perhaps. But I want to be Head Girl, so I need to stay out of trouble.”

Black snorted. “Seriously?”

“Yes. Go on then, mock me for the swot you think I am,” Lily replied, her voice a shade cooler.

“Even if you did get in trouble, I bet you’d still make Head Girl,” Black said. “Honestly, who else would they pick?”

Lily blinked. The compliment caught her off guard. She wasn’t nearly so sure about her chances to gain the position she had secretly coveted for so long. But hearing Black declare with full confidence that she would make it was oddly comforting.

“Thank you,” she said.

He shot her a long look. “I still can’t picture you misbehaving.”

Lily stared right back him, then her green eyes twinkled with mischief.

“Remember when you got triple detention in third year?”

“I remember all my detentions,” Black told her with a cocky grin. “Are we talking about the time I spiked the teachers’ pumpkin juice with the Babbling Potion? Or loosing the pixies in the library?”

“I was referring to the suits of armour, actually. Charming them to tickle any passers-by?”

Black’s eyes lit with reminiscence. “Ah, that one! Professor Flitwick got trapped under one for half an hour before McGonagall rescued him.” He laughed. “That was a brilliant prank. I happily took the credit and the detention. Wasn’t actually my doing, though.”

“No,” Lily agreed. “It sure wasn’t.”

Black’s eyes narrowed. “Evans! Don’t tell me…”

Lily grinned.“That’s right. I was also the one who told McGonagall that it was you.”

“Blimey! And I always thought it was Remus though he never fessed up.” Black blinked, then roared in laughter. “You made a brilliant prank and set me up for it? Lily Evans, you shock me!”

“Still think I’m a goody two-shoes with my wand up my arse?” Lily crossed her arms.

“I’m starting to think that I don’t really know you at all.”

“Then I suppose there is finally something we can agree on, Black.”

He studied her, his grey eyes thoughtful.

“You know what, Evans?”

“Enlighten me.”

“Maybe I should.”

 

 


	16. Changes

 

The group of sixth year students walked up to the Gryffindor tower after breakfast and found the Common Room crowded, as it always was on a Saturday.

They managed to find a sofa – Marlene may have told the two fourth years previously occupying it to scatter – and crammed themselves on the poor piece of furniture, Peter and Remus obligingly taking seats on the floor. They looked across the Common Room, where two of their friends were sitting at a desk by the window and talking. As the six of them surveyed the unlikely scene, their expressions varied from fascination and confusion to outright disgust.

Marlene was the first one to break the stunned silence.

“What the hell happened?”

“The detention happened,” Mary replied with a small shrug.

“Yeah but what the hell happened at the detention?” Gwen waved her hand towards the unlikely pair in an impatient gesture. “One moment they’re at each other’s throats and now they’re mates?”

Remus shook his head. “All I know is that Sirius came back last night and was his usual charming self,” he muttered.

“Yeah,” Peter piped up. “He was all ‘why did you never tell me Evans was all right?’”

Marlene snorted. “Really? I mean that sounds like Black, but what changed his mind about Lily?”

“What did you say to him?” Mary asked Remus and Peter.

“I told him I’d been telling him that for the past six years,” Remus said, his voice wry.

“It’s not fair,” James grumbled. “Here I’ve been walking on eggshells around Evans all autumn with nothing to show for it, but after one detention she’s all chummy with Sirius?”

“That’s hardly true, James,” Mary said, frowning a little.

“Yeah. Lily let you be the third wheel on her date with the Head Boy, for Merlin’s sake. You’re doing loads better than you were last year,” Gwen pointed out.

Peter’s jaw dropped. “You crashed Lily’s date?” he squeaked. “I thought you were giving up on her.”

“I am,” James snapped. “I’m dating Dana, remember?”

“Still, it’s just too weird,” Gwen insisted, returning to their original topic. “How did those two become friends overnight?”

“Maybe Lily used one too many hexes on Sirius and now his brain is all addled?” Marlene suggested.

Peter let out a nervous giggle. “She really didn’t hold back, did she?”

“Someone could’ve slipped them a potion,” Remus said.

“Professor Quirke could’ve told them to get along as extra punishment,” James offered.

Just then, Lily and Sirius burst into laughter.

“Doesn’t look much of a punishment,” Gwen observed.

“They seem to be having fun,” Mary agreed softly.

Peter gawked at the mismatched pair. “I suppose we should be glad they’re not fighting anymore but…”

“It’s just so –”

“It’s too –”

“Weird,” James and Marlene chorused.

“Yeah,” Remus agreed.

“Exactly.” Gwen sighed.

Mary bit her lip, glancing back from Lily and Sirius to regard her friends. “Do you think it’ll last?”

“Ehh…”

“Maybe?”

“I have no clue.”

“Hell no.”

“I’ll give them a week.”

They fell silent, and continued to stare at their two friends talking very animatedly on the other side of the Common Room in a sort of a horror-laced fascination.

 

* * *

 

 

The temperatures had grown colder over the weekend. The castle was downright chilly, especially in the mornings and Lily fished out her thicker jumpers from her trunk to wear under her robes.

When Lily and her friends made their trek to the greenhouses for their Monday morning Herbology lesson, they exclaimed in delight at the white ground – though the excitement ended the moment Sirius Black threw the first snowball.

There was no time for frolicking, though; the whole week seemed to pass in a blur as schoolwork piled up.

Wednesday marked the beginning of December, which was another cause for excitement for the students. Mary had started humming Christmas songs and – oddly enough – so had Sirius. Peter and Marlene on the other hand were counting the hours until Christmas break.

For teachers, however, the start of the last month of the year was a wake-up call to the fact that the term would be ending in just a few short weeks, and unlike the students, seemed to feel this was the perfect opportunity to pick up the pace for one last push.

So Lily and her friends spent much of the week buried in school work and stressing over their many assignments. On top of everything, Lily still had her prefect duties, and wound up helping to decorate the castle for Christmas. She did get a date for her trouble though; Connor had also been giving a hand with the decorations and had reminded her that next week they’d have their last Hogsmeade weekend, so they made plans to meet up at The Three Broomsticks.

Some of Lily’s scarce spare time also went to helping Peter with Charms. And now that she and Sirius had finally befriended one another, she’d quickly become his chief informant of all things Muggle. 

Sirius had told Lily that he had first decided to take Muggle Studies because it was the one subject that would piss off his parents the most (and also because Potter had chosen it), but had since genuinely become fascinated with Muggle culture and was continuing the classes even after his O.W.L.s.

It was interesting, really; for the longest time Lily had honestly believed she didn’t have anything in common with Sirius Black, but that had proven to be as false as his assumptions that she was a good little rule-abiding witch. They’d both been equally guilty of judging the book by its cover. 

 

* * *

 

 

The Fat Lady hadn’t taken too kindly to being woken up hours before the dawn. James had not been in the mood for lectures but since a happy Fat Lady was a co-operative Fat Lady, he had stopped to listen to the portrait’s shrill scolding while Peter, still in his Animagus form, and Sirius, hidden under the Invisibility Cloak, had slipped into the Common Room.

Finally, after the Fat Lady had finished her lecture, James stumbled through the portrait hole, bumping his glasses up so he could rub his eyes. With a sigh, he crossed the Common Room and started up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories.

When James crept into their dorm room, the curtains around Sirius’ bed were closed and Peter was already snoring. He collapsed onto his bed, thoroughly exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but didn’t feel the least bit sleepy. He stared up at the canopy of his bed, his mind whirring with thoughts, replaying the night he’d had.

Once again, James had faced the full moon with mixed feelings. On one hand, he was relieved that his quarrel with Sirius had resolved itself. Sirius had made no further comments about James brushing his mates aside – and this was in spite of the fact that he had not spent much time with his friends the past week outside of lessons and mealtimes and sleeping in the dorm. Time was a precious commodity, when he had to juggle lessons, schoolwork, Quidditch, and the few sparse stolen moments with Dana.

On the other hand… Much as James was grateful that Sirius had recently cheered up, he couldn’t help feeling irritated about what he considered to be primary reason behind Sirius’ sudden mood swing: Lily Evans.

Despite years of mutual dislike, after a single night spent at a detention together, Lily Evans and Sirius Black were suddenly friends. James supposed he should be happy they were finally getting along – Marlene had joked just the other day that if that had been all it took, they should’ve stuck them in detention ages ago. And James had certainly benefitted from the sudden friendship, he was seeing more of Evans these days. It was like Sirius’ and Lily’s friendship had removed a barrier none of them had even known had existed, and now the two groups of sixth years were slowly starting to meld together; the boys and girls sat together more often in the Common Room, in lessons, and during meals in the Great Hall.

Maybe James might have even gained hope from the development – after all, Sirius had been a much bigger prat to Lily than James had ever been so there was no reason why he, too, couldn’t grow close with Lily.

But it just felt so unfair that despite all his attempts to make friends with her, Sirius had got there first – and virtually overnight.

James glared at the dark canopy looming above him and pulled at his hair in frustration.

Also, it was petty of him to be dwelling on such things after the night they’d had. James’ stomach gave a little lurch when he thought of Remus, alone, waiting in the derelict gloom of the Shrieking Shack for Madam Pomfrey to come and escort him back to the Hospital Wing.

Now that was unfair. James grimaced.

The night itself had been thankfully uneventful. They had stayed on Hogwarts’ grounds, explored and played tag in the Forbidden Forest. As the start of December had finally brought snow, they didn’t want to leave too many tracks where they might be visible – a stag in the company of a dog and (were)wolf was hardly inconspicuous, after all. The suspicious glint he sometimes caught in Professor McGonagall’s eyes was bad enough.

But at least there was something to be grateful for; they had got through another full moon without an incident. And the next one wouldn’t be until after the Christmas break, in early January.

James flopped onto his side and pulled off his glasses. He set them on the bedside table, stared out into the dark and blurry dorm room. He sighed and tugged at his pillow, trying his best to shut down his brain so he could rest.

It was still dark when James gave up on sleeping and got up. Listening to Peter’s soft snores, he put on his glasses, changed into clean robes, picked up his wand and stuffed the Invisibility Cloak into his pocket. He stopped by the bathroom to splash his face with cold water – not that it did anything to energise him.

He tiptoed out of the dormitory and down the spiral staircase into the Common Room. He stopped at the foot of the stairs to stretch and crack a yawn.

“I feel I should cast a fire spell just in case you’re Inferi,” a voice spoke somewhere to his right and James jumped. He whipped around.

Lily Evans sat at a table, two books propped open before her, her wand tucked behind her ear as she worked.

“Evans! You’re up early.”

Her eyebrow was arched, her quill paused over her slip of parchment as she gave him a quick once over.

“Way too early,” she grumbled. “But at least I don’t look like something my cat could’ve dragged in.”

James sank into the chair next to hers, as Evans turned back to her books and writing.

“Didn’t get much sleep,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “Pretty sure I didn’t get any, actually.”

“Hope tomorrow night will be better for you then,” she murmured distractedly, scribbling away on her parchment. “If not, let me know. I can hook you up with a sleeping potion.”

James rested his elbows on the table. “I see Sirius is already a bad influence on you.”

Evans snorted. “Trust me, Potter, my secret potion stash predates my friendship with Sirius.” She finished a sentence with a flourish, then shrugged. “I have sleeping trouble sometimes, too. Last year was especially bad. All that stress from the O.W.L.s.”

“Last year was nothing compared to this year,” James said, slumping in his seat. “There’s so much schoolwork.”

“Tell me about it,” Evans replied dryly, flicking her quill pointedly at her unfinished assignment. “Couldn’t be arsed to do the rune translation last night so here I am.”

“Pity it isn’t a subject I could’ve helped you with,” James said, and promptly yawned again.

The corner of Evans’ lips twitched. “No offense, Potter, but I don’t really trust your brain is working anywhere near full capacity at the moment.”

“None taken. I’m absolutely knackered.”

Lily was bent over her parchment, writing another few words down. “Well, I’m sure you’ll manage to get through today’s lessons somehow.”

“You could punch my arm or something if I start to nod off.” James grinned.

She looked up, met his gaze. His breath caught a little, seeing her green eyes light up with mischief and her lips quirk into a smile.

“Why, Potter – if you’re giving me permission to sock you, how could I refuse?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The faint fluttery sound of wings preceded the owls swooping down into the Great Hall to deliver the post on Wednesday morning. Lily was still a little groggy; she stared fixedly at her bowl of porridge and then broke into a yawn. She didn’t notice the murmurs spreading across the four tables. It was only Marlene’s sudden and rather crude cursing that caught her attention.

Lily looked up. Mary seemed as puzzled as Lily. Marlene’s face was obscured by the copy of Daily Prophet that had just been delivered to her, but she was clutching the paper so hard that her knuckles were white. Gwen and Betty, sitting on either side of Marlene, leaned in to read the news. Their faces grew grim the moment they glimpsed the front page.

“What is it?” Lily asked, though she was afraid she already knew the answer. Only one thing could bring on such stony silence to the head table where the teachers sat, and make the students burst into agitated whispers. The many faces in the Great Hall that looked pale and afraid were definitely a clue.

“Death Eaters,” Marlene spat. “Last night, near Salisbury.”

“No,” Mary said in a horrified whisper, and grasped Lily’s arm.

Gwen gave them a jerky nod. “Three people dead,” she added in a subdued voice.

“A family,” Betty said, her hands trembling and her voice full of disbelief. “They killed a family.”

A lone tear rolled down Mary’s cheek as a choked sob tore from her lips.

Lily wound her arm around Mary’s shoulders and hugged her to her side.

Something cold and sharp stirred in the pit of her stomach; something that was part fear, part outrage.

A hand brushed against the small of Lily’s back, warm and soothing. She looked up, meeting Sirius’ grey eyes. They were as cold as ice.

On his other side, Potter sat staring at his copy of the Daily Prophet, his shoulders slumped. All signs of his usual good humour were gone, and for some reason, that worried Lily more than Betty’s shock or Mary’s tears; than Sirius’ silent fury or the naked fear in Peter Pettigrew’s eyes.

Potter shook his head as if to regain his senses. Then he crumpled up the newspaper. He met Lily’s and Sirius’ gazes as Remus picked the discarded paper to read the article himself.

“Seven,” Potter said tonelessly. “The kid was only seven.”

The coldness spread and clenched Lily’s heart. She looked around at her friends as they sat in heavy silence, their breakfast forgotten, food remaining untouched on their plates.

Then, as if compelled, Lily looked across the room. She studied the Slytherin table, and for the briefest moment, she caught Severus’ dark stare. She met his eyes with silent accusation, before turning back to her friends.

Lily hugged Mary closer and leaned against Sirius’ shoulder, and wondered how some people could be so cruel.

 

* * *

 

 

For the rest of that Wednesday, the mood around Hogwarts was grim and subdued. The students were silent and huddled in the halls. The war and last night’s horrific incident were the topics of the day, and the students spoke of little else.

But they were young and safe inside the walls of Hogwarts; life won over quickly. Already the next day, laughter was returning to the halls of the castle, and cheery chatter picked up in classrooms.

Lily and her friends also pushed aside the horror of Death Eaters and war, and moved on to more cheerful subjects – such as Gwen’s rapidly nearing birthday.

The girls were gathered in their dormitory on Thursday evening, having a discussion while Gwen was out at a Quidditch practice.

Mary was the one who first broached the topic.

“What should we do for Gwen’s birthday?” She asked, wringing her hands. “We only have a few days left.”

“Shit, I totally forgot,” Marlene groaned. “I was just looking forward to the Hogsmeade visit.”

“I don’t think we should throw a party,” Lily said. “It’s Sunday after all.”

Mary nodded in agreement. “We should do something special. Since she’s turning seventeen.”

“You only come of age once,” Marlene agreed. “…I have no clue what we should do, though.”

“With the Hogsmeade visit on Saturday we won’t have much time to plan or set up,” Lily pointed out, cuddling Augustus in her lap.

“We should do something Gwen enjoys,” Mary said.

A silence fell, filled by Augustus’ purrs and the crinkle of paper from Betty’s four poster bed, where she was lounging and leafing through a magazine.

“So… What does Gwen like?” Lily asked.

“Oh come on,” Betty giggled from her bed, taking part in the discussion for the first time. “Even I know the answer to that one: Quidditch.”

“That’s true,” Mary said.

“Yeah she is bonkers about Quidditch.” Marlene frowned. “But it’s not like we can take her to a game on Sunday.”

“Maybe we can,” Lily said slowly.

“It’s December,” Marlene reminded them. “The season is over.”

“And we’re not allowed to leave the grounds,” Mary added.

“And that, yeah, sure,” Marlene muttered.

“No,” Lily said. “I mean we could have a game of our own.”

Mary blinked. “We?”

“Hold on,” Marlene said. “I love Quidditch as much as the next witch, but I’m not going to freeze my arse flying around in mid-December!”

“Not even after considering how much it would mean to Gwen if we were to play a game of Quidditch with her?” Lily arched her eyebrow. Augustus grew tired of the attention, wiggled free from her arms, and vanished under the bed.

Marlene made a face. “Well, when you put it like that…”

“Count me out,” Betty piped up. “I’m terrible on a broomstick.”

“Won’t be much of a game with just the four of us,” Mary said, sighing a little.

“Maybe we can make it into a four versus four game?” Marlene suggested. “A keeper and three chasers. That should be fine, right? Since Gwen’s a chaser.”

Lily nodded. “Yeah, that’ll work. We’ll just need to find four opponents somewhere.”

“Just ask the boys,” Betty said with a shrug, still focused on her magazine.

“Oh, brilliant! We should do that!” Marlene beamed.

“I’m sure James would help,” Mary agreed. “He could book us the Pitch for Sunday, too.”

“Sirius will be all over a four versus four Quidditch game,” Lily mused. “Once Potter and Sirius are in, Peter’s in. And I’m sure we can talk Remus into it.”

“Great! It’s settled then,” Marlene declared, just as the door of the dormitory cracked open.

Gwen stepped in, her cheeks glowing after spending the evening out in the cold air. “What’s settled?” she asked, crossing the room to her bed.

“Hogsmeade,” Lily lied quickly.

Mary smiled, keeping her mouth shut.

 “We all agreed to meet in the Three Broomsticks at 1.30. You in, or are you too busy with Craig?” Marlene wiggled her eyebrows.

“No busier than you’ll be with Benny,” Gwen shot back. “I’m in.”

“Splendid. Did James come in already?” Marlene asked.

“Yeah he’s down in the Common Room,” Gwen replied. “Why?”

“Oh, Lily needed to ask him something.” Marlene slanted Lily a meaningful look, while she glared back at Marlene.

“Yeah,” Lily said, trying for a light and casual tone of voice. “I was wondering if I should get Sirius a Christmas present or not.”

“So you’re going to snoop from James to see if Black’s planning to get you anything? Smart.”

“Thanks Gwen. Anyway, got to run.” Lily shot up from her bed and left the dormitory.

She sighed in relief once out on the staircase – though she was a better liar than Mary, deceit, especially towards a friend, made her uncomfortable.

Down in the Common Room, she spotted Potter almost immediately. She walked over to the corner where he was sitting with Peter Pettigrew.

Potter saw her approach and perked up, an easy grin rising to his lips.

“Evans! How nice of you to join us.”

“Hullo,” Peter offered with a friendly smile.

“Hey. Um. So…” Lily fidgeted a little, and swallowed some of her pride. This was for Gwen after all. “Potter, I – we – need a favour.”

Potter blinked. His eyebrows shot up. “Sorry? We who?”

“Marlene and Mary and me. We were talking about what we should do on Sunday. For Gwen’s birthday, you know.”

“Oh right.” Potter nodded. “She’s turning seventeen, isn’t she?”

“Will there be a party?” Peter asked, leaning forward in his seat.

“No, we wanted to do something different.” Lily took a breath and steeled herself. “We thought we’d put together a Quidditch game.”

“I’m sure Gwen will love that.” Potter smiled.

“Sounds like a lot of work,” Peter commented.

Lily ploughed ahead. “So we were wondering, since you’re the Captain for Gryffindor, Potter, if you could reserve the Pitch for us on Sunday?”

“Sure. Happy to help.”

“Also…” Lily looked from Potter to Peter. “We thought it would be a four versus four game. Just the keepers and the chasers –”

“Wait!” Potter’s eyes crinkled with laughter. “Four people teams? Don’t tell me you’re playing, Evans.”

Lily stiffened. “Yes, Mary, Marlene, Gwen and me would make one of the teams.”

“Evans on a broomstick! I’ve got to see this. Can I come and watch?”

Lily wasn’t sure she liked the look of Potter’s grin, but she gritted her teeth.

“We’d like you to come and play, actually,” she replied. “You could be on the other team, with Remus, Sirius and Peter.”

“Yes,” Potter replied in a heartbeat. “We’ll definitely be there, I’ll go and book the Pitch right now.”

He bounded out of his seat and left the Common Room in a rush, leaving Peter and Lily to stare after him.

“Glad he’s excited,” Lily muttered to herself, then snuck a glance at Peter. “Um, you don’t mind, do you? Playing on Sunday?”

“No! I mean, I’m not any good…”

“Well neither am I,” Lily reassured him with a wry smile.

“But it sounds like fun.”

“Thanks, Peter.”

“Anytime!”

He beamed at her, and Lily felt marginally better about the upcoming chaos.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Saturday dawned, cold and clear. Lily tugged at her muffler and as the winter air nipped at her ears, wished she had worn a hat instead of succumbing to the vanity of wanting her hair to look nice.

Snow crunched under her feet as she walked beside Connor towards Hogsmeade.

Their earlier conversation about lessons and schoolwork had lapsed into silence.

It wasn’t awkward, per se, but Lily was definitely feeling self-conscious. Because they had both been pretty busy lately, she hadn’t had many opportunities to see Connor. It had been a while since they had last spent time together, just the two of them.

“We only have a week left, huh?” Lily said to break the silence and to quiet the nervous fluttering in her stomach.

“Yes. Scary how quickly autumn went,” Connor replied.

“Yeah. The whole term just flew by,” Lily agreed.

“I feel like the older we get the faster the time seems to slip by,” Connor said, smiling a little.

“It must feel weird for you,” Lily said, casting a quick side-glance at him. “To only have half a year left at Hogwarts.”

“It is weird… and scary and exciting all at once,” Connor admitted. “But mostly it just feels surreal.”

“Yeah, I bet,” Lily replied.

Surreal, that was the perfect word to describe how she’d felt on Wednesday…

“What is it?”

“Huh?” Lily asked.

“You’re frowning,” Connor pointed out, his tone gentle.

“Oh. Umm…” Lily hesitated, but the honest curiosity in Connor’s eyes encouraged her to speak. “I was just reminded about the Death Eater attack. That felt so surreal.”

“It was a terrible thing,” Connor said. “I can almost understand when they go after the people in the ministry. There has been a clear political agenda in the selection of their prior victims. But killing an entire family?” Connor shook his head, scowling.

“I suppose that’s why it felt like such a shock. Killing an innocent child just because they can? It’s really feeling like war now.” Lily hugged herself.

Connor nodded. “It’s like their objective has shifted. They’re trying to stoke fear now, they want everyone to be afraid of them.”

“We’re almost at Hogsmeade,” Lily said, suppressing a shiver. “Let’s talk about something nicer, eh?”

“A good idea.” Connor flashed her a smile. “Any plans for Christmas?”

“The usual.” Lily shrugged. “Spending time with my family. Having a nice Christmas dinner. After all the schoolwork I’m just looking forward to some peace and quiet, to be honest.”

Connor grinned. “Sounds good to me. I don’t have any special plans either. Though I was wondering…”

“Yes?”

“I’d like to write to you during the Christmas break. Would that be all right?”

“You’re my boyfriend, of course it’s all right,” Lily said.

“Just wanted to make sure the owls swooping in and out wouldn’t bother your neighbourhood.”

“I think my neighbours are used to the odd owl by now,” Lily replied.

They looked at each other and shared a smile.

The cosy moment was shattered by a loud shout.

“Oi, Evans!”

Lily and Connor turned. James Potter was jogging up to them, while Dana Watson stood back and smiled indulgently.

“All’s set for tomorrow,” Potter told Lily, showing a thumbs-up.

“Okay, thanks,” Lily replied.

“Looking forward to it.” Potter grinned, then returned to Dana and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“What was that about?” Connor asked, giving Lily a curious glance.

“Potter is helping out with setting up for Gwen’s birthday tomorrow,” Lily replied.

“Big party?” Connor guessed.

“No, it’s, um, four versus four Quidditch game.”

“Really? Who’s playing?”

“Well Potter and his gang make up one team, the other is Gwen, Mary, Marlene and me.”

“Wow. You’re going to play Quidditch?” Connor’s eyebrow arched.

Lily bit her lip and nodded.

Connor’s eyes lit up. “Can I come and watch?”

“Why does everyone want to see me humiliate myself?” Lily grumbled.

Connor chuckled, a warm and sweet sound that almost eased off Lily’s frown – though it was the kiss he planted on her creased brow a moment later that turned that pout into a smile.


	17. End of Term

Saturday after dinner, the Gryffindor Common Room was full, the students all in good cheer. Lily smiled and nodded at greetings tossed her way. She waved at her friends, gathered up around the fireplace. She shook her head at Sirius when he motioned for her to come over.

Instead, Lily slipped towards the spiral staircase and trudged up to her dormitory. She collapsed into her bed with a content sigh, earning a disgruntled meow from Augustus who’d been curled up on her pillow. Now he crept closer, whiskers tickling Lily’s temple as he bent in to sniff at her.

“Hey, you,” she greeted her cat, and scratched Augustus’ preferred spot right under his chin. “It’s been a long day.” 

Long but good, Lily decided, staring up at the canopy of her bed. Everything was ready for Gwen’s birthday tomorrow. Her date with Connor had gone well. She’d managed to get most of her Christmas shopping done – she still wasn’t sure if she should get something for Sirius but she’d figure it out later. He’d probably be happier with something Muggle anyway. She’d met her friends at the Three Broomsticks and they’d had lunch together. She’d restocked her sweets stash…

Lily rolled over to her stomach and reached toward her bedside table. She managed to open the drawer – just barely – and rummaged around blindly until her fingers found a crinkly wrapper. She pulled out a bag of chocolates and grinned.

She had chocolate, she had her cat purring right by her ear, and she could stay in bed all evening. Bliss.

Fun as it had been to escape Hogwarts for a bit and stroll around Hogsmeade and do some shopping, it had also left her exhausted. She’d scarcely had a moment to herself all day, so for tonight she’d go to bed early, set up with the chocolates and a good book to get some restful moments in.

Especially since tomorrow would be another action-packed day. Lily wasn’t a good flyer, but somehow she’d need to muster up enough skill to survive through a Quidditch match. It wasn’t the potential embarrassment that she was particularly worried about; the possible fall to the cold, hard ground if she were to slip off her broom was a much bigger concern.

She never had, of course, but the fear was still there, stubbornly lodged in the back of her brain.

Lily frowned at the canopy. She had nothing to be afraid of, really. Even if she were to fall off her broom she’d probably still live – she’d seen Potter survive worse in the Quidditch games he’d played throughout the years. They wouldn’t even have Bludgers tomorrow.

Lily popped a piece of chocolate into her mouth, closing her eyes to savour the treat. Then she climbed off her bed to fetch a book from her trunk. She changed into comfortable clothes and padded back to her bedside. Mindful of Augustus, she peeled off the bed cover and slipped into her bed, book and chocolates at hand.

She leaned into her pillow with a sigh and cast Augustus a fleeting glance.

This was it.

She wasn’t leaving the bed until morning.

 

* * *

 

 

The sixth year Gryffindor girls – minus Betty who’d sent them off with a cheerful wave – left the Great Hall after Sunday lunch. In the Entrance Hall, Marlene grinned and whipped out a blindfold.

Gwen’s eyebrows hiked up.

“First it was ‘dress warmly’, then it was ‘keep the lunch light’… Now you want to blindfold me?” She crossed her arms. “What’re you planning, exactly?”

“It won’t be a surprise if we tell you,” Mary said with a small smile.

Gwen shook her head. “Fine. Marlene, give the blindfold to Lily.”

“Why?” Marlene frowned.

“Because I trust her more than I trust you.”

Marlene rolled her eyes, but did as she was told.

Lily took the blindfold and tied it in place while Gwen stood still, her shoulders stiff and arms still folded over her chest.

“Now what?” Gwen asked, oblivious to Marlene’s wriggling fingers a few sparse inches from her face.

“Now we get going,” Marlene declared, and strode towards the front doors.

Lily and Mary flanked Gwen and grasped her arms so they could guide her steps, then followed Marlene out into the cold and grey December afternoon.

They carefully made their way across the grounds, keeping to the paths wherever they could.

“You’re handling the blindfold well,” Lily murmured, a smile tugging at her lips.

Mary nodded in agreement. “I would’ve tripped over my feet by now.”

Gwen hadn’t stumbled once – and now she grinned in response to her friends’ comments. “Guess all that Quidditch wasn’t for nothing.”

Ahead of them, Marlene snorted.

Lily and Mary glanced at each other, and Lily had to bite her lip when Mary let out a soft giggle.

Gwen’s steps faltered when they finally reached the Quidditch Pitch.

Lily, too, almost stopped to gawk.

It seemed that Potter had decided to really apply himself – and a whole host of heating charms. There was not a single speck of snow on the Quidditch Pitch even though it was mid-December in the Scottish Highlands.

The grass was wet and muddy and looked pretty miserable, but in case anyone fell off their broom, it would be a far softer landing than ground that would be frozen solid beneath a white blanket of deceivingly soft snow.

Lily caught Potter’s eye and raised her eyebrow, impressed.

Potter’s eyebrows arched in response above laughing hazel eyes.

A smile tugged the corner of Lily’s lips, and she and Mary steered Gwen across the Pitch, to where the boys were waiting.

Potter’s pose was relaxed, with his broom propped up against his shoulder and the Quaffle tucked under his arm. Sirius was grinning, holding two brooms. Peter looked nervous, Remus’ face had a pinched expression. Marlene joined the boys, smirking as she turned to face Gwen.

“We’re here,” Mary told Gwen. “Give us a sec.”

Gwen huffed. When Lily and Mary let go of her arms, she crossed them over her chest.

Mary and Lily walked over to their friends and picked up their brooms.

“Alright, you can take off the blindfold now,” Marlene announced.

Gwen didn’t bother fumbling with the knot – she yanked off the blindfold and then blinked.

And blinked some more.

“What…?”

“Happy birthday!” her friends’ chorused, all of them smiling now, some happy, some a little smug.

“I was expecting a party, and a cake and maybe a smuggled bottle of booze –“

“Sorry to disappoint,” Marlene said.

“You’re gonna have to play Quidditch with us instead,” Lily said.

Gwen beamed. She shook her head. “You guys are the best.”

“We know,” Sirius chimed in. “But it’s good you finally realised it, too.”

“Four versus four,” Potter announced. “Boys versus girls. Who’s gonna be your Keeper?”

The girls looked at one another.

“I can do it,” Mary volunteered. “I’m probably not great at it, but I think it’d be easier than being a Chaser…”

“You’ll be fine.” Marlene patted Mary’s shoulder.

“You guys ready?” Gwen asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Lily muttered.

Sirius tossed Gwen her broom.

“Captains, shake hands,” Sirius announced.

Potter and Gwen stepped forward, clasping each other’s hands while wearing almost identical grins.

“Since we don’t have a referee to toss the Quaffle into the game,” Remus drawled, “we should probably just do a rock-paper-scissors to determine which team will get it.”

“Works for me,” Marlene said. She nudged Gwen’s shoulder. “You go, captain.”

After two draws, Potter’s paper fell to Gwen’s scissors, and he tossed the Quaffle over to the girls.

“All right?” he called as he mounted his broom.

“Let’s go,” Gwen replied and pushed into the air.

 

* * *

 

 

It took Lily scarcely five minutes to decide this had been a terrible idea. Her arse felt frozen solid, the ground was very, very far below, and her shoulder was still aching from Sirius’ overly enthusiastic tackle from earlier. But at least Gwen seemed to be having fun; she was a dark-haired blur as she sped towards the goal posts, dodging both Remus and Potter. Peter was trembling a little as he hovered in front of the goal posts, but he lunged right, falling for Gwen’s feint. The Quaffle soared through the central goal post, and Sirius dove after it while Gwen whooped and Marlene clapped her hands.

Lily gripped her broom tighter. Maybe if she kept moving, she’d start feeling warmer. She steered her broom towards Sirius, gaining some speed as she flew to interrupt his advance. Sirius saw her coming, and passed the Quaffle to Remus, who bit out a swear word but caught it anyway.

All the better for Lily, since Remus was almost as comfortable on a broomstick as she was. She squared her shoulders and raced straight towards Remus in the classic game of chicken. Remus yelped as Lily took a sharp left at the very last minute, the tail of her broom almost smacking Remus’ arm. Remus dropped the Quaffle – right into Marlene’s open arms where she waited down below. Marlene whirled around and zoomed right back towards Peter, with Sirius breathing down her neck.

Remus threw a rude gesture Lily’s way, but Potter laughed.

“A little unrefined there, Evans,” he called to her, hazel eyes twinkling, “but what works, works.”

Lily grinned back.

“This is Quidditch, Prongs, not a bloody picnic,” Remus grumbled, flying a circle around them. “Stop chatting and get to the game!”

Potter laughed again, and with a blinding speed crossed half the Pitch, to the boys’ goal posts where Marlene had just fumbled her throw and Peter had caught the Quaffle. He tossed it to Potter who caught it with ease and started towards the girls’ goal posts.

And so it went, on and on; chasing the Quaffle, trying to intercept passes, attempted tackles and swerving to avoid collisions. Fumbling to catch the red ball, flying through the frozen air and the laughter mixing with their misted breaths. To Lily, the fast-paced game became a blur… and in the end, despite her aching muscles and frozen toes and fingers, she had to concede that she’d been wrong.

Quidditch wasn’t that bad after all.

Lily landed on the muddy grass surrounded by her friends, her knees almost buckling from the relief of being back on solid ground again. She propped up her broom and leaned against it, catching her breath. 

Then Gwen was there, pulling her into a tight warm hug. She was beaming, and she hugged each of them in turn.

“You guys, this was the best. Thank you.”

“Even though you lost?” Sirius quipped.

Marlene elbowed him in the ribs. “Only by a point. We put up a real fight.”

“You sure did,” Remus groused, nursing a bruise on his cheek.

Mary smiled. “It was a good game.”

“We know how to throw a party,” Potter replied.

“Though this was our idea,” Marlene muttered under her breath.

Potter gathered Marlene’s broom, then walked over to Lily and held out his hand.

“I’ll take that back to the shed for you.”

Lily handed him the borrowed school broom. “Thanks, Potter. For everything.”

“Don’t mention it, Evans. Also, I have to say I was impressed.”

“Me too,” Sirius chimed in. “Didn’t know you had it in you to play dirty.”

Gwen’s lips twitched. “Lily can get… competitive.”

“My kind of girl.” Sirius grinned.

“Anytime you want to play Quidditch, hit me up,” Potter told Lily with a smirk, before starting towards the broom shed with Peter.

Lily rolled her eyes, then stretched her neck. She was tired and sore and nothing would be nicer right now than… She perked up.

“So…” Gwen drawled. “Was this it? Or am I actually getting presents, too?”

“The presents are back in the dorm,” Mary replied.

“I have a bottle of firewhisky with your name on it,” Sirius told Gwen with a wink.

“Hooray for booze.” Gwen smirked.

“And there is a follow-up celebration,” Lily said, her eyes gleaming with inspiration.

“There is?” Marlene asked, frowning.

“Yup. Girls only.”

“That’s not fair,” Sirius complained.

“Shut up and let’s leave them to it,” Remus said, grabbing Sirius’ arm and hauling him off.

“What’s the follow-up?” Mary asked.

“Well,” Lily said slowly, “I’m feeling all stiff and am probably half-way to becoming an icicle so just now I was thinking I’d really like a nice warm bath…”

“A bath is not a celebration,” Marlene said.

“Shush,” Gwen hissed.

“…So I figured why not make a thing of it,” Lily continued, “grab some of the sweets and chocolates we got from Honeydukes yesterday and then sneak into the Prefects’ bathroom.”

“I was wrong, that sounds like the perfect follow-up,” Marlene declared.

“Seconded,” Gwen said.

“Come on, let’s all get out of the cold,” Mary prompted.

The Gryffindor girls left the Quidditch Pitch and walked across the snowy grounds towards the castle, and the nice warm bath waiting within.

 

* * *

 

 

One moment it was Monday morning and James had been trudging through snow towards the greenhouses with Sirius and Remus for their Herbology lesson – and then it was Friday evening and he was tucked away in a corner of the Common Room with his friends.

It seemed like the entire week had flown by in the blink of an eye; probably because he had been snowed in with schoolwork for the most of it. McGonagall had assigned a paper for them even though it was the last week of term; Slughorn had wanted to test their skills in potion brewing; Quirke had decided to revise everything they’d been going through all autumn.

It was almost too good to think that tomorrow morning he could board the Hogwarts Express and go home, that for the next few weeks he would not have to give schoolwork a single thought.

In a few hours he’d be sneaking out, to have a little rendezvous with Dana, but for now he would enjoy the company of his friends.

James watched them, frowning a little as his gaze caught Remus’ pale face.

The question slipped out before he could think. “Will you be all right?”

Remus raised his eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders.

“Sure. It’s better if I stay, anyway.”

“It’s pretty cool once everyone’s gone,” Sirius commented. “Feels like you have the place all to yourself.”

James nodded, taking Sirius’ word for it. He’d never stayed at school for the break himself.

“Pete’s staying too so I won’t be alone,” Remus said, his lips twitching.

“It’ll be fun.” Peter smiled. “And the feast is going to be amazing.”

“We’d have room for you guys, too,” James said. It was a last-minute offer, though not the first he’d made.

“We’ll be fine, James,” Remus replied. His lips quirked into a wry smile. “I’ll enjoy the peace and quiet.”

“We did some of our best mischief and snooping during the Christmas break,” Sirius said. “It feels weird not to stay this year.”

“We found that passageway behind the mirror during Christmas break in our third year, didn’t we?” Peter said.

“After this week, I’m just glad not to have to open a textbook for a while,” Remus said.

James grinned and nodded. “Me too, Moony. Me too.”

“Hi guys.”

“Hi Marlene, hi Lily,” Peter greeted the girls.

James scooted over to make room and Marlene plopped down. Lily sat down on the armrest of the chair Sirius was sitting in, and tucked her feet in his lap.

Which didn’t irritate James at all.

Not even a little bit.

“All packed?” Lily asked.

“Yeah right,” Sirius laughed.

“Why pack without any rush on the night before, when you can wait until the last minute and have a mad scramble in the morning,” Remus said, his voice dry with sarcasm.

“What he said.” James grinned.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Why indeed.”

“I haven’t packed yet either,” Marlene said.

“Where are the others?” Remus asked.

“Mary’s still upstairs packing,” Lily replied. “Gwen is off somewhere saying goodbye to O’Sullivan.”

“You mean kissing goodbye,” Marlene snickered.

“No goodbye like a good snog,” Sirius said, wriggling his eyebrows. “Which means the real question is, what are you two ladies doing here with us?”

Peter giggled, but James wasn’t amused.

“Sirius,” he hissed.

“I don’t need to tell Benjy goodbye.” Marlene shrugged. “He’s dating me and he’s my brother’s best friend, he’s gonna show up at our house during the break.”

“That’s cute. What’s your excuse, Lily?”

James glared at Sirius, and was glad when Lily casually jabbed his arm with her elbow.

“I’m going to see Connor tomorrow morning on the train. I’ll get my snogging on then.”

“Nice.” Sirius high-fived Lily.

James gritted his teeth, and glanced at the clock. It was time.

“Well, speaking of saying goodbye, I should go and see Dana,” James said, getting to his feet.

He ran his hand through his hair and grinned as Marlene wolf-whistled and Sirius put up his hand.

James high-fived his best friend, said bye to his friends who were all ribbing him now, and made his way out of the Common Room.

He was going to see his fit girlfriend and have a good snog with her. His stomach was fluttering at the prospect, silencing that tiny part of his brain that – for a fleeting second – had felt reluctant to leave.

 

* * *

 

 

“I know that the term is technically over, and that everyone is excited and in a holiday mood,” Connor Matheson spoke, letting his gaze sweep across the train carriage. The Prefects, crammed within, were looking forward to the Christmas break as much as any other student, if the restless movements and frequent grins were any indication. Lily could tell – she was one of them after all.

“Nevertheless, let’s try to keep an eye on things and make sure things don’t get too rowdy, all right? Since Professor Quirke is riding with us to London and all.”

Lily sat a little straighter at that. She hadn’t noticed the Professor boarding the train in Hogsmeade. She chorused her agreement along with the other Prefects, saw Connor slant a quick look and a smile at Alice.

“That’s all for now,” Alice told them. “You’re free to go.”

Lily got up as her fellow Prefects started filing out, feeling oddly lonely without Remus.

“Lily?”

She turned. Connor had walked over to her.

“Can you stay for a while?”

“Of course.” Lily smiled at him and took his hand. She’d expected this, had told Sirius and the gang as much last night – and still she was pleased, almost gleeful that Connor wanted to have a moment alone with her.

He squeezed her hand, and waited until all the Prefects and Alice had left the carriage before speaking again.

“It’s such a waste,” he said, a smile curving on his lips. “Now when we would finally have the time, we can’t spend it with each other.”

“Life is cruel like that,” Lily replied, flashing him a smile of her own. “But we can write to each other.”

“I will write you lots. I’m going to miss you.”

Lily leaned closer and laid her hand on his chest. She looked up to meet his eyes.

“I’m gonna miss you, too.”

Connor grinned. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Lily sighed when his lips brushed against hers.

The kiss was slow and sweet, and Lily forgot entirely to worry about being caught if any of her fellow Prefects decided to return to the compartment.

But no one came to interrupt them, so they had the moment all to themselves.

Connor pulled back, though he still held Lily’s arm in a warm, gentle grip.

“Can’t do that in a letter,” he said, smiling in satisfaction.

Lily blushed a little, and cursed herself for it. “The break will be over sooner than we’d like,” she told him.

“That’s true.” Connor chuckled.

He let go of her, and stepped back.

“I’d better go and get some patrolling done myself.”

Lily tilted her head. “Want me to come with?”

He smiled at her, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I appreciate the offer, but having you around would distract me. Go on, your friends must be waiting.”

Lily nodded, her cheeks warm and flushed once again. “All right. I’ll see you around?”

He leaned in, pressed a quick kiss against her lips.

“See you.”

His words sounded more like a promise than a goodbye, and Lily left the Prefects’ compartment of the train with a skip in her step and a huge smile on her lips.

 

* * *

 

 

That smile lasted until Lily found Mary, Marlene and Gwen at the back of the train, sharing a compartment with James and Sirius. It wasn’t the presence of the two boys that wiped off her good mood – at this point it wasn’t even a surprise to see them sitting together with her female friends.

But seeing her cat Augustus all curled up and purring in contentment while nestled in Potter’s lap did give Lily pause.

Her eyebrow arched, and she marched into the compartment, stopping to gesture towards Potter and the cat.

“What’s going on?”

“He was getting restless,” Marlene explained.

“Potter or the cat?” Lily couldn’t help asking.

“Augustus.” Mary smiled. “He doesn’t like the carrier.”

“James took pity on him and let him out and, well, you can see for yourself.” Sirius shrugged.

Lily shook her head, even as her lips twitched at the sight.

Potter scratched Augustus’ ear and looked up, offering Lily a sheepish smile. “Hope you don’t mind, Evans.”

“I don’t mind you helping out my cat, I mind my cat being a traitorous bastard,” she replied.

Sirius nudged her leg with the toe of his shoe. “Stop frowning, Lily. And sit down.” He patted at the bench beside him.

Lily sat down, slanting one last look at her cat.

“Just remember who feeds your ungrateful furry arse,” she muttered.

“How was the Prefects’ meeting?” Mary asked.

“Short and to the point.” Lily shrugged.

Gwen smirked. “And how was the Head Boy?”

“I don’t kiss and tell,” Lily replied.

“Nice,” Sirius said, wrapping his arm around Lily’s shoulders. “Got the snogging done right on schedule. Hope it was good enough to tide you over these two long weeks.”

Lily rolled her eyes.

“Maybe I should go bid Benjy goodbye after all,” Marlene mused.

“Why?” Gwen looked at her pointedly, eyebrows arched. “He’ll be spending half the break over at your house, anyway.”

Marlene grimaced. “He is, but maybe there won’t be much opportunity for snogging with my parents and my stupid brothers around.”

“I have faith in you,” Sirius told Marlene. “Where there’s will, there’s a way.”

“Your family is only a hindrance,” Potter chimed in, grinning.

“Speaking from personal experience, James?” Gwen asked.

“Nah, never brought a bird home – I bet my mum will start picking out china patterns the moment I would.”

Sirius snorted. “Please. We’re talking about Euphemia Potter. Bird or no, she already has china patterns in reserve for her only child.”

Lily laughed with Marlene and Gwen, even as Potter made a face.

“You’re probably right,” he said, idly petting Augustus.

“I can relate,” Lily said. She tried not to get distracted by her traitorous cat – it was oddly endearing, to see him cosy up with Potter.

“I haven’t told my parents about Connor, either.”

“Why?” Marlene gaped at her. “He’s like the ultimate son-in-law.”

“Yup,” Sirius agreed. “Totally the type all mums everywhere will coo over.”

“That’s exactly why,” Lily said. “I’m not exactly in the china pattern picking stage myself, either.”

Potter grinned and met her eyes; gave her a wink that had laughter bubbling in Lily’s throat again.

Gwen nodded. “Fair point.”

“Yeah.” Lily pursed her lips. “I just want to see where it goes, without having my family breathe down my neck.”

“I hear you,” Marlene said. “Loud and clear.”

Mary smiled and nodded. “Makes sense.”

They talked and laughed, as the scenery behind the window rolled past. The hours flew by as swiftly and without notice as the many miles between Hogsmeade and London, while they enjoyed each other’s company.

All too soon, the scarlet train pulled up at platform 9¾ and the students, now dressed in Muggle clothes, stepped off with their trunks and things.

Lily bid her friends goodbye on the platform. Hugs were exchanged – even with Potter – as were promises to write and assurances that they’d see each other again soon.

Then, Lily turned, and walked to where her parents stood waiting.

 


	18. Family

It was good to be home, Lily decided, throwing herself onto her bed, staring at the ceiling of her room. Augustus hopped onto the bed after her, curled up and pressed himself against her thigh. She’d missed her room – the atmosphere, the peacefulness of it. Having a space of her own.

There were times when she wanted to be alone, and closing the curtains of her four-poster bed wasn’t at all the same as having a room of her own.

It was one more reason why she hoped to be Head Girl next year. She’d heard from Connor that the Head Students had their own rooms. Extra incentive, for the busy seventh years to shoulder the additional duties and responsibilities the Head Students had to face.

The day of travelling, first the train to London and then the drive with her parents to Cokeworth, had been gruelling. Lily had almost drifted off, when there was a knock on her door.

It opened part way, and Lily’s mother looked in.

“I know you’re tired, dear, but we’re having a late dinner downstairs.”

Lily sat up. “I’m coming.”

As if sensing food was involved, Augustus uncurled himself and followed Lily out of the room and down the stairs.

“You should’ve told me,” Lily said to her mother as they entered the dining room together. “I could’ve helped set the table.”

“You’ve had a long day, dear. I wanted to let you rest.”

“You can help tomorrow, if you insist,” her father put in, winking from his seat at the end of the table.

Lily smiled, and chose the same seat that had been hers for as long as she could remember. Only as she sat down at the table, opposite from her mother, she noticed the empty chair.

“Petunia’s not here?”

Lily hadn’t thought much of it before, her sister wanted to avoid the company of a “freak” like Lily whenever possible – but never enough to skip a family dinner.

“Oh, no. Not yet. Tuney’s not coming from London till Christmas Eve,” her mother told her. “She got a job, you know.”

“Really?” That was news to Lily.

“Yeah, just a while back, after she finished that typing course of hers. Some kind of an office deal.”

“Good for her,” Lily muttered, helping herself to the potatoes.

“So,” her father said, smiling as he glanced at Lily, “how’s school?”

“It’s going well,” she replied. Paused to take a sip of water. “It feels much more demanding than last year, though.”

“These are advanced classes, aren’t they?” her mother asked, passing Lily the gravy.

“Yeah.” Lily nodded. “We’re learning a lot.”

“That’s good then.” Her mother smiled. “Did you have a new teacher again?”

“Yeah, Professor Quirke. She’s great. She’s kind of my role model, actually.”

His father’s knife and fork stopped as he looked at her with a frown. “Didn’t you want to be… what do the magical folk call doctors again?”

“Healers, Dad. And yeah I still want to be one. That’s the plan,” Lily replied.

“I’m sure you can be anything you want,” her mother said.

Warmth swelled in Lily’s chest. “Thanks, Mum.”

“Did you hear about the whirlwind, Lily?” her father asked.

Lily frowned. “What whirlwind?”

“I don’t suppose you have much chance to follow the news, up at that school of yours,” Lily’s mother commented. “There was a horrible whirlwind near Salisbury, just ten days ago.”

Lily’s stomach plummeted, her guts turned to ice. “Really?” she said, fighting to keep her voice casual.

“Dreadful thing.” Her father shook his head. “Lifted sheds right into the air! Damage to the walls and roofs – there were even a few casualties.”

Lily was squeezing her fork and knife so tightly her knuckles were white. “That sounds terrible.”

“That poor family. It was so sad,” Lily’s mother sighed.

Lily stuffed food in her mouth. It tasted little better than ash on her tongue, but at least she wouldn’t be expected to comment on the subject any further with her mouth full.

For a long, torturous second she wanted to tell her parents everything, about the dark magic, about the Death Eaters, the war, the threat to all Muggleborns.

But doing that would only unload her own burdens a little, and add much more to theirs. She didn’t want them to worry, didn’t want to tell them of the dangers of the wizarding world.

So she put on a smile, and joined the conversation about the book club her mother had joined. She enjoyed the company of her family, and ate her dinner, even though she no longer had the appetite.

 

* * *

 

 

James walked into the kitchen on Sunday morning, and found his father sitting at the small table in a nook by the window, sipping his coffee.

The table only sat four people, and it was the spot the Potter family preferred for breakfast and lunch since it wasn’t as formal as dining room just behind the double doors.

James ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair and crossed the kitchen. He took a seat next to his father.

“Good morning,” he said, as he grabbed the pot to pour himself coffee.

“Good morning, Son. Early as always.”

He rested his hand briefly on James’ shoulder.

“Mum’s still sleeping?”

Fleamont Potter nodded. “Better let her sleep in. It’s Sunday after all. Sirius?”

James snorted. “Couldn’t drag him out of bed at this hour even if the sky was falling.”

“That sounds about right,” Fleamont chuckled. He picked up a plate, and began heaping food on it. “You’d better get in a hearty breakfast, Son. It’s going to be a long day.”

He set the full plate down in front of James.

“What do we have planned?” James asked before stuffing scrambled eggs into his mouth.

“The usual. Your mother wants to do Christmas cleaning.”

James chewed for a moment in silence, then sighed in resignation. “Every year.”

“Yes, I’m afraid Christmas does come every year,” Fleamont replied, and sipped his coffee.

“It’s unfair is what it is, Dad,” James protested. “We only arrived yesterday. We haven’t made any mess with Sirius.”

“I know. But you’re going to help your mother anyway, aren’t you.”

“Of course I am,” James said. He shrugged and speared a slice of bacon with his fork. “It’s a big house and she’ll need all the help she can get.”

“And after cleaning,” his mother’s voice came from the kitchen doorway, “we’ll put up the Christmas decorations.”

James grinned. “Now _that_ I’m looking forward to.”

Euphemia Potter smiled, and bent to kiss her son’s cheek before she walked around the table and took a free seat.

“Here you go, darling,” Fleamont said, offering her tea he’d already poured for her.

“Thank you, Monty.”

The smile they shared made James feel both warm and wistful.

One day, he wanted to have what his parents had: a love so deep it somehow stayed fresh even as it endured decades after decades.

James wolfed down his breakfast, while his father poured himself a second cup of coffee, and his mother helped herself to some oatmeal.

“Are we going to start cleaning right after breakfast?” James asked, piling more bacon onto his plate. “Or should we wait for Sirius?”

“If we wait for Sirius, we’ll be cleaning late into the night,” Euphemia Potter murmured, shaking her head. “We’ll get an early start, and put Sirius to work once he deigns to get out of bed.”

That didn’t seem quite fair either. Then again, Sirius would probably be more help than James, since he was of age and could use magic to clean up. James frowned at his plate. “Okay.”

James decided to start cleaning as soon as the breakfast was finished, by volunteering to clear the table. The day was long and busy, and James did his part even though he couldn’t use magic. He washed the dishes, wiped down the tables, dusted the bookshelves, and aired out the bedrooms.

Sirius finally got up just before noon, and was allowed a quick breakfast before he was put to work. His first task was to clean all the toilets and bathrooms, which cheered James up considerably.

James’ mother polished all the silver and washed all the windows. After that she walked around the house, vanishing dust from the curtains and cleaning carpets with determined flicks of her wand. James’ father cleared the ash from the fireplace and took rugs and blankets and pillows out to air, before going in to clean his study and his workroom.

Then, finally, every surface was spotless and gleaming and not a speck of dust was to be found.

James collapsed onto the sitting room sofa with a groan, while Sirius chose to perch on the armrest.

Euphemia Potter walked in with the first box of decorations. Fleamont came a moment later, whistling _God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs_ off-key while balancing two more boxes.

James perked up when he saw the Christmas decorations waiting in the boxes.

“Ready for the second round, boys?” Euphemia asked, a teasing smile touching her lips.

“Let’s deck the halls,” Sirius said, jumping up from his seat. “I’ll take the garlands.”

“Monty, be a dear and bring in the tree. Would you decorate it, James?”

“’Course, Mum. I’d love to,” James replied, as his father left to get the tree.

“Thank you, dear. I think I’ll take the candles then.”

Putting up the decorations didn’t feel nearly as much work as cleaning had been. James found himself humming as he hung ornaments on the branches. After he finished, he had to take a few steps back to admire his handiwork.

With the tree and its ornaments glittering softly in the firelight, with the fresh fir scent bathing the sitting room, it was starting to feel a lot like Christmas.

 

* * *

 

 

On Christmas morning, Lily blinked through the haze of sleep and turned towards the sound that had woken her. The knocking, to her sleep-fuddled surprise wasn’t coming from the door but from the window, where a large brown owl was pecking the glass.

Lily got up, crossed the room, and opened the window to let the owl in. Augustus’ head snapped up, his ears alert as the large bird glided into the room on soundless wings.

It circled Lily’s bed, then dropped down the package he’d been carrying, before landing to rest on top of Lily’s bookshelf.

Lily padded back across her room and climbed back into bed, wrapping her blanket over her shoulders in a comfy cocoon of warmth before she picked up the package, wrapped in a merry Christmas tree motif paper.

It was surprisingly light. Lily settled it in her lap and unwrapped the gift, while Augustus and the owl stared unblinkingly at one another.

Lily gasped at the sight of the leather-bound book. It was heavier in her lap once she peeled the paper away, so it must have been charmed to make the owl’s job easier.

She ran her finger over the title stamped onto the front cover with gold-leaf letters: _Practical Approaches to Healing_.

Then, she reached for the card that had fallen in the pile of wrapping paper.

_Dearest Lily,_

_Happy Christmas. I hope this present helps you with your future aspirations._

_With love, Connor_

Thoughtful _and_ helpful! Lily smiled as the card, then propped it up on her bedside table.

She abandoned her blanket cocoon and walked over to her desk. After a moment of rifling through to find a spare piece of parchment, she sat down and reached for a quill lying on her desk. She opened her ink bottle, and began to write.

_Dear Connor_

Lily smiled again, as the quill scratched against the heavy parchment.

_Thank you so much for the book! Such a thoughtful and helpful present, how did you even know I was interested in this volume? You’re not a Legilimens, are you?_

_I hope you’re having a lovely Christmas._

Lily’s quill paused for a moment. Her cheeks flushed, but then, biting her lip, she resumed writing.

_Can’t wait to see you in January, when I can thank you for the present in person._

_Love, Lily_

As she waited for the ink to dry, she rummaged through her bag to find the present she’d got for Connor. She rolled up her letter, then called the owl.

It swooped down obediently, landing before her on the desk and proffering its leg.

Somehow, Lily wasn’t at all surprised that Connor’s owl was impeccably trained.

She tied the letter in place, then held out the gift.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any owl treats,” she murmured.

The owl hooted, then clutched at Connor’s present and flew out of the window.

Lily closed the window and leaned against the cold glass for a moment, savouring the warm glow in her chest.

Then, still in her pyjamas, she left her room and went downstairs.

Her mother looked up when Lily entered the sitting room.

“There you are, dear! I was about to come to wake you.”

“I’m up,” Lily replied. She went over and hugged her mother. “Happy Christmas.”

She hugged his father and kissed him on the cheek. “Happy Christmas, Dad.”

She turned and locked eyes with Petunia, but after a moment’s hesitation, walked over and gave her older sister a brief, awkward hug and a mumbled “Happy Christmas.”

Then, she sat down on the floor by the Christmas tree, the spot she’d always chosen on Christmas morning.

“Well, now that we’re all here, let’s open the presents,” Mr Evans decided.

Lily helped to sort out the presents under the Christmas tree, and her father handed her mother’s and Petunia’s presents over to them.

The next few moments, the room was quiet, except for the sounds of tearing paper.

Lily glanced over and smothered a smile. Petunia hadn’t changed, she still unwrapped her presents with tidy precision, taking care not to rip the paper.

Lily turned to her own presents. There were four of them, and the first revealed to be a pair of socks and two hairclips. Lily guessed that had been from Petunia. Next, she unwrapped a nice sweater. The next present turned out to be a book: _The Hound of the Baskervilles_. Lily smiled, and gently laid it down on the floor before she picked up the last present. She tore off the wrapping paper and found a brown leather bag. She looked up, saw her mother was watching her.

“I noticed your school bag was getting a little scruffy,” Mrs Evans said. “I thought it was time for you to get a new one.”

“It’s lovely,” Lily said. “I hope it wasn’t too expensive.”

“Don’t you worry about that, dear.”

Lily got up, sat next to her mother on the sofa. “Thanks.” She hugged her.

Mrs Evans patted her back. “You’re welcome, dear. I’m glad you like it.”

After opening the presents, Christmas day proceeded as usual: the Evans family had breakfast together, then split up. Lily and her father went into the sitting room, where they played cards together. Lily’s mother and Petunia were in the kitchen, busy with dinner preparations. Snatches of their conversation floated back to the sitting room, and Lily couldn’t help noticing how Petunia kept bringing up this Vernon bloke from work.

Petunia and Mrs Evans joined Lily and Mr Evans in the sitting room at 3 PM, so they could all watch the Queen’s Christmas message on telly. After that, they gathered in the dining room to eat the Christmas dinner.

It was a typical Christmas and a good one. In the evening, Lily reflected that family was the reason why Christmas was her favourite holiday – spending time with them, just _being_ with them, chatting and laughing and sitting around the table, or just watching telly together in silence. For one day, having called a temporary truce by mutual agreement, it was even nice to see Petunia.

Sure, the socks had been a disappointment, but the hairclips she’d got for Lily had actually been kind of cute.

Late that evening, Lily hugged Augustus close, and went to sleep with a smile.

 

* * *

 

On Wednesday morning, three days after Christmas, James woke up bright and early. He stretched and reached for his glasses on the bedside table, ran his hand through his sleep-mussed hair. He got up, and pulled on Muggle clothes – a pair of jogging bottoms and the band T-shirt Peter had got him for Christmas. He also grabbed the pair of gloves he’d got from Dana, before he tiptoed downstairs.

He heard his father humming a Christmas song before he got to the kitchen, and smiled at the familiarity of it all.

“Morning, Dad,” he said when he stepped into the kitchen.

Fleamont Potter glanced up from the morning paper. “Good morning, Son. Off for a run?”

“Yeah, just gonna jog on the grounds.”

“It’s windy today so dress warm,” his father told him.

James grinned and showed his new gloves.

Fleamont nodded and went back to his paper, as James walked out of the kitchen.

He pulled on a jacket, found a scarf and a hat and his running shoes, and went outside.

It was still dark out, but he didn’t mind. The sky was clear and the stars glittered above him. There was just a bit of snow, nowhere near the thick white blanket he’d had to wade through at Hogwarts. It crunched under his feet, as he set out with a comfortable jog along the grounds he knew like the back of his hand. Up there was the small grove of trees he’d hidden the shards of the vase he’d broken with an errant toss of a Quaffle. Down that path was the crook where he’d loved to play as a little boy. Right from here was the garden his father liked to putter in – he preferred growing his own potion ingredients.

James ran for half an hour, before he returned to the welcoming warmth of home. He took off the outerwear, and headed for the stairs so he could go up to take a shower.

He was on the first step when he froze. His mind rolled with uneasiness, even though he couldn’t tell what was wrong. He stood there for a couple of seconds that felt like forever, his ears straining in the silence of the house as he tried to catch what had set some deep-set instinct off.

_Silence_.

No humming from the kitchen. No crinkling of paper, clinking of dishes.

James frowned and turned around. His strides were long and sure and he was in the kitchen doorway in moments.

His father still sat in his seat, but he was slumped over the table, his cheek resting on the newspaper. His cup had overturned; coffee was pooling on the table, dripping onto the floor.

Cold dread clasped James, tore a gasp out of his throat.

“Dad?” The sound was a fearful plea.

He ran over, shook his father’s shoulder and got no response.

“Dad!” His voice was louder now, high with alarm.

James turned and ran. He took the stairs two or three at a time. His eyes were wild when he burst into his parents’ bedroom.

His mother jolted, sat up in the bed.

“Something’s wrong with Dad,” James told her.

Then Euphemia Potter was moving. She grabbed robes she’d folded on an armchair the night before and struggled to pull them on over her nightgown even as she marched out of the bedroom and along the upstairs corridor.

They hurried down to the kitchen.

Euphemia grew pale, her mouth grew firm. She tried to wake her husband up to no avail, then struggled to pull him upright.

James rushed to help, and together they managed to get him on his feet.

“Let go now, James,” his mother told him. “I’m taking him to St. Mungo’s. You can Floo in with Sirius, all right?”

James nodded numbly, let his nerveless hands fall to his sides.

Her mother stood straight, carried her husband’s weight and turned on the spot.

She Disapparated with a loud pop, leaving James alone with his heart wrenching fear.

 

* * *

 

  

James rolled the pinch of Floo powder on his palm, waiting to snap out of it; waiting to wake up and realise it had all been just a nightmare.

But the only wake-up call was Sirius’ impatient nudge to his shoulder.

James swallowed past the tightness in his throat and tossed the powder into the fireplace he’d lit moments earlier.

The flames leaped up, now emerald green, and James stepped right into them.

“St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries,” he croaked out – and only as he was spinning, realised he hadn’t thought of removing his glasses.

James stumbled out of the fireplace at St. Mungo’s, his eyes stinging from soot, the dry taste of ash in his mouth.

James ignored the Healers hurrying about in their lime green robes, and the scattering of witches and wizards waiting in the reception area, suffering from various mishaps and maladies. He strode right towards the people queueing up to a desk bearing a sign that read _Inquiries_. After a rush of footsteps, Sirius appeared at his side. They waited in silence as the line slowly moved forward. James didn’t really register anything he saw or heard around him, he was busy fidgeting in his spot.

Sirius laid his hand on his shoulder, squeezed it so tight it was almost painful. But James still couldn’t call down.

When it was his turn at last, James rushed over to the reception desk.

“My father, Fleamont Potter, was just brought in,” he told the witch at the desk without preamble. “Where can I find him?”

Waiting while the witch perused her long list was the longest and most agonising minute of James’ life.

Then, she looked up at him. “Fleamont Potter is on the second floor, third door on the right.”

“Thank you,” James replied.

He and Sirius pushed through the double doors beside the desk, and walked a narrow corridor until they came to the staircase. They climbed up two flights and knew they were in the right place, because Mrs Potter was out in the corridor, pacing behind the third door on the right.

“Mum!”

“James. Sirius.” Euphemia hurried over to them, and hugged them both.

James pulled away reluctantly. A part of him wanted his mother to ruffle his hair and tell him everything would be all right – but he noticed how pale his mother was, the way her shoulders were stooped. He reached for his mother’s hand and squeezed it softly.

Euphemia met his gaze, tears glistening in the corner of her eyes.

“Why aren’t you inside?” Sirius asked.

“They don’t know what’s wrong with him yet,” Euphemia said, dabbing her eyes with her sleeve. “The Healer and a Mediwizard are with him now, performing a series of diagnostic spells. But since he did not lose consciousness due to a spell or potion or artefact or anything like that, as far as we know, they’re thinking it must be an illness of some kind. That’s why we’re here, on the second floor; Magical Bugs and Diseases.”

“So the Healers don’t know what’s going on?” James repeated, frowning.

Euphemia shook her head. “They want me – us – to wait here until they figure it out. A lot of these diseases, the people being treated on this floor, are infectious.”

James’ jaw clenched.

He didn’t know how long he stood in that corridor, leaning his back against the wall and holding his mother’s hand, Sirius by his side, slumping on the floor. Time was moving at the same sluggish and nightmarish pace than it had been since the moment he’d found his father in the kitchen. Every now and then, he felt an urge to pinch himself. In some deep corner of his soul he was still hoping that this was all a bad dream and he’d wake up to see his father grinning at him, a picture of health.

Finally, the door opened and a Healer and a Mediwizard stepped out.

The Healer spared a quick glance at James and Sirius, before focusing on Euphemia.

“Mrs Potter, it seems your husband had contracted a rare malady that affects his brain. I know that sounds scary, but here is the good news: there is a cure for his condition.”

The relief was so staggering that James’ knees jerked.

“He’s still unconscious, but as we were able to begin the treatment right away, I’m confident he’ll make a full recovery.”

“Thank you so much,” Euphemia told the Healer, clutching her chest.

“Would you like to see him now?” The Mediwizard asked.

“Yes, please.”

The Healer and Mediwizard bid their goodbyes and hurried off, leaving James, Euphemia and Sirius alone in the corridor.

Sirius cleared his throat. “I can wait out here, if you want to –”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Euphemia cut in. “You’re family.”

Sirius bowed his head, and followed Euphemia and James through the door and into the room.

James stayed a few steps behind, as his mother sat down on the visitor’s chair by his father’s bedside.

“Get better soon, you hear me, Monty?” Euphemia told her husband, her fingers brushing against his cheek.

James swallowed.

Lying on that hospital bed, his father looked peaceful but _wrong_. There seemed to be so little of his father’s strong solid presence left in that pale and frail old man.

Sirius spoke, his voice so low only James heard him.

“He’ll get better.”

James nodded, his throat tight, his hands squeezed into fists.

His parents had always been older, but in this moment, that fact became painfully clear.

His father would get better, but he wouldn’t be getting any younger.

 

 


End file.
